And above all these virtues clothe love, which unites them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:14
Have you ever found yourself in one of these situations in your marriage?
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Disagree about whose career should be a priority? Or realizing that each of you thought that would anyone else watch the kids?
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Wondering how you’re going to get it all done, even if you’re eating an all-nighter or fueling up on caffeine?
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Do you silently resent the other person because you think you are working harder than he/she is?
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Do you wish you could have more God-centered conversations or long to pray with each other in a meaningful way?
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Are you drifting apart day by day, year by year, but longing to be a united, happy, fully in love couple?
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Do you fear for your children’s future because life at home is confusing or chaotic?
Maybe you want something better than the status quo. Congratulations! You are a leading, intelligent and wise couple who want the BEST for your life and love! You are a committed couple and your decision to be proactive will bless and build your marriage, family and future!
We have seen the power of being proactive in marriage. Our new book for couples: Marriage Meet Ups The 52-Week Devotional Planner for Couples Who Want More Passion, Purpose, and Productivity was written to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary and has continued to be the “secret sauce” of our stable, unified, and happy marriage now as we celebrate our 44th year! We highly recommend this process because our weekly strategy sessions have kept us on the same page, pulling in the same direction together since we were newlyweds over four decades ago! Our weekly, “Monday Morning Wedding Meeting” held it Aha. at our wedding.
We used a well-honed and practiced template for our weekly “business meeting for our love” but it was during the Covid “enforced pause” that we wrote our plan into a book for you that includes our weekly worksheets, plus the best of the dedicated and practical resources we’ve used to stay connected, in love, and productive! We’ve also added many additional resources that have helped us grow a strong family even as we live full, busy and focused lives. We also share the ‘backstage pass’ with useful tips that make us laugh, enjoy life and most of all – overcome obstacles, creatively deal with conflicts and deal with difficult transitions together!
So what are the three vital ingredients to keep AHA in your love?
ONEbehaviors
Habits
ONEattestations
Stops: We include in our weekly meeting the attitudes that (1) We are better together and (2) We are better with God at the center. Because of this, we begin and end our marriage meetings with prayer. Also, we each bring a verse that God has brought to each of our paths and we share them with each other and often pray these verses over each other.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” (Phil 2:5).
Habits: As part of the wedding meeting, we have to deal with the business side of life: calendars and schedules, discussions about finances and projects and priorities—and of course—the kids! There is a place in the template to track items from week to week so that vital priorities don’t fall through the cracks. In conclusion, we each decide who does what and take responsibility for those tasks. One reason this works is that we have created a habit of positivity. We decide, then delegate, then trust our partner to follow as God leads and THANK him for taking on that part of the load.
“Be very careful therefore how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.” (Eph 5:15-16)
Certificates: We alternate tasks and important conversations between encouragement and affirmations. At the beginning, after praying for each other, we give a word of gratitude and appreciation for something our partner did or for an attitude or action he expressed last week. This creates a more pleasant and positive atmosphere. At the end of our meeting, we also give a positive affirmation or thank you for something said, grace or mercy given during the meeting! And to make this meeting one we can both look forward to, we’ve also set the date and time that week for romance and “red hot monogamy.” By making intimacy a priority, both husband and wife tend to be kinder, kinder, more encouraging. And more collaborative!
“Kind words are honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24)
The reward
We know that our emotions follow our decisions, so part of being in love with your spouse is finding a way to make great choices together. We are convinced that couples who have weekly Wedding Meeting I will:
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Gain insight into how your spouse likes to live — and love.
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Have productive conversations that minimize conflict, reduce stress, and increase your level of enjoyment of love and life.
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Make decisions together that maximize emotional, spiritual and physical connection.
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Improve conversations about money and financial choices.
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Increase productivity so everyone gets more done at work, home or ministry.
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Delegate well so things don’t fall through the cracks of a busy life.
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Cultivate your relationship and create more time for the happy side of marriage, romance and intimacy.
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Proceeded together in unity and create a stable and kind home for your children (and increased joy for your grandchildren)
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Strengthen your spiritual life together as you draw closer to God and your partner.
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Protect the fun side of marriage and family life with focused problem-solving sessions.
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Avoid burying issues or neglecting vital (but sometimes boring or more volatile) issues.
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Replace negative, dysfunctional patterns with healthier, positive and affirming ways of interacting.
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Navigate family, parenting, and marital responsibilities with clarity and appreciation.
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Make sure there is “couple time” even in these difficult or hectic weeks.
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Achieve more goals and cultivate a personal sense of accomplishment.
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Navigate life’s typical transitions, storms, and obstacles in a more godly way.
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Develop habits that protect your long-term love.
Are some of the desires in your heart?
God will help you! We’ve seen these every week Marriage Meet Ups work well to move couples – ourselves included – onward, upward, and forward toward creating the marriage you’ve hoped and dreamed of having.
Love does not consist in looking at each other, but in looking out together in the same direction. –Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Pam and Bill Farrell are international speakers, relationship coaches and authors of 59 books, including bestsellers Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti (over 350,000 sold in English and translated into 15 languages) and Marriage Meet Ups Engagement design for couples who want more passion, purpose and productivity. Many additional freebies, (handouts, worksheets, videos, audios) are posted at Love-Wise Marriage Meet Up Page. They make their home on a liveaboard docked in southern California. Bill is a graduate of Talbot School of Theology at Biola University. Learn more about Bill and Pam at Love-Wise.com
