This topic today is a conversation that needs to be discussed, but often isn’t: Is Jealousy Becoming a Negotiator in Your Relationship?
We are often jealous in our partnership when something has changed in our personal relationship and we are not meeting our needs. When you don’t feel seen or heard by your partner, it causes jealous insecurities to surface, the bond you share feels broken, and if left to fester, this problem could eventually collapse your relationship.
Jealousy can arise when a relationship becomes complacent. Unfortunately, some people become apathetic and put romance on the back burner. If your partner stops putting energy into cultivating intimacy and love between you as a couple, it causes self-esteem insecurities that they lose attraction to you.
Relationships go through many stages over the years.
If you want it to stay in a stable and healthy place in your partnership, you need to communicate your feelings consistently. Couples lose their way when they don’t focus on the importance of sharing their thoughts regularly. Don’t exclude your partner, always talk to him about everything.
Most problems can be solved quickly if you open up to each other before these little things escalate into much bigger issues! Your partner may notice subtle changes in your body language or mood, but they can’t read your mind to understand what you’re internalizing. You owe it to each other to express your feelings, so your partner isn’t left in the dark trying to figure out what’s ailing your relationship.
Life has many ups and downs and we are not always happy with where we are emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. We change every 7 years and that can be hard to deal with. It not only affects the replacement of cells in our body, it affects our life in many ways!
Jealousy is often an insecurity we feel inside when dealing with personal changes we may not be happy with. We may not like our jobs, our health may be compromised, or we may feel unattractive due to weight gain or big birthday landmark approaching. It can also be hormonal changes that cause our emotions to control our actions or mindset.
What are some of the jealous feelings you may be dealing with:
- Insecurity – You don’t feel worthy of your partnership because of where your life is at the moment.
- Fear – You have feelings that your relationship is not going to last.
- Suspect – Trust has changed in your partnership. When you stop trusting your partner, it’s not always an easy road back. Something has changed to make you feel insecure about the bond you share with them.
- Grudge – They handle their life much better than how you handle yours. Things are happening for them and you feel unbalanced as a couple.
- Anger – This is a pent-up emotion in your relationship caused by ignoring the big picture. What has changed to make you jealous? You must share this with your partner.
- Envy – Things seem to fall into place for your partner, while you feel like you’re falling behind. They seem to attract and manifest everything they want towards them, which makes you feel anxious.
- Reactive – You become very defensive towards them because of anything that makes you jealous of your partner. You lash out with sarcastic comments or criticism. You want to knock them off theirs a little bit happy life pedestal.
Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship!
Nothing good ever comes from being jealous. Something is making you feel uneasy, and when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head in your relationship, it’s time to figure out why. You should always be able to discuss your fears or any changes you notice with your partner. Hoping that these feelings will go away on their own will cause you to remain in this prolonged jealous state of mind. As a couple, you need to get to the bottom of what happened to bring out these new feelings.
How do you prevent jealousy from happening in your relationship?
- Communicate any feelings of jealousy or emotional conflict when they arise. Don’t bury your thoughts and hope they will go away on their own.
- Listen to each other and respect any concerns you both have.
- Keep a journal of every time you feel any jealousy towards your partner. This will help give you and your partner a clear understanding of what is causing these feelings when you share it with them.
- Include each other in any new goals or adventures. You may not always progress in life at the same time, so always include them so they feel a part of everything.
- Prioritize each other regularly. It should be #1 in your partnership!
Understanding where your insecurities come from is the first step to fixing jealousy in your relationship. Decipher if this is a new scenario or if you’ve always had jealous tendencies. You may be holding on to issues of trust or infidelity from a past relationship that keeps you stuck. This can often carry over to other partnerships if you haven’t dealt with it properly.
Make sure you have proper boundaries and don’t repeat a pattern of choosing similar partners and making you jealous. If this issue is not addressed professionally with counseling, it can continue to cause a regular disruption in all your relationships to come. Whenever you see negative repetition in your relationship, you are not respecting or implementing healthy boundaries the way you should.
Constant jealousy eventually sabotages the love you once shared as a couple.
Naturally, some jealousy will come up in any partnership, but as long as you can talk about it as a couple, you can manage it quickly. Your partner may be more outgoing than you, which can bring up some insecurities. Confidence is everything, so having goals and purpose in life will give you that. When you are comfortable with who you are and happy in your life, jealousy is rarely a problem.
Always pay attention to what is or isn’t happening in your life when jealousy comes to threaten your relationship. Communicate any issues immediately and find a way to comfort each other’s concerns. Please don’t dismiss it as trivial. Their feelings need to be validated and they need to feel heard. They may be going through a vulnerable time, and being there for each other in a rewarding way will always keep you closely connected.
Have you had a jealous partner or dealt with your own jealousies? How did you overcome it? Leave your comments below.
Thanks!
Sybersue xo <3
Sybersue Private Dating Coaching – Contact me at dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video call or voice call date within 24 hours. Thanks!
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