Signs that a relationship is over | Jealousy
Jealousy is really a symptom of a bigger problem – low self-confidence and self-esteem.
When you’re jealous, you’re really saying that you’re afraid your partner will leave you for someone else. Why;
Because you don’t believe one of two things: you’re not good enough for him or you don’t deserve him.
In both cases, your self-esteem is low and causing you problems.
Of course, jealousy can also stem from trust issues, but more often than not it has to do with you and your level of confidence and self-esteem.
Confidence comes into play when you don’t feel confident in your ability to either create or maintain a healthy relationship. You have had so many failed relationships in the past and this will be just one more. So it’s only a matter of time before he finds someone else.
Jealousy often breaks up a couple before the jealous person can identify and fix the low self-esteem problem, but once you see it, you can and should fix it before starting another relationship.
You may even find that you have a pattern of feeling jealous in relationships. This is a huge red flag.
Of course, the flip side of this is being with a man who is jealous, so his confidence and self-esteem are low. You find him driving when you have lunch with your friends. He claims he was in the area, but you know he was checking to see if you were where you said you would be.
Or you discover that he is tracking you through your phone or other tracking device.
No matter who has the jealousy problem, it’s one of those signs that a relationship is over.
You build walls, not bridges
Sammi and Joe had been together for many years and had some beautiful children to show for it, but little by little, they were building walls instead of bridges.
Joe would stay at work later and when he got home, he would spend hours outside or in the basement, away from Sammy and the kids. After the kids went to bed, and sometimes even before, if Joe was home, Sammy would go into their bedroom to work instead of spending time in the same space as Joe.
This is wall building. You separate yourselves from each other instead of trying to build bridges or intimacy between you. When you build bridges, you share experiences and develop more intimacy through those experiences. When you build walls, you put physical or emotional barriers between you.
Walls can be very hard to tear down once built. They can lead to disagreements and resentment at the most extreme and least emotional distance.
Signs that a relationship is over | You’re not having sex
Physical touch is a very powerful bonding agent. When you are in love, you want to touch your partner and you want to have sex.
Now the exception to this is if you both have agreed to abstain from sex until you get married. This is not a problem as long as you are both on the same page.
The problem is for couples who have had sex and then it drops to nothing or close to it.
You might justify it with things like being too tired or staying late at work to avoid being there when your partner goes to bed. Some parents will use the cradle with a child and then forget to leave before going to sleep from there.
No matter how you cover it, a lack of sexual intimacy in a relationship is a big sign that a relationship is over.
This is a wrap!
There are probably as many signs that a relationship is over as there are couples, but these are the signs that appear most often.
What you may notice is that in many cases, if both of you are willing to seek counseling, the relationship can turn around.
It all depends on how much you want the relationship to succeed and whether you are both willing to seek this advice. If any of you are not, it is still one of the signs.
If you recognize some of these signs in your own relationship, it’s time to evaluate what it is you want for yourself, and then communicate that with your partner. It is very likely that he feels that the same things you are doing are wrong and you can move on from there.