Have you ever met a girl who just blew your heart wide open?
Just thinking about her made your blood boil and your imagination skyrocketed.
Scoring her would be like winning the lottery. It would have fixed all your problems, solved global warming, and lured Tupac into hiding.
And did you finally manage to get the girl of your dreams confused by being too careful? Very available? Too much of a nice guy?
#Me too.
I broke it off with her
As a child, there was a girl I had a crush on.
He came to play volleyball at my school. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. A year later we ended up in the same high school and I finally got up the nerve to ask her out. She said yes!
After school, I would run over to her house to catch up. I was a teenage virgin and scoring the girl of my dreams was an incredible victory. I couldn’t keep my horny paws off her.
After a few weeks, my unbridled teenage libido annoyed her. But I didn’t know what else to do. She started acting aloof and distant. The further away he got, the more insecure I felt.
So I would call her as soon as I got home. “Hey baby how are you? Just check in!” She would sigh, tell me she was fine and we would talk until she went to do her “homework”.
I thought I was a good, considerate friend. But I was bothering her.
After two months he dumped me. And I don’t blame her. The next day I saw her in the hallway kissing the captain of the rugby team. He even smiled at me.
Needy men repel women
It was 100% my fault. I was needy, insecure, jealous and clingy. But looking back, it’s a certain behavior that sealed the nail in that coffin…
I was very sensitive.
No, not vulgar. That would help. I was Touchy.
How Too Much Touch Can Ruin Your Relationship
I couldn’t keep my hands off her. If we weren’t holding hands or hugging, I didn’t feel safe. I couldn’t just hang out without getting my mitts all over her beautiful body.
While it may be natural to explore your woman’s body, hold her tight, give her affection, it sends the monkey brain the wrong message.
In the short term, it feels great for both of you, but in the long run, it ruins her attraction.
Any women reading this are likely to be angry “This is not true my boyfriend touches me all the time and we are in love! I love him!”
I know! Okay. This is for men who aren’t your amazing boyfriend. It’s for the guys who keep getting rejected and being friends. Text me when you dump this guy and we’ll talk.
Too much touch is feminine behavior
Touching, hugging and physical affection (in romance) are inherently feminine.
It’s her job to seek your physical contact. Not yours to offer in abundance.
Look at these images and tell me which one is intuitively correct or incorrect. As a man you know on a deep, instinctual level that you should not rely on your wife.
Because we rely on women
Do you remember when you were a boy? You were playing in the backyard with friends when Billy the Bully punched you in the nose. It didn’t hurt that much, but then mom came and the tears flowed.
He took you and said, “Show me where my boy hurts.”
You pointed, “Here, Mom. It hurts a lot”. You rested your head on her shoulder, smelling the sweetness of her motherly scent, and she hugged you while whispering that everything is going to be okay, and you’re a big boy.
Is this how you want your wife to see you? Like a little boy nursing at his mom’s nipple?
There is a better way, young Jedi.
Women don’t want man-babies. They want a monster.
I’m not saying you can never lean on your wife, just don’t overdo it. We all love touch and affection, but if you act like her child, she’ll treat you like one.
Your girlfriend/wife is not your mom
Leaning on her too much or too often is bad form.
Says:
- You are not experienced with beautiful women
- Her body is a novelty
- You need her mutual contact for validation and security
- You see her as a mother rather than a lover
This leads to our bonus error:
Being very available for her.
Being too available turns women off
Back to my first girlfriend.
I pointed out that if I left her alone, I would lose her. Women are like cats: squeeze too tight, run away.
By constantly checking on her and asking if everything was “okay”, I showed a lot of bad traits like insecurity, doubt, jealousy and neediness.
I didn’t even learn from this lesson. It took many more women to quickly dump me for other MEN. And it wasn’t until I found the seduction community and all their often wrong advice that I finally realized my mistakes.
Tips (friend retention system)
How do you keep a woman happy and safe?
- It’s so nice to wonder where you are.
- It’s great that she misses you.
- No, she MUST wonder where you are, and miss you.
While a man’s liking for a woman grows with time spent together, her liking grows with time apart.
The more time you spend apart, the more she’ll wonder if you’re with other women or why you don’t seem interested. The better you are with girls, the more you’ll hear, “It’s like you don’t care.”
That’s because you don’t care or you’re good at faking it.
It’s not that you don’t care, you just know you’d be fine without her.
It is not Neglect. Necessary
I’m not saying you should neglect or ignore your wife. If you’re not with her at all, then she’s not yours. I say not available 24/7. Take more time for yourself, separately.
While you may feel like you’re careful and caring by always being available, her subconscious attraction to you will plummet.
She won’t even know because she doesn’t care anymore. But it will be your fault. Because you’re such a nice guy.
Be on your mission without women
A man must have a mission in life that does not include his wife.
Whether it’s building a fence, your internet business or your physique. Do something that takes you away to improve yourself, either by yourself or with your tribe of men.
What is the consequence of ignoring this advice?
Suddenly he doesn’t love you and you will have no idea what happened.
You will think, “But I was always there for her. I showered her with attention, massaged her, held her hand, bought her gifts, complimented her, texted her every hour, was never late for our dates…and she dumped me. Women are crazy!”
See this article by a mainstream dating advice column. If a woman is “begging” for your attention, you’re doing it right!
I’m not saying you should “Game” your girlfriend, just act more like a man and less like a man.
She needs time alone – even if she doesn’t know it
I always tell my girlfriends that I’m not a big shipper, I work a lot and we don’t need to be together every day. And most women are totally fine with that.
I find they like to have instructions so they don’t have to wonder. “Okay, he hangs out 2/3/5 days a week, Tuesday is work, Saturday is game night.”
Spending time away from your girls doesn’t mean you don’t care. It’s the opposite: it means you care A LOT and want your time together to be special, not cheap.
He wants to follow your lead
He must follow you. She does not want to be followed, not physically, not metaphorically, not spiritually.
That doesn’t mean it can’t teach you things or lead you down new paths. But she should never feel that you need her more than she needs you.
By always being available and always sensitive, you are declaring yourself low-value, soft, needy and weak.
She won’t even realize she’s losing her attraction to you. He’ll just wake up one day and think… “I feel nothing but annoyed by him. The nicer and more attentive he is, the more I dislike being with him. I’m out.”
How much affection is enough?
Look, I LOVE hugs. I love holding hands, kissing, cuddling, caressing, pushing, sucking…all of it. And I’m sure you do too.
But this is not about our needs. This is for her, and she keeps her attraction up so she doesn’t leave us for the milkman.
There is no arbitrary rule about how often or how much of your time and physical attention you should give to your wife.
Study other men with their wives.
Are there any men you admire? Men who get along great with women? Or do they have faithful wives, girlfriends or wives around them?
Do the women really look happy or is it a front? Does she disrespect him in public? Or is she calm, collected and fair? Does she look to him for guidance or does she drive the relationship like it’s her car?
Watch how these guys act around their women. How much do they touch and when? How much affection and attention do they give them? How much time do they spend with them? Pay attention.
Now take a moment to look back at some of your dating failures and ask yourself: Did I screw this up? After all, it was ME and not her?
