How to increase female sensitivity

Ask a sex coach

I would love to learn how to increase female sensitivity. I’m in my 20s and I don’t feel anything inside. Compared to my clit, my vagina feels numb.” – Karen

Dear Karen,
In the world where the media and romance novels often portray an idealized version of pleasure and sensitivity, it’s all too easy to assume that everyone else is experiencing immense pleasure from penetration.

Thinking this way can result in:

• feeling ashamed or not good enough

• tolerance of sex that is not pleasant

• feel uncomfortable sharing your experience (which only deepens feelings of shame and isolation)

It can also quickly turn into a vicious cycle: the more ashamed and devastated you feel >> the less likely you are to talk to someone about it and seek support >> the less likely you are to explore ways to feel more >> the It is more likely to tolerate sex that isn’t pleasurable without talking >> the more broken you feel.

I want you to know that no matter how numb your vagina may feel, you are not broken and you are definitely not alone.

In fact, many women struggle with not feeling much during intercourse.

Now that we’re clear on that, let’s look at some possible reasons for your lack of inner senses and what you can do to change that.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the contributing factors:

• Your unique makeup. Just like any other part of the body, vaginal sensitivity can be higher or lower depending on your unique constitution. Many women are much more sensitive internally during their ovulation than the rest of the month.
• Psychological condition. Emotions such as stress, anxiety, fatigue, echoes of past traumas can contribute to feeling numb and dull your ability to sense sensations in your pelvic floor. If, for example, you are able to feel internally when you are enjoying yourself, but not with a partner, it is possible that the reasons for the numbness are psychological.
• General Health. Certain medical conditions and medications can affect your sensitivity. Conditions such as atrial atrophy or nerve damage, as well as many antidepressants, for example, can lead to reduced sensation.
• Growing up. Hormonal changes associated with menopause, for example, can lead to reduced lubrication and thinning of vaginal tissue, which can affect the ability to feel pleasure.
• Sexual arousal and arousal. The level of sexual arousal and the type of sexual arousal that works for you can significantly affect sensations./li>

And while there are many possible reasons why you lack sexual sensation, what’s really empowering is realizing that becoming more sensitive is possible for anyone with enough commitment and practice.

Here’s how to increase female sensitivity and pleasure:

1. Learn how to “get out of your head” and get started Really paying attention to your body (which, in this day and age, is easier said than done and takes dedication and practice.)

2. Learn how to unapologetically accept and love your body (for many, this includes taking a good look at and working through toxic makeup and limiting beliefs that keep you from feeling good about yourself.)

3. Commit to a consistent, non-goal-oriented, self-pleasuring practice.

4. Choose sexual partners who are careful and sensitive. In other words, partners that are in tune with you and the way your body responds to stimulation. It also means partners who do their inner work and are embodied and responsive.

*Things to keep in mind:

• If you suspect that your lack of sensitivity is caused by a physical condition or medication, consider talking to a doctor or pelvic floor specialist

• For untreated sexual trauma, seek a physical trauma therapist.