Hello friends,
When it comes to marriage you hear the word, intimacy, a lot. Although our minds tend to think only of physical intimacy between a husband and wife, there is another area in which we can become intimate with each other. Spiritual intimacy is something that isn’t talked about much, but it’s something that can take your marriage to a level you never dreamed possible.
Why is spiritual intimacy important?
Spiritual intimacy is so important in a marriage. However, it’s also a topic you rarely (if ever) hear people talk about. Let’s take a moment and look at what spiritual intimacy is and why it’s important to your marriage.
Spiritual intimacy is the act of revealing your deepest core values, passions, and beliefs to your spouse and allowing him to do the same.
Most couples start this process in dating, but unfortunately, they don’t continue it in marriage. While this may not seem like a problem, it can make you feel like something is missing from your marriage.
There are countless studies that show the importance of this kind of intimacy, but in very basic terms, spiritual intimacy is the glue that will hold you and your spouse together in good times but especially in bad times.
Spiritual intimacy will sustain your marriage in times when you may feel like your world is falling apart. By allowing God into your marriage and then intending to maintain that level of intimacy, your marriage will not only thrive in the good times, but weather any storm that may come your way.
Our Journey with Spiritual Intimacy
It may shock you to hear that Alex and I have really focused on our spiritual intimacy over the last year. We both love the Father and have been involved in ministry for over 15 years. However, this wasn’t something we really focused on as a way to strengthen our marriage.
Alex and I knew we shared the same core beliefs and wanted to be in ministry from the moment we met. (I mean, we met in Israel) However, we each focused on our own separate spirituality. We each spent time alone with Father, and sometimes we talked about it, but most of the time we didn’t. So we both grew up but not together as husband and wife in that area. But all that was about to change!
Step back but getting closer
In November 2022, Alex and I felt the Lord calling us to take a sabbatical (rest time). We have both been in ministry for our entire marriage – plus some. We needed some time to rest and recharge. So we committed 6 months to rest and seek the Father. And let me tell you that the Lord has appeared and shown us that He is true to His Word
We looked for him and found him. A lot happened in that 6 month period, but during that time Alex and I started working on our spiritual intimacy as a couple. I can honestly say that after 11 years of marriage and many more years of being followers of Jesus, we are more in love with the Lord, His Word and each other now than ever before.
Ways to develop spiritual intimacy in your marriage
There is so much I can say about the six months we were on Sabbatical. I’ll share other things here and there, but to keep this blog to the point, I’d like to share the books that got us started and the ways we began to develop spiritual intimacy in our marriage.
A few months before we went on Sabbatical, I started reading the book “A year for progress» by Chuck Pierce. It is all about the Jewish calendar, the twelve tribes of Israel and the early church. He went on to refer to another book by Robert Heidler entitled: “The Messianic Church is emerging”, which is on the same topic. As we learned about the early church and the Jewish calendar, Alex and I committed to structuring our lives closer to the Lord’s plan. Here’s what we’ve started doing.
Weekly Saturdays
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Exodus 20:8
Alex and I have always preached the importance of Sabbath rest. God Himself created this and commands us to do it, but the enemy has done a very good job of making us feel like we have no time to rest. During our sabbatical we increased the time we set aside for the Sabbath.
We start on Friday night. We cook a special dinner and sit at the table (without our phones). Then we welcome the Sabbath with communion and a time of prayer. As we eat, we take time to share moments that happened during the week that we are grateful for.
Then we spend the next 24 hours doing only things that give us life. This time has become so special for Alex and me. We look forward to it every week.
Saturday morning reading
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, that the servant of God may be fully equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
I told you above that Alex and I have been studying separately, and we continue to study because personal time with the Father is important, but we have added time to study the Word together.
We wake up early on Saturday morning, make breakfast, and then spend some time in God’s Word. We use it Tree of Life Bible Application. It gives you weekly readings that allow you to read the entire Bible. The structure of their reading plan is so simple and makes the Bible easier to understand (in my opinion).
What I love about this time, is that as we read, we share our own perspectives and what we feel the Lord has revealed to us about the passage. Sometimes it’s the same, but most of the time we each see something different that allows us to grow.
Daily prayer time
Be anxious about nothing—but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4:6
Several years ago, Alex and I started praying together in the mornings. Prayer is powerful and has the ability to effectively prove the divorce of your marriage. Although we had already established a regular prayer time, through this we find that we pray more together.
For example, just in the last few weeks we have started saying a quick prayer right before bed. It is a very simple prayer, but we have already noticed that we sleep better.
Honestly, this took a while to get into a rhythm, and we still have a lot of room to grow, but it’s nice to have that open line of communication between us and the Father.
Purposeful and Strategic Dose
Let each one give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion—for God loves a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7
This is another area where Alex and I have stepped up our game. We have been faithful tithers for years, but the more we have learned to give, the more we want to give.
We made up our minds to pray and then sit down and discuss how we want to sow our first fruits and offerings. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t give away God.” We realized that there is a lot of truth in this statement.
God has blessed us so much since we have been doing this. It was in finance as well as in other fields.
What I love so much about this, is that Alex and I are having conversations now about how we want to bless others. It’s a fun and exciting addition to our days and weeks.
Find your own pace
Spiritual intimacy takes time to build, but it is worth the time you invest in it. You may not be able to do all the things at once. Alex and I started small and made it up as we went. We are still adding and tweaking things to make it unique and vital to our wedding. We encourage you to do the same.
You have to be intentional about putting in the time and putting in the effort. There will be times when you may not be able to follow the plan completely. If you have to reschedule from time to time, that’s fine, just make sure you reschedule. We make time for what is important and your spiritual intimacy is very important.
We are praying for you.
If you have any questions about the resources we’ve linked or more details about how we’re solving it, send us a message! We would like to share this journey with you.
