Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnosis and Self-Assessment

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnosis and Self-Assessment”

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is incredibly difficult to diagnose in general. For starters, you need to have a willing participant who will accept the assessment process to fully quantify whether someone is truly narcissistic in nature. Even then, they are masters at deviating from the truth, so they are very likely to try to influence psychometric tests to suit their needs.

If you want to test yourself, here is the most commonly used psychometric test to diagnose NPD. You might be surprised at what appears in the results section.

I’ve included mine below, which I found interesting myself. I was especially interested in taking the time to see if the questions actually fit me, as there were many that took more time to see which ones fit me now compared to if it was my younger self answering the questions.

I find that I work with more and more women who are in a situation where they end up in bed with someone who has absolutely no respect for themselves and their autonomy and freedom. In contrast, the person who lies in his bed is someone who constantly degrades, diminishes and undermines every effort to reach a sense of freedom in his mind and body. Thus, this person slowly but surely begins to disarm himself of personal control and creates a situation where his well-being is completely dependent on the judgment of another.

How this condition arises is usually through sex ironically. The narcissistic person usually has an uncanny ability to demonstrate what great sex looks like and this becomes almost constant over the course of the relationship. The ability to transform into what the other person thinks is their ideal lover! When we receive amazing lovemaking, we naturally become addicted to this process and especially if it is provided over a long period of time, we naturally become dependent on believing that this is the basis of what making love is. Thus, our dependence moves away from loving our bodies to one where we focus purely on the sexual act and the satisfaction we get from the other. We also need to consider our own lack of self-love, as this is a huge bullseye for narcissistic predators.

In a circular way, a different type of codependency develops here. This is why an ongoing sexual relationship with yourself is vital and should be used as a foundation for your own sexual and mental balance. I believe that we trust our gender into the other’s space or allow the other into the sacred space of our sexuality, but that doesn’t mean they have control over the sense of autonomy we feel in that space. It is a shared space where two or more conscious minds and bodies come together to share a space to reach a complete sense of freedom and bliss. It’s about sharing and being with each other, not using control to manipulate the other into a state of weakness. This is why I always point out that sex is a real responsibility not only for oneself but also for the other person. There is no funny thing about sex, even though it can be incredibly happy and should be incredibly happy.

Once we’ve been conditioned to believe we know what we have in the other, and we’ve been forced to surrender completely to the other, this is where the manual often breaks your trust in yourself. This is where the narcissist will make you reflect on your life and introduce feelings of shame and guilt, even though there is nothing to be ashamed or guilty about. Your past experiences and choices will be used against you, almost in a way to smear you and keep you inferior to them. Keep in mind the statements that arise and are used all the time. They may be considered funny at first, but the level of venom increases as time goes by.

Once this is established, there will be a steady removal of your core (which is the confidence you have in yourself and your voice) and you will instill their values ​​and beliefs and warped outlook on life. This will continue to such an extent that eventually you will be the person who willingly adopted the narrative that was ever so gently thrust upon you.

There is something I call the narcissistic hook. This is something that happens with all narcissistic relationships, regardless of whether they are family in nature or with a romantic partner. They all use the same tactics. This hits you with the completely abstract and irrational way they see the world. You have a natural tendency to point out the fault in the way they see the world because it’s usually so absurd that you can’t help but open it up for discussion. What happens is that this will be an ongoing process until they convince you of the surreal nature of how they see the world.

It is at this point that they have penetrated the core of your belief system and can implant anything into your psyche, constantly pushing you over the edge. This is where you go against yourself. You get stuck in the narrative and that narrative becomes the main focus of yourself because you’re still trying to make sense of it instead of picking up your grumbles and putting on your running shoes and RUNNING!

Basically you have walked into the narcissistic trap and it will only get better when you realize that you have lost all respect for yourself and all trust in yourself to make the best decisions for yourself.

What happens at this point is that you yourself begin to turn on yourself. Literally point out your neediness and regressive behavior to the point where you start getting mixed up with disgusting comments like “you’re bipolar”, “you need therapy”, etc.

These are additional tactics used to take you further out of control of your autonomy.

When you truly look at yourself, you’ll recognize that you’re just a shell of your former self, but that doesn’t mean all hope is lost.

If you’ve at least gotten this far in the article, it means you’re looking for an answer.

I have a lot, but for now, you need to make sure you’re in relationships with people who love you. If you don’t have anyone, start making new friends. Start building the network of people who are not related to your partner so that you can rebuild some kind of safe space with others who are related “normally”.

It is here that you will allow yourself to re-engage with others who can begin to see your worth and this is the starting point for building your confidence and finding your voice again.

The main purpose is to create some kind of separation from the dependency you have created on this person. You will recognize that there is a definite dependency in some way shape or form on them. You have to break it down and recognize that the only way to change it is to introduce new experiences that have a greater emotional magnitude than what you are experiencing. This is what I call experiential erasure and it’s something I teach in my Dharmaplicity programs.

In essence, I am not suggesting that you leave this person because most if not all people you meet will tell you this and because you have built up in your mind an absolute terror of being abandoned by this person, it is more important for me to instill a sense of empowerment within you. By this I mean having more control over your own decisions and how you choose to live life.

What you will inevitably notice is that when you begin to apply these strategies, the narcissist will activate and become either more dismissive or more aggressive. there is always a consequence to empowering yourself, so be careful to see the narcissist’s behavior.

Another point to make is this: most if not all people stuck in this cycle of abuse want love from the narcissist, so if you see some warmth and change from them when you start making the changes in yourself you, DO NOT be fooled by their readjustment. This is just to soften you up once again and then start flirting with you.

If I can help in anyway please get in touch and ask whatever you need. The worst thing you can do is suffer alone and the moment you start shedding light on your situation you will recognize that there are many other people struggling with the same condition. Well, you are not alone!!

Vaya Con Dios