New Year’s challenge, even in February

With the New Year’s race now over, we can still look back and hope we don’t make the same mistakes we did last year. It’s not late! But we must do more than hope. We have to put in more effort to make our “hopes” come true. This is the New Year’s challenge for you, even in February. Be intentional about looking back and then pushing forward to grow – not just hoping you don’t fall back into old “mistakes.”

It’s really healthy to approach each year like this. And it’s equally healthy to face such challenges even when you’re well into the next year. Who wants to be stuck with a negative failure year after year? How can you grow your marriage in a positive, loving, connected direction if you continue to drag your negative habits with you?

Didn’t you get married to grow your love for each other? So make it your New Year’s challenge, even in February, and your ongoing mission to keep working on your love story. Don’t let this year roll in negativity and neglect. Go back to or stay in your “first love” relationship with each other. but also make it an ever-growing “new and improved” love affair.

THE NEW YEAR’S CHALLENGE

In this New Year’s Challenge, the following points are written by William Arthur Ward. They point out some “mistakes to avoid”. William’s advice is capital. But we’ve also added scriptures, as well as some marriage advice below them. We hope they inspire you in the ways you need.

This year (and beyond), the following are some MISTAKES TO AVOID. Avoid transporting:

• “Regrets for yesterday’s failures”

Here’s a perspective to embrace:

“…I don’t consider myself to have made it yet. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and pressing on to what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me in heaven in Christ Jesus.

“All of us, therefore, who are mature, must have such a view of things. And if at some point you think differently, God will make it clear to you.“(Philippians 3:13-15)

We all suffer from regrets. But what you do with them is important. Are you examining them and working with God to learn through them? And do you learn and grow in spite of this? Keep in mind that it is not so much what we live, but what we learn and grow. (Have you heard this one before?) It is important to work with God to redeem it, which could destroy us and/or our marriage.

Then avoid transferring:

• “Anxiety about today’s problems”

“Who among you by worrying can add an hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27) “Cast all your stress on him because he cares about you.“(1 Peter 5:7)

Worrying about your problems won’t solve them. It will only complicate them. Instead, offer them to God and release them as best you can. When the worry starts to resurface, keep offering it to God. Pray for wisdom, strength and whatever help you need.

And then here is another difficult mistake to avoid. It is especially difficult because we live in such uncertain times. Avoid the mistake of transferring:

• “Concern about the uncertainty of tomorrow”

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Every day has enough of its own problem.“(Matthew 6:34)

If you are anxious about the worry of tomorrow, you are taking on too heavy a load. Ask God to show you what to do with everything you have in front of you today. It’s not that you shouldn’t think about tomorrow at all, but don’t let it rob you of the strength you need to face today. Take one day at a time. Don’t burden your marriage and your life with worries you shouldn’t be carrying.

We remember something Peter Jenkins said many years ago as he walked from coast to coast across America. He was asked by a reporter how he was able to find the strength to do so. Here’s what he said,

“I don’t look at the big picture. This is very scary. I look at what is right in front of me for this day. I do what it takes to be prepared and take my first step. So I begin the journey, taking the first step and then another and another. I take it one step at a time and in the end, I’m amazed at how far I can go as I look back.”

We hope that for you as you release the uncertainties ahead. Do not:

• “Waste the opportunity of the moment”

“Therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink. or for your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? (Matthew 6:25)

This sounds easier than it actually is. We get it. We struggle with the same dilemma (in different ways). But it’s better to put our energies into that, which we CAN change, rather than allowing ourselves to keep drifting to feed our pity party.

Don’t allow today’s problems to sabotage you and your marriage’s potential growth. And watch out:

• “Adjourn with the present duty”

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw away everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race that marked us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, that you may not grow weary and be discouraged.“(Hebrews 12:1-3)

Do not allow your spouse’s or anyone else’s bad behavior to alter your standards of how you should behave. As the old saying goes, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

The Bible tells us, “If I don’t understand what someone is saying, I am a stranger to that person. And this person is a stranger to me.” (1 Corinthians 14:11)

Right now, your spouse may be treating you as a stranger in many ways. Must not be. But it is what it is. Ask God to give you wisdom on how to deal with this (strange) stranger and proceed as He directs. “The heart of the seer acquires knowledge. the ears of the wise seek it.“(Proverbs 18:15)

Regarding your “present duty”: “Apply your heart to teaching and your ears to words of knowledge.“ (Proverbs 23:12)

Also, don’t fall into the trap:

• “Disbelief in God’s Providence”

“Just as you do not know the path of the wind or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Creator of all things.“ (Ecclesiastes 11:5)

If you are experiencing “Storms of doubt”, is very understandable. We all face them at various times in our lives and marriages. My husband Steve and I have dealt with them many times. But then (sometimes long then) as we can look back, we see God’s fingerprints all over our lives. We just couldn’t see it at the time. However, we have lived long enough to know to look for “gentle lights” when “Doubts” cloud our vision.

You should know that there are hailstorms. There are storms. And there are storms. Max Lucado talks about these in his book, In the Eye of the Storm.

He says:

“Storms are those turbulent days when the enemy is too great, the task too great, the future too bleak, and the answers too few. But then there are the soft lights.

“Gentle Lights… God’s solutions to storms… no lightning… no bursts of light… just soft lights… visible evidence of the invisible hand. They’re gentle reminders that optimism isn’t just for fools.

“When God comes,” we doubters believe, “all pain will be gone.” Life will be calm, and there will be no questions left.’ But because we are looking for the fire, we miss the candle. Because we hear the shout, we miss the whisper. But it is in the burning candles that God comes. And through whispered promises he speaks: “When in doubt, look around. I’m closer than you think.”

Keep the faith, even when you and/or your spouse are facing:

Hidden Things

God tells us in the Bible in Daniel 2:22, “It is He who reveals the deep and hidden things. He who knows what is in the dark. And light dwells with Him.“Hope, like an anchor, is fixed in the invisible and in whatever light we can envision and see.

We need to seek His Light and trust Him through the darkness we encounter—through the Doubts.

If you are facing or will face a “storm of doubt” we are praying for you. We encourage you to seek God’s light in the darkness. And don’t give up the search. It is there. Trust and keep looking and you will see. And when you do, there will be enough light to see the path you are on and the next step you need to take as well. And then you’ll see the next one and then the next one as it reveals where you’re going.

Consider the words spoken in the Bible as a reminder of God’s love and care for us. When all seems dark, ask yourself, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion for the child she gave birth to? Though he may forget, I will not forget you!“(Isaiah 49:15)

God has not forgotten you and will never forget you (no matter what the enemy of our faith tries to convince us).

Cooperation with God

May your New Year be blessed, even in February and beyond. This year, may we work with God to do all we can to be the wife He has ordained us to be and reflect the love of Christ in every way possible. May we face this New Year’s Challenge together to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them! This is our hope for all of us.

In closing, with a bit of humor intended, we share with you the following challenge (author unknown):

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a beautiful and well-preserved body, but rather to slip into the broad, exhausted, utterly worn-out and loudly proclaim — WOW! What a ride and thank you Jesus!!!”

We hereby pray:

“May the Lord direct your heart to the love of God and the perseverance of Christ.“ (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

Cindy and Steve Wright

– ADDITIONALLY –

To help you further, we give many personal stories, humor and more practical advice in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to grow your marriage. We hope you’ll pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both online and in print.) Plus, it makes a great gift for someone else. It gives you an opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or image below:

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