An easy trick to become the support of her dreams
You’ve probably heard that men watch porn and women read erotica.
This is not accurate enough. Everyone watches porn.
But there is quite a kernel of truth in there. Because women definitely read a lot more faces than men.
Years ago, I bought myself an ereader – and it wasn’t to dabble in the classics.
I wanted to read dirty novels that would get my pulse racing, but I wanted to keep him low. I didn’t have the guts to walk around with a paperback that had toned abs on the cover or a title like Desperate Babysitters.
However, Mr. Austin never bothered to get one. He didn’t even ask to borrow mine.
He was hornier than me and read more than me. But he stuck to the books he could read openly on the bus.
And he’s certainly not the only horny guy who spends his time reading Dickens instead of reading about a good jump.
Which is a real missed opportunity. Because romance could teach most men a few things that would make them much better in bed.
And yes, many of them are written by women and for women – that’s why there are shirtless pieces on most covers. But that’s exactly why reading it can give you a real kick in the bum.
If you really want to blow your lady’s mind and rock her world, reading these dirty novels will definitely help. Here’s why.
You will see through the female gaze
Many men really struggle to become more attractive to women.
It’s not because they’re not trying – it’s because they’re not really sure how to go about it.
Most straight dudes just don’t understand what makes a man attractive. And those who think they do usually get it somewhat wrong.
I think it’s because they think about the qualities they admire in other kids – or the qualities they wish they had. But these don’t always overlap with the things that make women bite their lips.
Like forearms.
Guys really don’t understand how incredibly attractive forearms can be. And that’s not all a strange conflict I have. Any lady reading this is probably nodding her head right now, because there are ways men display their forearms that are almost universally considered hot.
Same with the hands.
A guy who’s good with his hands is instantly hotter. And doing something that shows how dexterous or strong your hands are is enough to raise the temperature.
That’s why so many women crave men who chop wood or play the instrument. Seeing a man use his hands like this is basically the equivalent of glancing up a girl’s miniskirt when she’s looking for something on a high shelf.
If you read romantically, you will begin to notice it everywhere. There will be a lot of emphasis on guys who roll up their sleeves. There will be women who look deeply at the way a man’s hands and fingers move.
And once you start picking out what women tend to see, you can use that information to make yourself even more attractive.
You will learn the small details that make a big difference
Men in romance novels smile a lot.
This isn’t because the writers ran out of ways to describe a smile – it’s very intentional.
Because a smile isn’t just a polite non-verbal response. Neither is laughing out loud at something.
It’s a more subtle reaction that shows he appreciates what a lady just said or did. He’s the one who records that he said something clever, did something adorable, or managed to impress him.
This is why love studs smile – because this is exactly the response a lady wants to get from a man.
A smile is a sign that it has an effect on him. It makes her feel cared for. He shows that he cares about her and likes what she brings.
And that’s incredibly exciting. It’s part of what he does good flirting it feels like such a rush.
It’s a small detail that many men wouldn’t notice – but that most women wouldn’t miss.
Same with the door frame trick.
This is a simple move where you meet your lady under a door frame, then place your hand on top of her and lean into her.
I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it can make a girl melt into a puddle of riotous glee.
Romance novels are basically collections of such things – the little details that make a lady wish she could strip and be manipulated. And this is really useful information if you want to be the one doing the handling.
You will find out how he really wants to fuck her
When I was still living with my parents, I could only get hold of a romance novel.
It was my mom’s and she had done her best to hide it, but I was smelly enough to find it anyway. And because I was better at hiding things than she was, she never found it again, so it was mine from that point on.
The dog listened to this book almost in pieces. And there were some very spicy chapters that I kept coming back to, again and again.
What I couldn’t stop reading included a few light rope bondage and a vibrator. There was just something so incredibly arousing about the idea of pleasing one’s partner with a sex toy.
Not because it sounded more pleasant than the other pages full of penetration. It’s because there was something kinky about it – in a very vanilla way.
But that kind of thing is surprisingly rare in porn.
There is light slavery here and there, but not as much as it is in dirty books.
You may see women making out with toys. You might see girls fucking each other with dildos and straps. But you won’t come across so many videos of men teasing and pleasing a lady vibratorsvibrators, pools and fuck machines.
So you might not realize that using toys on your partner is such a big deal – but it is. It’s an important turn and a big part of many women’s fantasies.
But it’s something you’ll miss if you spend all your time watching mold instead of reading it.
You will improve your dirty talk
There’s a reason many women continue to read romance even when they could be watching porn.
No, it’s not just because of the story.
It’s because of the dirty talk.
This is one thing that makes the erotic so attractive. It’s all words and no graphics, so you’ll have plenty of steamy and intense dialogue.
It’s full of pranks that lead to flirting. Flirty exchanges that lead to sex. And dirty words while they fuck.
Which is really handy if you want to work on your dirty talk.
And you probably should, because it’s one of the longest sleeves for most ladies – even more so than rolled up shirt sleeves.
Like, good dirty talk can arguably make the bird better. It is so important.
However, many children have a hard time. They either go too far and make it too ugly or humiliating. Or they don’t go far enough and everything sounds a bit tame and timid.
And sure, you can find porn with really good dirty talk. It’s hot as hell out there. But you’re just as likely to find videos that are either too quiet or a little too extreme.
The balance is much better in the erotic. More often than not, it’s just the right mix of dirty, sweet, confident, and careful.
It’s also what they do best. And if you’re going to learn, you might as well learn from the pros.
You will never run out of moves
One of the hard things about being in a long-term relationship is that you can’t keep things hot if you don’t keep them fresh.
You have to be reliable in the sack. Your lady needs to know that if she lets you run your hand up her skirt, she’ll really deserve it.
But you can’t be too predictable. Otherwise, the thought of your hand going up her skirt loses its luster.
Basically, she doesn’t want to know exactly where you’re going when you’re making the moves. He just wants to know that it will be somewhere good.
Which means you have to keep finding new ways to tease her, please her, and push her away.
This is a complete guess, but I will say that most men have about eight sex drives in total. I just made that number up – it’s correct, though. And that’s not nearly enough. It won’t be long before he sees all eight of your moves coming a mile away.
This is another thing that makes erotica so convenient. It’s inspo to spice things up and keep her on her toes.
If you read it once in a while, you’ll keep adding new tricks up your sleeve – tricks he hasn’t seen yet.
Become a Fantasy Stud
You can learn some great moves from good porn.
And if you watch the right stuff, you can get a better handle on what will make a lady admire herself – and then rage.
But erotica is basically a manual for what most women find incredibly sexy and arousing.
It won’t give you a step-by-step breakdown of how to enable or disable it. But it will give you a lot of advice that you should definitely follow.
Don’t give up porn – it’s a healthy hobby. Do not stop communicating and talking about sex – this is necessary. But if you really want to impress your girl, it helps to take a look at what her fantasies might look like – and try to look a little bit more alike.
So if you don’t have a reader yet, it might be time to get one.
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If you enjoyed this article, you should totally check it out How to Shoot Ropes (Big Loads, Big Supplements, and Big Ropes) episode of my dirty and intimate sex podcast, Pillow Talk with Emma Austin!
