Sex and mental health: How could it affect me?

Sex and mental health can be tricky to navigate – here’s what you need to know

Although you might not think about it, mental health is very much connected to sex. Your mental state can affect your body image, your ability to connect with a partner, and even whether you want to have sex.

Body image

Struggling with yours body image it can make everyday tasks very difficult, such as eating, socializing with friends or deciding what to wear. So, of course, it can also affect how intimate we feel with someone. It can be hard to relax with someone and enjoy intimacy when you’re feeling anxious, low, or negative about your appearance. This can include more specific issues such as anxiety about penis size, your weight, any scars or acne, or anything that makes you feel “less attractive”.

YoungMinds has a few great tips for improving your body imageif you struggle with this.

Connect with a partner

Talking openly about your mental health with a partner can be difficult, but it’s necessary in a healthy relationship. By talking to your partner, you can let them know how you feel and why you struggle with intimacy. This applies to long-term and casual partners. Just because a relationship isn’t long term or exclusive doesn’t mean you can’t talk about your wants and needs with a partner.

If you’re not in the mood for sex at all, that’s okay and completely normal. What we want and how much we want it can change. Opening the line of communication will let your partner know that this isn’t a reflection on them, it’s just how you feel right now.

There are many ways to connect with your partner through intimacy without sex. Cuddling on the couch, holding hands, or even just checking in on how your partner is doing are all examples of intimacy, whether it’s physical or emotional. You don’t owe anyone sex and you shouldn’t be made to feel the way you do either.

Sexuality

Discovering your sexuality can be a stressful and isolating process, which can also affect your mental health. Figuring out who you are takes time, and you won’t always feel that way. If you’re looking for specific LGBTQ+ support, please get in touch Switchboard for advice.

You don’t have to come out before you’re ready, but talking about it with someone you trust can really help. Your sexuality and feelings are valid, regardless of whether you’ve had LGBTQ+ experiences or not.

Libido

Libido is another word for one’s sex drive or desire for sex. It can very easily be affected by your mental health and/or medication, although not always. Anxiety, stress and depression can all cause it loss of libido or low sex drive.

But it’s important to remember that our bodies are constantly changing. They change a lot during adolescence, and our brains are still developing in our early 20s. Even beyond that, our body and mental health will change depending on what happens in our lives. So what looks like a constant low sex drive won’t necessarily always be. That doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating to experience right now.

Our advice

Research the side effects of your birth control/medication – Talk to your doctor about the medications that will best suit your body.

Think of ways to feel better about yourself – Spending time with people who make you feel positive about your body can go a long way. Talking to someone you trust can also help. Many people struggle with their body image at some point in their lives, you are not alone.

TALK TO YOUR PARTNER – If you are in a relationship (long-term or casual), there may be things your partner can do to make you feel more comfortable. Even just talking about it can help, make you feel understood and know you’re both on the same page.

What dynamics do you have sex in and does it help you? – Whether it’s casual sex, friends with benefits, sex in a long-term relationship, monogamous or not, take the time to think about whether this is right for you. Does it affect your mental health? What worked before may not work now. Our needs and desires change!

Check in with yourself properly about whether you want to have sex – if you’re not in the mood, that’s okay. If you’re not in the mood regularly, that’s okay. No one should pressure you into sex. We know it can be very complicated to say no to someone, especially if you have feelings for them. We also know that sometimes the pressure can feel like it’s coming from ourselves. there can be this idea of ​​’normal’, which suggests how often, with whom and how we ‘should’ have sex. There is no “normal way to have sex”! But this inner conflict can still be hard to feel. If you struggle to feel pressured about sex, seek support. You don’t have to manage it yourself.

If you need more urgent mental health support from a trained professional, Scream has a 24/7 confidential messaging service. Just text “Shout” to 85258.

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