One of the most disheartening aspects of modern dating is the prevalence of ghosting – the act of suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without explanation. To help you navigate the unpredictable world of dating and avoid the frustration of ghosting, look out for these early warning signs that someone you’ve matched with might be a ghost in disguise:
1. Past behavior predicts future actions
You’ve probably heard the saying, “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.” This adage also applies in the context of dating. When evaluating someone’s potential to become a ghost, pay close attention to their past actions. If they openly admit to ghosting someone in the past, that’s the number one way to gauge the likelihood of it happening again. This admission, combined with whether they express regret for their past actions, can provide valuable insights into their future behavior.
2. Confirm Dates: A sign of respect
Respecting one’s time is a fundamental aspect of dating etiquette. Confirming a date shows that you value your date time and that you take the connection seriously. On the other hand, if someone doesn’t believe in confirming a date or only agrees to meet up if they “feel it” at the last minute, it can signal a lack of empathy and respect for your time. This casual approach to programming can be an early indication of possible ghosting.
3. Start the DTR conversation
The time of the Define the Relationship (DTR) conversation can provide a window into a person’s attachment style. Those who avoid starting “the talk” may have a fear of commitment or a preference for keeping their options open. Ghosting tends to be more prevalent among people who are reluctant to make commitments. Their reluctance to define the relationship can be a warning sign of potential ghosts.
4. Handling Changes to Plans
Ghosting before the first date is a common occurrence. When a connection has not yet progressed to the emotional stage, there may be less incentive to continue plans. Understanding how someone manages their schedule and handles last-minute changes or frequent changes of plans can help you gauge their level of excitement and commitment to the date, and thus how much stock to put into it. date that will happen or in the development of the relationship.
5. Direct or Indirect Communication
How someone prefers to enter into a relationship can provide clues to their communication style. A direct approach, where they prefer a clear break-up conversation, indicates openness and a willingness to address issues head-on. On the other hand, someone who favors phasing out may be struggling with confrontation or may be signaling their intention to become a ghost. Understanding these forms of communication is essential to correctly interpret their circumstances and not to waste your time if they reappear after ghosting.
6. Presenting appointments to friends
The act of introducing a date to your friends can provide a glimpse into the person’s level of commitment and responsibility. Ghosting is most common when two people do not share social relationships. Someone prone to ghosting is unlikely to introduce a date into their social circle, as this would create additional points of connection and potential exposure of their past ghosting behavior.
