Five red flags women look out for when dating

The modern dating scene is flooded with an overwhelming number of options. Dating apps can trap us in a seemingly endless cycle of scrolling, swiping, texting, meeting, and my favorite: ghosting. It can be hard enough to even set up a date in the first place, much less someone you really click with.

When you meet someone who seems compatible, whether through dating apps or other methods, she’ll also think about whether you’re a match for her. Below are five common red flags women look for when dating to help you put your best foot forward and get the most out of your dates.

Talking about exes frequently and/or disrespectfully

Bringing up your dating history isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but how you talk about your exes can raise red flags for a potential partner. If you usually describe ex-partners in a negative light, he may think you have trouble taking responsibility for your actions. Dwelling on the past can also signal to her that you’re not yet ready to move on.

Almost all of us have had relationships that, despite our best efforts, go off the rails. These life experiences need not be permanent sources of sadness, resentment or anger: on the contrary, they can help us better understand our own patterns, needs and values. Internalizing and activating these lessons shows that you are emotionally mature and willing to grow.

He never initiates dates or conversations

If your first date went well, the natural next step is to see each other again. However, if you sit and wait for him to initiate most of your conversations and dates, he will make a note of it. Having a busy schedule is completely understandable: however, rarely approaching to organize plans or check in via text message is a red flag. It shows that you expect him to do more than the heavy lifting in your relationship, or that you’re afraid of appearing emotionally invested.

Connection doesn’t come out of thin air – it comes from the experiences you create. This doesn’t mean you have to take her out on several fancy dinner dates a week or text her every day. Just being proactive and making an effort to make plans makes her feel respected and valued while also showing good communication skills.

She doesn’t respect her boundaries

All successful relationships involve setting and maintaining boundaries. They are basic guidelines that let others know what to expect from us and what we expect from them. Acknowledging your date’s personal and sexual boundaries helps them feel safe and respected. Pushing her boundaries after she’s confirmed them, as well as challenging them or trying to get her to bend them for you, is a major red flag.

Mistakes happen and sometimes we may unintentionally overstep one’s boundaries. This can be difficult when you’re dating someone new and just getting to know them. What matters most is not the initial incident, but how you modify your behavior in response. Showing genuine remorse and being mindful of her boundaries in the future shows that you respect her and take her values ​​seriously.

Long overdue

Showing up late to a first date can be annoying, but it’s not a deal-breaker. However, if you’re late almost every time you meet your date, this becomes a worrying pattern. It warns her that you are disrespectful of her time and perhaps careless and irresponsible in other parts of life.

While you can’t plan for everything, there are delays that you can reasonably anticipate, so give yourself extra wiggle room. Consider avoiding date plans on days when your schedule is particularly tight. If you are going to be more than 5 minutes late, let your appointment know immediately. Politeness goes a long way and will show her that you value her time as much as yours.

Not handling conflict in a healthy way

Some conflict in a relationship is inevitable. While disagreement isn’t a reason to stop dating someone entirely, how we navigate the conflict is important. If you have trouble handling your emotions, become defensive, or aren’t open to feedback, this raises red flags. This doesn’t even have to be directed at her: if a new date sees you handling arguments with friends or even service workers poorly, she might feel uncomfortable around you.

You and a potential partner deserve someone who is emotionally mature enough to have tough, but respectful, conversations. Emotions may run high during conflict, but trying to empathize with her perspective and clearly and respectfully communicate your own thoughts can help you grow from these experiences.

conclusion

The dating world has changed dramatically, but the potential for meaningful connection is constant. Being intentional and selective when dating, as well as seeking outside help and advice from a trusted person, will save you time and help you find the kinds of connections you deserve and want.

While it can be helpful to know the common red flags, it’s important to remember that these are just guidelines. Instead of fixating on what not to do or worrying about how you’ll be seen, use them as a reference point to help you be your best self. There is no bigger green flag than a man who approaches dating with an open mind, self-awareness, confidence and respect for others. This won’t just benefit her—when you’re working and happy with the current version of yourself, you’ll have dating experiences that are not only more successful and fulfilling, but also more enjoyable.