Did Bathsheba Matter?
Last Sunday, on my Facebook page, I shared an excerpt from Diane Langberg’s book, Redemptive Power: Understanding Power and Abuse in the Church.
The quote read: “King David was Bathsheba’s Harvey Weinstein.”
In the caption, I added, “Somewhere in a church today, there’s a sermon about David and Bathsheba, and it doesn’t start like this…”
(Harvey Weinstein is a former film producer and convicted sex offender.)
The “story of David and Bathsheba” has been wrongly told and preached since always. I share the updatebelieving that most people would agree that the church needs to correct its course.
I expected some differing opinions, but I was surprised by the number of commenters who came to David’s defense (def: Conduct of the case for the party accused or sued.. Oxford Languages and Google). They said David can’t be Bathsheba’s HW because,
- he did it once
- Harvey Weinstein was worse
- the Bible calls David a man after God’s own heart
- he repented
- God anointed David
- we are all sinners
- David was forgiven
- we let the pendulum swing too far… it’s a slippery slope
One person suggested that my post was “gall, bitterness and something else that is not right” and “not the work of the Holy Spirit.” Another said: “David married Bathsheba, and God blessed their union. Hardly a Harvey Weinstein example.”
I replied to some of the comments and then got busy and couldn’t get busy as much as I would have liked. So I decided to write a quick blog post.
So let’s talk about it…
Did Bathsheba’s life matter? 8 Thoughts
Here’s what I think.
1. We cannot defend David and tell ourselves that our reasoning is not to throw Bathsheba under the bus.
We cannot consider that the inspired defense of a privileged man did not do the thing the church has historically been guilty of: retelling the narrative of David’s offenses in FULL DARVO mode.
(Def of Darvo: Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.)
2. The post said David was TO BATHSHEBA a Harvey Weinstein.
Harvey Weinstein was a powerful man who used his power to prey, exploit and harm.
David did to Bathsheba what Harvey did to many women. Yes, David also murdered Bathsheba’s husband. The point was that people in power use their power to exploit and harm rather than to protect and uplift.
David did a wicked thing, and His behavior can stand on its own, regardless of what He did AFTER He was caught and called out.
We can all agree (I hope) that an act of repentance by an offender does not erase the harm done to the victim. Read More If her abusive husband is in recovery, shouldn’t a wife stay?
3. THere there are different understandings of what it means to “be a man after God’s own heart.”
But no one should minimize David’s corruption and wickedness.
As Christians, the fact that we believe that people who claim to love God are somehow special is one of the reasons why harm continues unchecked in faith spaces.
God Himself rebuked David and it should not be news that God was displeased with David’s actions. 2 Samuel 12.
4. Did Bathsheba’s life matter? Grabbing a woman, raping her, murdering her husband and making her your wife hardly seems like a “marriage” story to aspire to.
Saying, “Furthermore, David married Bathsheba, and God blessed their union. It’s hardly an example of Harvey Weinstein.” it shows how uninformed and destructive our “theology” can be.
All over the world, victims are forced to marry the perpetrator. Do we really believe that “marriage” fixes evil? Are we so heartbroken that we believe it is redemptive to bind a victim to an abuser for the rest of their lives?
Bathsheba had no say. There was no consensus. And the chapters in the book of Samuel are all worded to point to David as the offender and Bathsheba as the victim.
It’s not a love story. It’s a tragedy. It started with a rush and didn’t let up. The fact that some Christians believe it was “because of marriage, yes,” should break our hearts.
5. “King David was Bathsheba’s Harvey Weinstein» is clear and specific WHERE He made what and to whom.
A lot of people missed the point of the update and the only reason I can come up with is Christians worship Bible characters.
We believe that patriarchs, “heroes of the faith” and prominent Bible characters cannot be held in the light without an airbrush.
We believe there should be a beautiful bow in every story and break our backs, ensuring “redemption” and “hope” and “faith” at the end of every line, no matter how terrible and heartbreaking and humanly irredeemable that line is.
And we believe that not doing so—telling things as they are, without pretty bows, telling the truth as it is shared—is somehow against God.
The reality is that bad things happen. And God doesn’t need us to fix the unfixable. It does not require us to interpret reality in order to be good little Christians. God is not fragile.
But other human beings are. Those who like to exploit, control, deceive and manipulate NEED to believe that God is fragile, Bible characters as worthy of respect, and putting a real name on anything is against faith.
Read more When pastors exploit in the name of Christ
6. It is not “gall, bitterness” or “not the work of the Holy Spirit’ to invoke injustices and harms.
If we think it is gall and bitterness and contrary to the work of the Spirit to speak against exploitation and oppression, we have not understood Luke 4:18, 19, where Jesus opened the scroll and said of himself,
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the captives and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Jesus upset those who hoarded power and used it to harm, injure and oppress. He also upset those who wanted to be like Those who abused power – the enablers, the middle-of-the-road-there-are-two-sides-of-every-story people.
Read More How do you convince your loved one that leaving your abuser was the right thing to do?
Jesus upset those who thought it was more important to care for the privileged than to protect the downtrodden.
7. We must ask ourselves why one victim is not “enough”.
We must ask ourselves why one victim is not “enough.
Why ‘David ‘did it once’ and ‘then repented’ and is therefore ‘not a sex offender’ is part of our beliefs. Because “he should never be remembered as a murderer. He did evil, but he changed’ somehow makes sense to us.
Events could have been omitted from Scripture if God wanted them all to be buried or whitewashed. But here we are. Because we think it’s our job to minimize, deflect, shift responsibility, or bury it all together there in the Bible?
How do we see the corruption and wickedness of a privileged man and decide that he is the one worth defending?
If we say that David did it once and regretted it, we are saying that one victim is not enough for us. That more women have to have acts of violence happen to them to be labeled and judged as heinous acts. If “she did it once” is our rallying cry, we say Bathsheba’s life didn’t matter.
But Bathsheba mattered: One victim is enough. As Christians, we must understand that defending a sexual predator and murderer and honoring and protecting a victim are not drifting in the same river.
If our words and behavior choose David, let’s own that. Let us walk in the total weight of our convictions. But let’s not insult the intelligence of the victims by implying that we are also their allies.
Read more Is vague, confusing language around abuse keeping women in abusive marriages?
8. An offender’s repentance does not minimize or change what he did.
An offender’s remorse does not erase the impact their actions had on a victim and survivor.
David spoiled Bathsheba. he had no power, no ability to say no. David can have his way with God, AND we can be clear about the harm that has been caused.
To say that David repented and therefore is not a sex offender to Bathsheba is precisely why we Christians are dangerous to victims of sexual violence (and all victims, really.)
Did Bathsheba’s life matter?
I think we need to stop being so infatuated with Bible characters. It was never the point.
God was and still is the issue. It is revealed in the person of Jesus. We look at what he taught and what he modeled.
We seek to understand recorded events and distinguish what is prescriptive and merely descriptive and what the main conclusions should be.
We realize that life can be a pile of dung sometimes and we don’t have to make pearls out of everything. We can bear witness, mourn, mourn, and fix nothing. Read more about “Testimonies,” confused Hallelujahs, and Christian reluctance to sit with hard stories
God always invites people to just be. I rest.
What is a woman’s life worth? Did Bathsheba’s life matter?
He made. Bathsheba mattered. Victims matter.
Tired of the religious refrains used to justify your wounded reality?
Were you told to take your place in the valley of desolation? Are you walking through life with a broken soul, wounded by wolves in sheep’s clothing? Courage is for women who are tired of harmful theology and bad marriage advice. You deserve more. Series Courage: Reflections and Liberation for the Hurting Soul on Amazon I PDF
