Ignite the Spark: Increasing Desire in Your Relationship
Introduction
Are you longing for your relationship to be filled with passion and desire again? Are you longing for the exciting moments of intimacy and connection that came so easily in the beginning? In long-term partnerships, desire will inevitably fade, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rekindle the flame that once burned so brightly. As Alan Watts said, “But the attitude of faith is letting go and becoming open to the truth, whatever it turns out to be.” In this article, we’ll explore practical methods for stimulating desire, promoting intimacy, and creating passionate relationships, drawing inspiration from renowned thinkers such as David Deida, James Allen, and David Hawkins.
Understanding the Dynamics of Desire
As David Deida wisely observed, “Desire is the energy that seeks fulfillment.” Understanding the complex nature of desire within a relationship is vital before considering ways to stimulate it. Emotional connection, physical attraction, communication, and overall relationship satisfaction are some of the aspects that influence desire. The stress, routine and difficulties of everyday life can cause changes over time. However, you can rekindle the flame of desire and develop a deeper, more intimate relationship with your partner with conscious effort and a willingness to put work into your relationship.
Cultivating emotional intimacy
In a relationship, emotional connection serves as the foundation for desire and passion. As James Allen profoundly stated, “A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his own soul, the director of his own life.” When couples feel emotionally connected and supported, it creates an environment conducive to increased desire and a stronger bond. Here are some ideas for increasing emotional intimacy:
1. Open and honest communication: As Alan Watts pointed out, “No valid plans for the future can be made by those who are unable to live now.” Communicate with your partner about your feelings, desires, and concerns. Create a comfortable environment for open discourse and active listening.
2. Quality Time: As David Hawkins pointed out, “The presence of love will change us.” Set aside time each week for meaningful conversations, shared activities, and growing your emotional connection. Embrace the power of presence and engage fully with your partner.
3. Express appreciation: Florence Scovel Shinn once said, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed on the best; therefore, it tends to become the best.” Thank your partner and recognize their efforts and qualities. Small acts of praise can go a long way in increasing emotional intimacy.
Enhancing physical intimacy
In a relationship, physical closeness is a critical component of desire. Exploring new experiences and strengthening physical connections can help rekindle the flame between partners. David Deida reminds us, “Your task is not to seek love, but simply to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Consider the following strategies:
1. Engage in novel and exciting activities together: As Alan Watts suggested, “That’s the real secret of life — to be fully engaged in what you’re doing here and now.” Engage in activities that add novelty and excitement to your relationship. This can range from trying a new activity to going on new trips together.
2. Make sensual touch a priority: James Allen once said, “The body is the servant of the mind.” Incorporate sensual touch into your regular encounters. To increase anticipation and desire, hold hands, hug and indulge in non-sexual physical contact. As David Deida points out, “In a real relationship, your sexual essence is just as strong outside the bedroom as it is in it.”
3. Experiment with Fantasy and Role-Play: As David Deida encourages, “Take the essence of your sexual fantasy and live it out. This is your offering to your lover.” Discuss your fantasies and desires with your partner, and if both parties feel comfortable, try role playing. This can bring an exciting and unique element to your physical intimacy.
Rekindling desire outside the bedroom
Desire does not exist exclusively within the four walls of the bedroom. In addition to sexual encounters, cultivating desire can have a significant impact on the overall passion in your relationship. David Deida reminds us: “The way you communicate is the way you make love.” Consider the following approaches:
1. Shared interests: As David Hawkins noted, “If you have love in your life, it can make up for a lot of things you’re missing.” Find activities or interests that you and your partner enjoy and make time for them. Shared experiences and shared interests deepen your bond and allow desire to blossom.
2. Amazing and spontaneous acts of compassion: James Allen once said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be.” Surprise your partner with modest gestures or acts of kindness. Plan unexpected date nights or surprise adventures to keep the element of surprise alive. As Allan Watts famously said, “The only way to make sense of change is to immerse yourself in it, move with it, and join the dance.”
3. Keep the flirt going: David Deida reminds us, “Your ability to be intimate with your lover depends on your ability to be intimate with yourself.” Flirting should not be limited to the early stages of a relationship. Even in normal situations, maintain a fun and flirtatious dynamic with your partner. It can build anticipation and sustain desire. As James Allen said, “You are today where your thoughts take you; tomorrow you will be where your thoughts take you.”
Frequently asked questions about increasing desire in your relationship
Q1: Is it common for long-term couples to experience a decrease in desire?
A1: Yes, fluctuating desire is common in long-term relationships. You may, however, renew enthusiasm with effort and open communication. As David Deida suggests, “Embrace the problems that come with love.”
Q2: What if my partner has different desire levels than me?
A2: It is important to have an open and honest discussion about differences in wishes. Understanding each other’s requirements and reaching a compromise can help bridge the gap. As Allan Watts wisely said, “Muddy water is cleared best if left alone.”
Q3: Is it possible to improve overall relationship pleasure by increasing desire?
A3: Rekindling desire often leads to higher relationship satisfaction as it develops deeper emotional and physical connections between partners. As David Hawkins observed, “The highest levels of performance come to people who are centered, intuitive, creative, and thoughtful.”
conclusion
Growing desire in your relationship involves planning, effort, and a willingness to try new ways of connecting. You can rekindle the fire and create a fulfilling, dynamic relationship by prioritizing emotional closeness, enhancing physical intimacy, and encouraging desire outside of the bedroom. Remember that every relationship is different and it may take some time to figure out what works best for you and your spouse. As David Deida reminds us, “You can open to God through sex, and you can open to sex through God.” Embrace the journey of rediscovering desire and enjoy the restored connection that results. As James Allen profoundly stated, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Embrace the power of your thoughts and intentions in manifesting the passionate relationship you desire.
