If you’re trying to practice the 6 Skills of Intimacy™ in your relationship and they’re not working, or you can’t remember to do them—or you’re not sure how to do them in your situation—that’s so frustrating and discouraging!
You re not the only one.
On The Empowered Wife Podcast, I interview women who have had success transforming their marriages because I want to talk about what’s possible for you and your marriage so you can feel inspired and hopeful.
I invite visitors to share how they did it so you can try the same things. I hold nothing back because I want you to be empowered and make your marriage last and thrive.
But I understand that just knowing what the 6 Intimacy Skills are or just hearing or reading about them is not easy to implement on your own.
Or you might be successful in applying them for an incredible weekend and then get amnesia. Just like I do sometimes.
I get amnesia if I don’t have reminders that I want to maintain my dignity no matter how my husband appears, or that my happiness is my responsibility and that if I overpay my energy bill I’ll turn into Bratty Brat, my unpleasant alter ego.
I need constant reminders that it is such a relief and so much less tiring to focus on myself instead of thinking I know what my husband should do.
Here are four places to get such reminders and banish Skills amnesia.
1. Community
I’m such a fan of our campus community, coaches, coach-in-training, students, and podcast guests because they remind me of who I want to be, how I want to show up.
It’s like Zig Ziglar says: “Some people complain that motivation wears off, like a bath. That’s why we recommend it every day.” And I know many of you read this blog daily for motivation, which is so genius.
Even if you are not a student or coach, any wife and girlfriend can be a member of the free Adored Wife group. It’s a starting point where you can meet the best relationship coaches in the world and find the best next move for your relationship.
Thousands of women who believe a good marriage is important (because it is!) are out there and we’d all love to meet you!
2. Training
I want every woman to have the support of a safe, compassionate coach. It’s like having a fairy godmother.
One of the powerful things about having a coach is how they can help you take your eyes off someone else’s paper and put it back on your own paper just by asking a question.
Or they invite you to see what you do to be happy or how you feel and what your desires are.
And when you get mentored on our campus, you finally start asking yourself the same powerful questions your coach is asking you.
Questions like: “How do you want to appear today? How do you make yourself happy? What is your vision? What is your desire? How did you feel about that interaction?’
I got stronger in my marriage when I could stop pointing out someone else and everything they did wrong and tend to Laura.
When I could see my choices of how I wanted to appear, see where I was exhausting myself trying to control someone else and decide what attitude I wanted to have.
3. The Skills in Your Pocket
I am always thinking of ways that I can provide the structure that is so effective here on campus for every woman who wants to make her marriage last and thrive.
So I created recently The Empowered Wife Workbook and Journal: A Guided Journey to Transforming Your Marriage with the Six Intimacy Skills.
It’s full of prompts and questions to help you take your eyes off someone else’s paper and bring it back entirely on your own. This workbook and journal invites you to look at what you do to be happy.
It asks you to think about how you feel and helps you uncover your true desires, which is the seat of feminine power.
This workbook/diary is the book’s companion The Empowered Wifewhich presents the 6 Intimacy Skills step by step.
Now that we’ve helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships, we’ve learned a thing or two about a thing or two.
And I wanted to put these things in a workbook and a journal. To invite you to do some self-reflection, some self-expression, some dreaming and visualization to practice Intimacy Skills more effectively.
So if you are inspired to take action to become more peaceful, happy and confident, The Empowered Wife Workbook it is another tool for revitalizing your marriage and restoring yourself. It’s a safe, private way to have some important conversations with yourself.
When I was trying to fix my broken marriage, I started helping other women fix their marriages, which was a breakthrough because it made me able to make my marriage better. I could finally be the woman and woman I wanted to be. I developed new habits because I felt like I had the encouragement and supervision of other women who were also hurting in their relationships.
Then their marriages got better too. Then it just kept going and going and it became this mission to end world divorce. The Empowered Wife Workbook and Journal it’s the latest way I’ve been working on this mission.
4. And you
I think you are on this mission too, or you wouldn’t be reading this right now. You are part of this movement that has sprung up around making our marriages last and thrive.
I still feel a responsibility to help as many women as possible make their marriages shine. Thank you for being on this journey with me and helping me have the glowing marriage I have today. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Now that you know about these resources, what is one thing you will do today to create some structure for yourself so you can revitalize your marriage?
By Laura Doyle
