You are in the first few months (or weeks) of a relationship with someone. When you’re together, you can’t keep your hands off each other. When you’re not, you can’t stop thinking about them, fantasizing about them, talking about them.
This is what we call the honeymoon phase or NRE (new relationship energy) – the sexual and romantic excitement that comes with a new connection. However, this feeling doesn’t last forever, and when it fades, your sex life is also likely to change.
If you’re in a somewhat new relationship and have felt your sex life change after the honeymoon phase, read on for tips to help you continue to deepen your relationship – and boost your sex life.
Deepen intimacy outside of sex
As exciting as a new relationship can be, it can understandably come with a feeling of anxiety or uncertainty surrounding the expectations of the relationship and whether or not they will be fulfilled. After the end of the honeymoon phase is an opportunity to create the connection and relationship you want.
Intimacy goes much deeper than sex. Although this is one component of it, intimacy refers to the level of closeness and emotional security you feel with a person. Enhancing overall intimacy will likely help you have a more fulfilling sex life where you’ll be better able to express your needs.
Here are some ways to do this:
- Connect over a shared passion like cooking, playing music, or hiking.
- Take turns massaging each other while communicating exactly where and how you want to be touched.
- Play a card game designed to help you deepen intimacy like “Create the love cards” by podcaster Mark Groves.
Explore new places
As relationships progress, sex may not happen as often or may become repetitive. But just because you’ve found a formula that works, doesn’t mean your exploration has to stop there.
Sexual exploration can mean many things, but the easy way to change things is with new sex positions. Try:
Invest in a game together
Another way to escape sexual failure is to bring reinforcements into the bedroom. And by boosts, we mean a spicy new game. While sex toys are often thought of as just a masturbation tool, they are also tools to enhance sex for all parties involved.
Sex toys can deepen pleasure for both parties, make sex more accessible and bring a fun and playful element to the bedroom. Don’t know where to start? Try:
Go on a “sex hookup”
A great way to get to know each other better while igniting your sex life is to have a “sex” – just what it sounds like. Some vacations revolve around diving, going to games or trying new foods. While these are all wonderful, intercourse focuses on creating moments for you and your partner to have purposeful, sweet, and intimate sexual moments.
If this is a new relationship, this may be your first trip together and you can learn a lot about someone even during a quick weekend trip. By creating space to focus on your intimacy, you’re both saying that it’s a priority. A sex break is more than just a break, it’s about taking time to focus on your relationship, physically and emotionally.
Wondering how to get the most out of your sex? We have some tips for you:
- Set intentions for what you would like from this experience, such as “To slow down and learn more about your body” or “To begin to better communicate my needs and desires.”
- Create fun, light-hearted sex goals, such as having sex on as many surfaces as possible in your living space.
- Have conversations around desires and fantasies that you may not always have time for in your everyday life.
Enjoy the ride
For many people, sex is one of the biggest components of a relationship, especially in the beginning. But the dynamic changes and moving to a new stage in a relationship allows you to evolve in your sex life. Change as the novelty of the new relationship wears off gives you an opportunity to intentionally deepen your connection and grow it. The same goes for your sex life.
Remember that relationships can be a catalyst for growth, a deeper understanding of yourself, and enormous amounts of pleasure. And that’s just the beginning!
