How can I get along better with my children’s father after our divorce? – Dating Relationship Guidance & Advice

In today’s post, I discuss a topic that affects many people on a daily basis! “How can I get along better with the father of my children after our divorce?”

It’s hard enough to just end a marriage or long-term relationship, but add kids to the mix and it can feel like you never left your ex! You must keep dealing with them and reminding you of what didn’t work between you as a couple!

How do you move forward without anger so you can enjoy the next part of your life and keep your children happy?

Children are like sponges and are affected by the actions of their parents and siblings at an early age. It is so important in the formative years to have a safe and drama-free environment for you to grow up.

I still have flashbacks to my early childhood that drift in and out of my consciousness. The smallest things trigger these memories. some good and some not so good. As a parent, you are the driver of your child’s happiness, so you need to put your anger and resentment away from theirs.

As much as you dislike your ex right now, he’s the reason you have your kids!

If you hadn’t met your ex-husband, you wouldn’t have these beautiful children that bring you so much joy today. You allowed your ex to be a part of your life and you loved him at one point. Unfortunately, difficult times and difficult situations can change the love you once shared with your partner. This can cause feelings of resentment that continue to wreak havoc between you, especially if it wasn’t a mutual ending. It’s important to grieve your breakup and get counseling if you’re holding on to anger or intense sadness.

Understanding that you must you own your place On what happened between you and your ex will also help you not feel stuck or lost in this new phase of your life.

There are two people in a marriage and you both have to be responsible for what didn’t work and caused your partnership to fall apart. Very often one person moves on much faster after a divorce, which can heighten the feelings of loss even more for the other person. If you can both be empathetic and not rub your new life in each other’s faces, it will greatly improve your interaction as a separated couple.

Do not involve your children in your dating life or any new relationships until they have had much needed time to adjust to the breakup of their family. Unfortunately, this happens all too often and causes painful reactions that take longer for everyone to heal. Respect your ex and vice versa. If you want to date, do it when it’s your time away from the kids. They love both their mother and father and are not ready to accept anyone else into the mix.

I made my own mistakes as a young single mom and needed everything to cope with parenting an active toddler, working full time, taking a pay cut, dealing with child care and divorce proceedings. No one said it was easy, but the unconditional love I had for my son kept me believing, “It gets better” and “It’s worth it!”

My son saw too much and had to grow up faster than he should have, and I own up to that. I was a new mom finding my way, but I definitely would have done things a little differently today. One of the big lessons for me is that I would have asked for help even when people didn’t offer it. (If you have single parent friends, asking them if you can help out for an afternoon with the kids is much more appreciated than you’ll ever know!)

Some of the pent-up resentment you may feel about your ex stems from the stress of being a single parent and having to do two people’s work.

Not only is it financially difficult, but it can be downright exhausting to do it yourself and stay positive all these years. I highly suggest sitting down with your ex and a therapist to come up with a plan that works for both of you with a parenting plan. You should both be on the same page by always putting your children’s interests first over your own personal needs during the first year or two of a divorce. It may take a while before you can both co-parent at holidays, sporting events, or school activities, but that will come if you take the time to learn how to be kind to each other.

You should also both be communicating what may be going on with your children’s well-being and how they are coping with these disruptive changes in their family dynamics. It is imperative that you do not fight in front of them, as difficult as that may be at times. They feel very insecure right now and seeing their parents argue turns them upside down every time they have to see that.

Any disagreements you have should be dealt with outside the home and away from the children. Respecting and appreciating each other as parents to your children is a big part of healing from a divorce. They need you both.

Try not to beat yourself up about what happened to end your relationship. People change and things don’t always go as we hope. This is a part of life that helps us constantly evolve into a better and stronger version of ourselves. It’s how quickly we learn these hard lessons and how grateful we are these experiences, that will lead us to our highest good and a partnership that works best for us next.

Our children deserve unconditional happiness and to see us at our best. They want to see us happy.

Have you faced this scenario? How did you handle it? Leave your comments below to help others!

*Follow dear Sybersue on Facebook

Thanks, Sybersue xo ❤️

Sybersue Private Dating Coaching – Contact me at dearsybersue@gmail.com and message me there to set up a video call or voice call date within 24 hours. Thanks!