As we enter the new year, here are some questions to prayerfully consider. Are you living your wedding dream? Do you enjoy spending your life together with your spouse? (We all go through marital ups and downs, but for the most part, is your marriage relationship good?) Do you regularly make it a point to spend time together so you can emotionally connect with each other and keep your love relationship alive?
We find that too many couples make a habit of doing too many things apart from each other, both physically and emotionally.
Of course, this is with the exception of doing things with and for their children. But that’s not what Marriage Insight is about. We encourage you to do things together that can help you grow your marriage relationship. We also encourage you to find something to dream about together. And then enjoy the challenge of making it happen.
It’s amazing how many fun and interesting things we will do together before we get married. And yet, after we say, “I do,” we don’t. We forget to be intentional when we spend time together.
Live the dream together
Yes, we will do projects around the house together. And we will do things for the children (if we have them). In addition, we will do things with others. But until there. We forget to do fun things together that make us smile like we did before we got married. And this simply should not be! Just because we have a marriage license does not mean that our relationship will automatically develop in a good direction. In fact, the exact opposite is usually the case.
Without making good deposits in our relationship, the daily pressures will eventually deplete the good we previously had going for us. That’s when spouses say they’re “separated.” Please don’t let this happen to your relationship.
With all our hearts, we encourage you to do at least three intentional things to grow your love relationship.
First:
DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER.
This is not as difficult as you think. we have many suggestions in the articles published on Romantic Ideas topic that you can draw from and try. Just look and see what might work for your wedding. And know that we keep adding more and more. So keep checking back.
You don’t have to do anything that is exciting to anyone else. Just make sure you’re both happy with it. Who cares what other people think? Make sure you both agree on what you are doing. It can be as simple as going for a walk together. You could go for a drive or a hike together. Or you can have (or make homemade) a pizza and watch a movie together. (This is something we do every week and we love it!) What matters is that both of you are happy with your marriage. And don’t be afraid to try mixing it up. Challenge yourself (if you both agree to do so). However, most importantly, just DO SOMETHING… TOGETHER!
This is what helped you fall in love with each other in the first place. You did things together. Now it is important that it continues to grow. Love must be constantly nourished.
Also:
PLAY Something… TOGETHER.
Find a sport you enjoy watching or playing together. Play board games with each other. Or you can play card games or play tennis together. The goal is to have fun. soak up the fun… and look for fun things to do together so you can laugh with each other and enjoy your marriage. Laughter will expand your loving feelings for each other.
We like to watch funny movies as well as interesting movies together. We also like to watch funny stuff on the internet to share with each other. In addition, we like to share reading funny comics. Some of them are some oldies but goodies like: Calvin and Hobbs, The Far Side, Herman…etc.
Over the years we have searched for them and now we have a whole collection of humorous books. Many of these we read over and over again, laughing each time. And when things get really serious, we find something to read, watch, play or do together that will make us laugh. It is important for us to look for ways to laugh together. Laughter really IS good medicine (as the Bible tells us). So look for ways to laugh and PLAY… TOGETHER. Additionally:
WE DREAM Something TOGETHER.
The Bible says, “where there is no vision, people perish.We believe (as do most marriage educators and experts) that when a couple forgets to dream and plan things together that excite them both, their marriage is in jeopardy.
You could be planning dream vacations and/or getaways together. They could be together on mission trips. This can be short term and/or long term travel. You could be planning to build a dream home together. Even if you never build it, at least you enjoyed designing it. It could be mentoring other couples together. Your mission would be to help some younger couples in need. And the bonus is that you do it together and grow your relationship too!
Years ago, we were both dreaming and planning how to pay off our home mortgage and be completely debt free. Little by little, dollar by dollar we planned and worked on it. And several years ago, we achieved our goal. It took a lot of sacrifices. but it was definitely worth it! And now that inflation is hitting us (and most everyone else) hard, we are SO thankful we did
And now, we have moved on to other dreams.
A dream come true
This is part of the reason we work together in the mission of marriage, through the Ministry of Marriage Missions. It all started with praying together, talking about it and dreaming. And now we are participating with God in amazing ways beyond our wildest dreams. It was a long journey. And it all started with a prayer and an inspired dream.
We encourage you to ask God for a dream that you can enjoy together. This can infuse excitement into your marriage relationship. We know this from personal experience.
We wholeheartedly encourage you to do these three things (and keep doing them):
Do something TOGETHER.
Play something TOGETHER.
And we dream TOGETHER.
Don’t neglect your relationship. Be intentional about his diet. Fill it with that, which will increase your love for each other as you did before you were married.
And if you are already divorced, then reinvest in your marriage. Be sure to show love and care to each other with intention. Also, try not to serve each other. You will be amazed at how love will slowly begin to blossom and grow in ways you never imagined. This happened to us. This has happened to many other couples we know. And we think it can happen to you too.
But most importantly, if you have a spouse to join you:
Pray TOGETHER.
What Cheri Fuller wrote (in her book, “When Couples Pray”) is so true:
“Every time you pray together, you’re letting God into your life and into the specific situation you’re talking to Him about. In these moments of prayer as a couple, God wraps His arms around each of you and bridges any gaps between you. No matter how difficult the situation, there is no substitute for the flood of peace that comes from a husband and wife praying together. There is no situation so dark or problem so hopeless that God cannot shine His light and provide help. And most importantly, when you pray faithfully through a crisis or extremely painful situation, you will find that the difficulty brings you closer instead of tearing you apart.”
And if it is not possible to pray together, at least pray for each other.
As you do this, other activities in the fellowship can come more naturally as God inspires. And as you do this:
“May the God who gives patience and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (Romans 15:5-6)
Cindy and Steve Wright
– ADDITIONALLY –
To help you further, we give many personal stories, humor and more practical advice in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to grow your marriage. We hope you’ll pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both online and in print.) Plus, it makes a great gift for someone else. It gives you an opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or image below:
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