Whether they’re looking for love or a casual date, 3 in 10 U.S. adults say they’ve used a dating website or app — with mixed experiences, a Pew Research Center study found Thursday. For the under-35 set, more than half have tried it.
The overall figure, which stands at 30 percent, is unchanged from 2019, the last time the center took a broad look at online dating. In 2015, 15 percent of US adults said they had used a dating website or app, said lead researcher Colleen McClain.
“When we talk to users who have been to the sites more recently, we see that there’s really a mix of feelings,” he said.
“Everything from exhaustion to elation.”
Among the study’s key takeaways for McClain: 1 in 10 adults who have a partner said they met their current significant other on a dating website or app. The number rises to 1 in 5 for people under 30.
Asked about their reasons for using the platforms, 44 percent of current or recent users had a long-term partner in mind, with 40 percent saying they wanted to date comfortably.
24% were looking for casual sex and 22% were looking for new friends.
Using dating sites and apps is most popular among adults under 30, Pew said, with 53 percent saying they have. That compares with 37 percent of 30- to 49-year-olds. 20 percent of those 50 to 64. and 13 percent of those 65 and older.
Atlanta firefighter Andy Giron, 33, is among the pleasantly surprised. He said he had always considered digital dating “a bit weird” until recently.
Giron had just gotten out of a long-term relationship in 2019 when he decided to try Tinder for some casual dating.
This didn’t work after a few times, but he did hit gold on Hinge shortly after.
“My wife was my first Hinge date,” he said.
“She was so easy to talk to and we had a lot in common. There was an instant connection when we first met in person.”
The two married six months later, shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Now they have a one-year-old daughter. Giron was inspired to turn to online dating by his sister, who found her husband the same way.
“I always thought you had to meet someone normally, in person, but that’s the way the world is now,” Giron said.
Across all age groups, 51 percent of lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults have used a dating website or app.
Men are more likely than women to report positive experiences with digital dating, 57 percent vs. 48 percent, and LGB users are more likely than women to say the same, 61 percent vs. 53 percent.
White or black adults who have used one of the platforms are more likely than Hispanic users to say their experiences were negative.
The number of men who used dating websites or apps in the past year and said casual sex was the main reason was 18 percentage points higher than female users who said the same.
The Pew research is based on a survey of about 6,000 US adults conducted between July 5 and 17 of last year.
Online dating experiences were mixed, with 53 percent saying they were at least somewhat positive.
14 percent said they were very positive and 48 percent said their experiences included at least one of the four undesirable behaviors explored in the study.
38 percent of those who reported negative experiences said they received unsolicited sexual messages or images, and 30 percent reported unwanted constant contact. 24 percent said they were called an offensive name and 6 percent said they were physically threatened.
Female users were more likely to report such experiences, especially those under the age of 50.
Like Giron, 22-year-old Liv Loughlin, a marketing associate at a tech company in San Jose, California, had just ended a long-term relationship when she first tried digital dating last September.
“I wanted to jump into it, especially to meet people because I was new to the area,” she said.
“My first date on a dating app was on Hinge and it was crazy. He was immediately very, very emotional and there were all these sexual undertones in everything he said. … I ended up on bail.”
But Loughlin didn’t give up. She returned to Bumble and is now happily in a relationship with a man she met there.
“I thought I had hit rock bottom and there was nowhere to go but up,” he said.
Security is a big concern for some digital daters. There have been calls over the years for more protections, such as required background checks, in light of reported stalking and sexual assault and other violence. Few websites require such checks from every user.
“We see that Americans are divided on this,” McClain said. “Forty-eight percent say dating sites are a safe way to meet people. A very similar share, 49 percent, say they are unsafe.”
The majority said overall that dating sites and apps should require people to undergo background checks.
Stacy Overcamp, 58, an unemployed marketing professional, knows the risks firsthand. Been dating since about 1998, with several contacts that led to relationships over the years.
“I’ve never had a problem meeting men online. I had a problem meeting quality men online,” said Overcamp, of suburban San Francisco.
A long-term relationship ended in stalking, harassment and a restraining order, she said. Other men she dated turned out to be broke, drug users or liars. However, she remains active as her priorities have shifted to marriage.
Overcamp estimates 30 or 40 contacts per month.
“It would have taken me five years to talk to and connect with so many men if I wasn’t online,” she said.
Pew studied eight sites and apps. Tinder was the most commonly used, with 46 percent of digital daters saying they had tried it. That’s 14 percent of all US adults.
About 10 percent of US adults said they had used Match or Bumble. 6% said they had tried OkCupid, eharmony and Hinge.
Grindr and HER were significantly more popular among lesbian, gay, or bisexual online dating users than straight users. About 34 percent of LGB users said they had tried Grindr, and 10 percent said they had tried HER.
