Podcast: Download
I’m about halfway through the book Margin now, and I can promise you’ll be hearing a lot about this idea from me. In fact, I just added a “Margin» category for the blog.
It’s not a new idea to me. I have written about busy and it is very tired regularly. This book puts all of that into an easy-to-describe and easy-to-discuss package, complete with a simple term that describes the need.
Fortunately for my wife and I, I haven’t only written about this topic over the years. I was working to create more room in my life even before I could say it.
Let me share something from yesterday that shows how important margin a marriage can be. The images accompanying this post are his Multnomah Falls – one of the most spectacular waterfalls in the US. We’ve driven by the falls dozens of times since moving to the Northwest, but had only stopped twice. I always want to stop, but it’s in the middle of a 6 to 9 hour drive, (depending on where we went), and usually we just don’t have time. I’ve always prided myself on being able to schedule things very precisely, which means an extra stop just isn’t an option. This time, however, I made allowances for our trip to the Oregon coast.
On the trip down, this margin kept us from being late to a dinner meeting when a rock clearing crew blocked the road for a while. It was nice not having to call our friend and tell him we were going to be late, blaming it on “unforeseen roadworks”. Yes, it was unpredictable, but it was easily covered by the margin we had allowed.
The margin was an even bigger gift on the return trip. Lori mentioned that she would like to stop at Multnomah Falls, and since we had room, I was able to say yes without a second thought. And without worrying about our schedule. We stopped, walked around, took a few pictures, decided they were asking for too much ice cream and moved on. As we continued home, I learned that my wife really enjoys the falls and we felt bad, we kept zooming in because we “just don’t have time”. He told me that the added leeway in our lives means I can say yes to what he wants more often. She also said she was asking for more because she didn’t have to worry about me getting upset or just blowing her off because of timing issues. I feel bad to learn that my programming has robbed her of things she wanted to do and prevented her from asking. It felt fantastic to know that both of these things will be less common if I continue to put more leeway into my life.
What might change in your marriage if you had more leeway? Would one or both of you be more relaxed? Would you do more of the things you both enjoy? Would there be less frustration and possibly less rude words? Fringe can do a lot for your wedding. start adding some margin today.
Margin: Restoring emotional, physical, financial and temporal reserves in overburdened lives
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[This post first appeared Aug 06, 2012.]
Image credit: © Paul H. Byerly
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