As a sex worker, very few of the problems I have encountered are solely related to the work I do. Often times, the crap I – and others – have to deal with is part of a bigger problem.
Talks about pornophobia: the judgment and negative stereotypes associated with people who do sex work. Pornophobia permeates all aspects of my life as a sex professional. The laws that try to control what I do, the way my work is described in the media, the attitude of people around me – all of these are shaped by these negative judgments. And for someone who just wants to put their head down (SO pun intended) and get the job done, it’s a real pain. Pornophobia is often cited as the most difficult aspect of sex work.
Now, I could write pages and pages about the ways in which the stigma of sex work is used to justify the unfair treatment of people in my industry. Discrimination, censorship, judgment and harassment affect sex workers worldwide. Both historically and today, pornophobia has been used by government and law enforcement to target a number of vulnerable groups: people from the queer community, transgender people, disabled people, black people, immigrants and many other marginalized people.
But today I want to step back, zoom out and see a bigger picture. Because I think there are a lot of non-workers out there who just don’t really see that pornophobia is affecting them. People who are not necessarily marginalized have never considered doing sex work and may not know anything ‘outside’ of sex work.
Are you? If you’re reading this right now and thinking, “Hey, there are bigger problems in the world,” I’d like to change your mind. Because pornophobia affects us all, whether you realize it or not.
At its most basic, pornophobia is an irrational jumble of negative ideas about sex work
Also known as sex work stigma, it includes well-established but incorrect assumptions. Things like “all sex workers are women” and “they’re just selling sex”. These ideas sit alongside more negative tropes such as “sex work is coercive” and “all sex workers are victims of abuse”. Some people may associate sex work with drug addiction. They assume we’re all drug users, molested as children, or “pimped” by abusive partners—stereotypes that disrespect people in any profession who use drugs, struggle with past trauma, or are victims of domestic violence.
The assumption that sex workers must be either victims or morally deficient leads to some seriously terrible results for those of us who choose this line of work. An individual worker’s experience of stigma depends on their location and background—workers at increasingly marginalized intersections often have a very different experience than those with more resources and privilege. This means that the harm done to us can be as simple as ostracism from friends and family or as traumatic as imprisonment, deportation and physical violence. By painting us as victims, sex work stigma makes us vulnerable to community predation. And by suggesting that our work is morally wrong, governments feel empowered to lock us up, take away our children, and perpetuate an endless cycle of systemic violence that can lead to our deaths.
Punophobia also has an impact on the wider community. There are three areas I would like to talk about: gender equality, bodily autonomy and social stability. In all of these spheres, sex worker prosecution affects you, whether you do the work or not.
The stigma of sex work is a huge barrier to gender equality
Sex workers’ rights are human rights and the feminist movement must include sex workers. The NSWP put it best when they said: “Ultimately, there can be no gender equality if the human rights of sex workers are not fully recognized and protected.”
Pornophobia is also detrimental to gender equality in general. Many stereotypes about sex work reinforce gender norms. For example, that women don’t like sex and have to be forced into it. Or that men are creepy, desperate, sexual predators. Then, of course, there’s “slut shaming” – the rubbish idea that people, especially women, who have “a lot” of sex are broken or damaged.
All of this reinforces rape culture, telling us that sex is a commodity that women must protect and that men are allowed to take. And these rigid ideas of what men and women “really” look like are heteronormative, boring, and designed to limit all of us in how we behave, how we express ourselves, and what we do.
Pornophobia stifles your physical (and sexual) autonomy
Amnesty International defines bodily autonomy as: “Being able to make our own decisions about our health, body and sex life”. When we discuss bodily autonomy, we often include issues such as abortion, contraception, and LGBTQIA+ rights. But when it comes to sex work, people are often strangely reluctant to apply the same principles. Suddenly, these same feminists who so strongly support a person’s right to have an abortion do not support their right to choose who they have sex with if they charge for it.
Often, it’s about society’s discomfort with “deviant” sex. Sexual activities that repel us—such as conflict, queerness, and sex work—are not treated with the same fairness as other issues of bodily control. There’s a double standard: you’re allowed to do whatever you want with your body, unless it’s something others disapprove of. This affects you if you’re into any kind of sexy stuff that isn’t “straight” and “missionary”. Are you experimenting with bisexuality? Be careful! Curious about kink? No, no ok. Sex work is seen as a big, bad example, and the message is, “you’re only allowed to have the sex you choose if we say it’s okay.” If you think this is bullshit…well, I do too.
It is ironic. Sex workers are actually responsible for pushing sex positivity into the world. We teach our clients about consent, de-stigmatize their desires, and provide a safe place for them to explore. And we are at the forefront of asserting our bodily autonomy! Even Amnesty International recognizes the right of sex workers to do our jobs without persecution. As long as pornophobia exists, true bodily autonomy will always be out of reach for many, if not most, people.
As long as sex work is stigmatized, our families or our communities, our society, suffer!
It is often suggested by conservatives that sex workers and other people considered sexually deviant are undermining the “moral fabric of society” and disrupting the nuclear family. In fact, the opposite is true – the stigma of sex work is often used to drive a wedge into families and destabilize parts of society.
Prosecuting sex workers diverts a lot of money that could be used by communities to improve their safety and quality of life. A classic example of this is the particular way the United States operates around its refusal to distinguish between sex work and actual cases of sex trafficking – meaning billions are wasted targeting independent providers while the real victims are either overlooked or treated like criminals.
Even in places where sex work is not outright criminalized, the stigma can tear apart families and communities. Pornophobia gives leverage to abusive family members and partners: if someone is accused of being a sex worker, they can then be ostracized or attacked, often without consequence. An abusive spouse may be able to hold this over his head, threaten to “out” him to others, or try to use this information in court during custody disputes. Let’s face it: our angst about sex workers causes far more social discord than the work itself ever could.
You don’t have to be a sex worker to care about these things.
You may not be an escort or a stripper, but if you’ve ever been judged based on your gender, been too scared to have the sex you really wanted, or dealt with an abusive partner or family member, how we spread pornophobia Our communities have probably had an impact on you , whether you knew it or not.
The antidote to all of this is simply respect. For people who are different and for those who choose to do things with their bodies that you may find strange or uncomfortable. We need to break pornophobia where it exists – from our families, to our media, to our political systems. We must prevent it from poisoning not only the lives of marginalized people and workers themselves, but also our wider society.
Only then will we have fair and just communities where everyone feels empowered to be themselves, have all the sexy, consensual adventures their hearts desire, and build stable, secure families and relationships. I think that’s a goal we can all get excited about.
Author: Georgie Wolfe
Georgie is a Melbourne escort, author and sex educator from Melbourne, Australia. She is the founder of the Satisfaction Project, an online guide for escort clients.
