I unlocked the secret codes of life, connected with my partner’s soul, and jumped dimensions next to a teenage mutant ninja turtle, all in 57 minutes.
It sounds like a scene from an incoherent sci-fi movie, but no, it was what I experienced during my first trial of ketamine therapy. And it may have changed my life.
The journey before the journey
First, let me provide some context as to why ketamine should be administered via IV in the first place. I’m no stranger to psychedelics, and have had profound experiences using psilocybin in guided sound ceremonies in the past. I personally believe that psychedelic therapy can be a useful way to help your subconscious connect the dots (I’m not referring to psychedelic recreational use). But the psychedelic trips I’ve tried in the past haven’t yet been approved by the FDA and were accessible only through the hushed whispers of a friend who knows a friend.
When I learned that New York City had a clinic that offered ketamine treatment that was legal and medically supervised, I was intrigued. While I consider myself a generally optimistic person, the past three years had dulled my glow. My anxieties about the future, not having enough and not being enough gathered like dust on the windowsill.
When a friend told me about Nushamone, I had an instant, full-body yes. One thing I’ve tapped into over the past decade is an extremely strong intuition, and I tend to go with yes without question. After a medical evaluation, conversations with the on-site doctor, and a pre-session with an integrative therapist, I was ready.
The trip
Eye mask and headphones, sitting in a zero-gravity chair, the IV drip was turned on by the nurse. My integration specialist guided me through deep breaths as I eased into my journey. And then I was in – like being handed the keys to the Matrix. The experience was much more emotional than visual. I felt like I was in the POV of a video game player, unlocking different levels and dimensions of life. I zoomed out of the physical realm and experienced my ‘self’ as my ‘soul’.
I realized that this life in the physical realm is but a game and that we are all connected to something much greater. I recognized that our souls are in another dimension by seeing our physical selves interact and engage, and not take things so seriously. I lived to get everything I ever wanted and felt a sense of knowing. Knowing that I am safe, I am abundant, I am connected.
There was a point where I wondered if it was fair – that I have as much abundance as others have. Then I saw a wall of women’s faces behind the glass, as if they had to break it. And I got the message that I had to keep helping others.
My companion’s soul visited me at various parts of my journey. I could feel him, the feeling of home. There was a place where both of our souls played high, looking at our physical form on Earth. We agreed to remember that in the moments when we fight or fight, to remember how our souls connect to another realm and to restore that connection when we forget our way.
Post Ketamine Glow
I purposely deleted my schedule for the next two days so I could enjoy the post-ketamine glow. It’s been four days since my trip and I feel present, aware here as well. I notice the smallest details of my surroundings and feel constantly pleased. Things that usually annoy me make me laugh. When a critical thought pops up, I catch it and gently put it aside and refocus on the present. I feel more connected, more open and the stresses that weigh me down seem to have lifted.
It’s like the soot that gathered around my heart and soul has been swept away, and I’m more myself.
You are your own healer
I feel like the ketamine treatment was a tool that helped me get through some of the obstacles that were floating around in my subconscious mind, but the work then begins in the integration. I am my own therapist and therapy has helped give me a “boost” but ultimately, it is the choices I make on a daily basis that create lasting change.
It’s unusual that psychedelic treatments are becoming more affordable and available, but consult a doctor or health professional before trying anything! These are powerful substances that require care and attention, so as not to be done recklessly. I caution against doing these things recreationally.
