Maintaining a healthy marriage requires constant investment. And most couples experience challenges they have to face in marriage and in love. But when done intentionally, navigating them together can also be among the most rewarding. It’s perfectly natural for couples to experience ups and downs, yet it takes daily acts of love to keep our relationship thriving. And when it gets to the make-or-break point, something has to change.
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Changing the dynamics of your marriage when you are fighting takes serious effort on both sides. It takes patience, commitment and a real desire to change. But with a serious attitude, rekindling a spark in your marriage is definitely possible. You just need to take steps towards a more loving and purposeful relationship and remember to love yourself at the same time.
Here are some simple yet powerful ways to inject new love into your relationship.
3 powerful actions couples can take to increase love in their relationship
1 Fall in love with yourself
There are many reasons a marriage can begin to wither or fall apart. It could be distance, lifestyle differences or just stress. But one of the most common reasons people fall out of love is because they fall in love with themselves first—or they never learned to love themselves.
When you get complacent growth looks scary, even when you know it’s what will bring about healthy changes. And it may sound counter-intuitive, but it redirects some much-needed focusTaking care of yourself can be just as refreshing to your relationship as all the dinner dates and expressions of gratitude in the world.
Take time to think about what you need to regain confidence, self-acceptance and self-esteem. You may need to rediscover a part of yourself, have more intercourse with your needs or reconnect with feelings you had long forgotten.
While doing this, encourage your partner to do the same. Chances are, it’s just what you both need to feel just as desirable, interesting, and confident as the day you met.
Related reading: “If you want a successful marriage, increase your self-control.”
2 Take a Walk Down Memory Lane
Amidst all the drama and chaos of everyday life, it can be easy to forget where your mutual love began. Butterflies, tempting uncertainty, eagerness and play. The ultimate pleasure of love intoxication.
Reflecting on your favorite memories and experiences together can be an extremely healing process for partners who feel like they’ve lost their spark. Before you attempt to make big changes in the future of your relationship, take a tender moment (or several) to stop and reflect on the positive milestones in your relationship.
Memories like the first time you met, made love, or said “I love you” can bring back a rush of spontaneous feelings and tender realizations about what drew you together in the first place and perhaps what still does. Focus on what you love about your partner, what you fell in love with!
2 Introduce adrenaline into your life
If your relationship lacks excitement, perhaps life is too mundane. fix it with some good old fashioned adrenaline. Sometimes, it really is that simple.
Psychology Today it highlights the fact that experiencing adrenaline with another person can create a bonding effect between you. Activities that get your heart pumping can stimulate the production of endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin – the love hormone.
Fortunately, that doesn’t mean you have to parachute in to save your relationship, unless you’re both in it, of course!
Any adrenaline-inducing activity can have a similar effect. Things like exercise, traveling or just trying something new are all effective ways rekindle intimacyexcitement and magic.
3 Practice gratitude
Simply put, everyone wants to feel appreciated. And in the midst of a marriage that lasts many years, people can forget how true this is. But gratitude and affirmation are not things that can be expressed once and for all remembered. They require constant care to get the best result.
Many relationships wither because of a chronic lack of appreciation and gratitude. Don’t let this happen to you. When your partner does something you appreciate, tell them. Share with them when they look hot, when you’re proud of them, and when you love the way they kiss you hello.
Don’t wait for your partner to have a bad day to give them a good word. Celebrate the small joys every day, anytime. A little gratitude goes a long way, long way.
Working together to stay together
Keeping your marriage fresh and exciting is no easy task. With time comes stress, change, aging, and a myriad of other complicating real-world factors. However, reviving a troubled relationship is possible, especially when you both want to improve.
When two people are willing to make it work, the process of creating a younger, happier, more romantic dynamic becomes much easier. With these simple, intentional actionsyou and your partner can begin to change the direction of your relationship and create space for new life to grow within it.
Just remember, in order to love your partner, you must first love yourself!
For couples coaching or to get expert support in your marriage, reach out to heartmanity at Support@heartmanity.com.
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