How to be a better wife – 4 steps
Step #1: Estimate
The first thing to consider when loving your spouse is appreciation. Men usually want appreciation and it’s not enough. Think of all the things you can praise your spouse for. What character traits do you admire? What activities do you value? What appeals to you most about his appearance? What do you love most about him? You have to let him know. Many men wonder if they are enough? Are they masculine enough? Are they strong enough? Are they making enough money? Is their penis big enough? Men can have all kinds of insecurities. Therefore, they must regularly hear from their wives that enough is enough. Affirmation works wonders for men. So start thinking of all the things you can complement your spouse on, and then provide at least one a day.
Step #2: Activity
The second thing to consider if you are wondering how to be a better wife is to do activities with your husband. Most men like to be in motion. They like to hike, bike, fish, golf, etc. I am like that. I don’t like to sit still. I prefer to be in motion doing some kind of fun activity. I like to do recreational activities with my wife. So, another way to love your husband is through fun activities. However, it is important to find activities that he likes and that you would also enjoy. Otherwise, you will dread it and it will not be a pleasant experience. Develop a list of activities you both enjoy and start doing them together. “Hey honey, how about we pack a picnic and go fishing” or “Hey honey, how about we get takeout and go hiking.”
Step #3: Show
The third thing to consider if you are wondering how to be a better wife is your appearance. Most men are visual. Therefore, your husband will appreciate every effort you put into your appearance, including how you style your hair, how you dress, and how often you exercise. How well do you take care of your appearance? How good is your self-care? Physical attraction in marriage is a touchy subject. Some people are at one end of the continuum and say “If you love me, it shouldn’t matter what I look like.” This is a long shot because while your husband may still love you no matter what, his physical attraction to you is involuntary. His attraction to you will flow based on how well you take care of yourself. On the other hand, some people go too far on the other side and say “I’m only committed to you as long as I’m attracted to you” or “I’ll only love you if you stay as beautiful as you were. aged twenty-one”. This is far from the opposite because we all age and our bodies are going to change. So there has to be some grace for your partner’s changing body because it’s inevitable. Balance is key in this matter.
Step #4: Sex
The fourth thing to consider if you’re wondering how to be a better wife is sex. As you may know, 15-20% of marriages have a role reversal where the woman is the higher libido partner. However, it is usually the man because sex drive is linked to testosterone and most men have higher testosterone levels than women. Therefore, men tend to think about and desire sex more often than women. Sexual arousal for most men is spontaneous, meaning they are ready for sex at any time. They can wake up and get aroused, they can see their wife changing and get aroused, they can see their wife get out of the shower and get aroused, etc. It’s spontaneous. It happens instantly. For most women, on the contrary, their sexual arousal is reciprocated. They usually don’t feel any sexual arousal until after the foreplay begins. So ladies, the question should never be “am I in the mood?” because you may never be in the mood. Instead, it should be “am I open to getting into the mood after we start foreplay?”
Your husband wants to feel that you want him sexually, so here are some ideas to get you started. First, dress seductively when you go to bed at night in underwear that is also comfortable for you. Second, tease your husband by flashing a bit of your body when you change clothes. Third, send your spouse a suggestive text or photo, based on what you feel comfortable with. Fourth, rub some of your body against his as you pass him throughout the day. Men experience love more deeply through intercourse. Therefore, every time you flirt sexually with your husband he will interpret it as love.
In addition, make sure to start sexual activity 1-2 times a week. Initiating intercourse sends the message loud and clear that I want and love you. Initiating intercourse can begin with sensual activity, such as a sensual massage or a warm bath together. Then, if you feel open to being aroused, initiate intercourse. The goal during intercourse is to focus on what you desire to maximize your voice, commitment, and consent. Forced sex is a toxic trap that many women fall into. So focus on what your body desires. How do you prefer to receive manual and oral sexual stimulation? What sexual positions do you prefer? Explore what works best for you! Focusing on what you enjoy most is key because your full commitment will be more rewarding to your spouse.
In summary, if you are wondering how to be a better wife, remember to focus on appreciation, activity, appearance, and sexual activity.
Further reading:
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