A happy and fulfilling marriage takes work to make it happen. It won’t happen by itself. Unfortunately, many married couples neglect their marriages and let the cares of the world and everyday life come between them. They don’t work on the relationship on purpose. they work on their careers, church activities, children and more. Marriage is usually neglected.
The situation is made worse when only one partner works on the marriage and the other takes it for granted by not working with him. They spend time taking care of their children, work assignments, etc., but neglect to make time for their spouse and relationship.
You need to invest in your marriage if you want it to be fulfilling and happy. The fact that two people have been married for decades does not mean that they are both happy and satisfied with the marriage. One or both may, in fact, be miserable.
Investing in your marriage effectively creates and maintains a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship. I will show you ways to invest in your marriage based on over 35 years of marriage and marriage education studies.
Realize that a happy and fulfilling marriage takes work. It won’t come automatically regardless of how you feel about your husband now or the current state of the marriage. Husband and wife must work on their marriage to make it work well.
The situation where only one spouse is actively working on the relationship may well create an environment of resentment because they do not see their spouse working on it to improve it. So investing in your marriage and making it happy and fulfilling requires you to work at it.
It is easy for daily life, childcare, qualifications for advancement at work, business needs, or church activities to become priorities over your marriage. This should not be so. Your marriage should take priority over all these things.
Many husbands know that their wives will leave them when their children are born. Their priority will be taking care of the children and the husband has to take care of himself. Men sometimes joke about it, but it’s a harsh reality. It’s an emotional outburst when a man realizes that his wife is inside the children, not him.
So prioritize your marriage. Make time to cultivate it together.
You work hard to get the necessary education if you want a promotion at work or to achieve a personal goal. You will learn what is required to do many things besides our weddings. What was the last book you read, video you watched, or article you consumed about marriage? Most people wouldn’t have an answer because they didn’t do anything to educate themselves about marriage and how to make it work.
How do you expect to have a happy marriage if you don’t know how to do it? It’s not going to happen just because you want it to. Your spouse will not magically be the perfect wife or husband for you. You have to work together to make it work, and the first step is to educate yourself about marriage and how to make it successful.
In addition to educating yourself about marriage, learn skills that will help the marriage as well. For example, you might learn how to budget or invest money, time management, etc. Make your life more efficient so you have more time for each other.
I have read several articles over the years where it is said that couples should provide for each other’s needs in marriage. This is somewhat true, in my opinion. Yes. We should ensure that we meet each other’s needs, but not at the expense of expecting our own needs to be met. Meet your spouse’s needs as they meet yours. This is a better way.
Resentment can develop if you work to meet your spouse’s needs but do not meet yours. You will begin to believe that you are doing all the work for the relationship and your spouse is only enjoying the benefits without any effort. You will begin to think they don’t care.
Therefore, meet each other’s needs. Remember, a happy and successful marriage requires cooperation to make it happen.
I have already stated this crucial point. Husband and wife should work together for marriage. Everyone does their part to make it work. Purpose to work together for the sake of marriage and make it work.
A one sided marriage is when only one person works to make the relationship work and the other takes the relationship and their spouse for granted. A major mistake people make is assuming that their spouse will always be there after years or decades of neglect. This spouse often leaves the relationship to find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere, leaving the neglected spouse to wonder what happened.
Therefore, make sure that the husband and wife work together in the marriage to make it happy and fulfilling.
There is more to life than physical and spiritual things. You should consider the spiritual side of things, including your marriage. Study the Bible together. Pray and minister to one another. You don’t do it enough anyway.
When illness or injury strikes, you look to doctors and medical professionals for guidance. Make sure your husband does what the doctors say to ensure a speedy recovery. However, you tend to neglect the spiritual side of things closely. You don’t pray with your spouse, read the Bible with them, lay hands on them like Jesus taught his disciples, or encourage them. You neglect to let God’s power into the situation. You operate strictly functionally or mechanically as if your spouse were a broken tool that needed attention.
Instead, it would help to serve your spouse when he is broken (injured or sick) and when things are good. Be spiritual with your spouse and build a spiritual bond in addition to a physical and emotional one.
Gary Chapman wrote a well-known book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Lasting Love. The book describes the five basic love languages.
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Natural touch
I highly recommend that you get this book, read it, understand the love languages and practice them in your marriage. This, of course, means you need to determine what your spouse’s love language is. You can discover this as you get to know them more intimately.
Once you’ve determined their love language, use it. If your wife’s love language accepts gifts, give her gifts every now and then. The gifts don’t have to be important because it’s the thought that is meaningful to her. The fact that you thought of giving her a gift means that you love her in her mind. So understand the love languages and practice them in your marriage.
Sex is vital in marriage, especially for the husband. A wife who wants to have sex with her husband is seen as a woman who loves him. This is how men see sex. It is the primary way we emotionally connect with our women.
Wives who constantly refuse to have sex with their husband are telling him that he doesn’t love him, which is bad for the marriage. Similarly, husbands who neglect an intimate relationship with their wives are telling them that they are not loved.
Therefore, be sure to consider the emotional connection with your spouse, in which sex is important. Make time for it. It may seem mechanical or anti-spontaneous. However, we can enjoy it even if it doesn’t start spontaneously. We are used to doing this with so many other things. Why do we make exceptions for our marriage?
Cultivate the emotional connection through sex with your spouse.
You often talk to each other about the relationship, money, God, etc. Communication is an essential part of any successful relationship, especially marriage. You must tell your husband about the marriage.
Talk about money, kids, your needs, vacations, etc. Have intimate conversations with each other to help lead you to a happier relationship. Have open, respectful, caring and intimate conversations regularly.
Make plans and work together to make them happen. Working towards a common goal is an effective way to build a bond between you and your spouse. Projects can include where you want to live in the future, vacation destinations, the business you want to start, and more.
Everyday life can quickly suck the life out of your marriage. You become so focused on your work, church, finances, children, and more that you neglect to take time to have fun and enjoy life together.
There may be projects you can do together that turn household responsibilities into an opportunity for more bonding. For example, you could start a painting or home renovation project that you decide to tackle together. Whatever it is, just make sure you have fun and enjoy life together.
The better you become a better husband or wife. Work to continually improve. Be well-groomed even at home. Don’t let yourself go just because no one can see you. Your husband can see you. Think about what you did when you were dating. Have you stopped doing these things?
It can be easy to take your marriage and your spouse for granted, assuming you don’t have to go out of your way to present yourself at home only in their company. Do you walk home in dirty, tattered clothes? Do you look like a bag or a bum when you go to bed at night? Never stop improving yourself and being the best you can be for you and your spouse.
Make time to spend with each other. You do it for everything else. Why neglect your marriage? Plan a regular date night where you can get away from the kids and everyone else to spend intimate time with each other.
That time together could be an important vacation or a trip to a restaurant. The point is to ensure that you spend time together to nurture the relationship. Failure to do this will result in you and your spouse becoming roommates functioning well together but emotionally light years apart. Make time to spend with each other.
A happy and fulfilling marriage requires work from both husband and wife. You can easily neglect your marriage as you prioritize your work, business, children and other things above it.
Purpose to work on your marriage together with your spouse. Follow the ideas above to help you achieve a happy and fulfilling marriage.
