Just because we’re moving in together doesn’t mean Marriageit’s still a pretty big decision to make.
And many professionals admit that making that decision should be intentional and deliberate rather than just deciding one day to take the plunge.
But we get it: maybe you’ve been appointment for a while and you already spend most of your time together. The obvious move would be to pack up and move in, right? It is not always.
Sure, there are many perks to moving in together! Saving money for rent, shared housework, probably more intimacy etc. But sometimes, that happy picture doesn’t exactly come to life.
Important things to consider before moving in together
So, if you’re on the fence about living with a partner, here are a few things that might help you make the right choice…
Have a conversation
Living with a partner involves two people. So while it’s important to engage in solo introspection, a conversation with your partner is equally vital.
In this chat, you can discuss:
Relationship negotiations
- Is it temporary or permanent?
- Do you see marriage in your future?
- Where do you want to live?
- How will you negotiate the space?
- What are yours? sexual expectations;
- What about alone time?
- What are their customs, religious practices and cultural norms?
- Do you have relationship boundaries?
Domestic negotiations
- How will jobs be shared?
- How will you manage your money?
- Do you have or want to have pets?
- You think to have children?
- Do you often have guests staying over?
Communication negotiations
- What are your communication expectations?
- Do you know how to argue in a healthy way?
- How will you face new issues together?
- What are your expectations about the other person’s schedule?
- How will COMMUNICATE when you are upset?
- What do you expect from his point of view social media use and privacy?
Don’t do it do it without much thought
You may already spend a lot of time together, stay at each other’s place regularly, enjoy things together, get along really well, and fit into each other’s schedules.
But when you choose to live together, the dynamics of your relationship will change.
For example, if you get into an argument, where do you go? When you go shopping, who will pay for it? And when you want to invite friends or go out without your partner, what will happen?
All of these things can only really be experienced after living with a partner, so it’s imperative that you have these important conversations beforehand.
Moving for convenience?
Before moving forward together, ask yourself openly and honestly about the motives behind it. Thinking of moving out of convenience or possibly solving one problem?
For example, maybe you just want to spend more time together, maybe you think it will help you financially, or maybe you don’t trust your relationship and feel like you could keep up with them better if you lived together.
These kinds of hassles and problems are great reasons to move in together. They may actually make problems worse or create a sense of deception and secrecy.
Instead, cohabitation should symbolize commitment to one another, while at the same time there should be room for each other to be independent.
Travel with your partner in advance
The closest thing to cohabitation might be just taking a trip with your partner. That way, you can measure yours compatibility in a space that is outside of your comfort zone.
While you are preparing or taking a trip, you have the opportunity to watch your partner’s planning skills habitsand other important things for a certain period of time.
This will give you a good indication of what it might be like to live with them, as well as figure out what might work before you choose to live together.
Do you like each other’s friends?
A simple question that needs deep thought. This may not seem like a major factor, but it could actually cause a lot of problems or even a breakup if one or both partners don’t like each other. the friends.
Actually, a study showed a significant increase in divorce among married couples when one partner disapproved of the other’s friends. And although cohabitation is not marriage, they share similar qualities and experiences.
Think about the situations you will find yourself in. Do you want to spend time with their friends? Do you mind being in their company? How would you feel if they came a long way and took up a lot of space and/or were loud? And how do you feel about potentially playing host when they come?
Essentially, moving in with your partner is truly a make or break experience.
Frequently asked questions answered by professionals: moving in with a partner
In closing, here are some interesting FAQs to show how and when couples choose to live together.
How soon should a couple wait to move in with each other?
According Kim Engelmarriage counselor:
“If you think of a new relationship as a life transition, then you can give the relationship at least a year to wait before making the leap to cohabitation.”
How long do most couples date before moving in together?
“Same-sex couples, on average, move in together within 6 months. For all other couples, it seems to average about two years.” says Dr. Brenda Wadepsychologist.
Facts and figures:
And finally, an American study from 2017 showed that from 2011 to 2015, 70% of marriages of women aged 35 and under took place after three years of cohabitation with their partner.
And so, these are some additional things to consider when making this big decision.
With this guide and information, we hope that – if you do decide to move in with your partner – that it’s an amazing, life-changing experience.
