“I’m happy inside out, ecstatic; I’ve pitched my tent in the land of hope.” (Acts 26:2 MSG)
So how can a couple “pitch our tent in the land of hope”?
Since God is the Creator of ALL, God can create a way forward on the path of hope! We recently released Renewing Hope Journal as a “tent of hope,” a place to collect hope-giving verses, quotes about hope, and create drawings and sketches to help you capture the building of hope in your heart and mind. It can be used in your individual devotion time, but my husband and I recommend using a hope journal together!
Hope comes from our choices, as individuals, as couples, and as families. My working definition, based on scripture study of hope, is: “Waiting eagerly for God to appear and be revealed for YOUR GOOD and GOD’S GLORY.”
You don’t have to travel alone for hope, you can work together as a married couple and pursue hope TOGETHER! Here are several activities that have helped my husband, Bill, and I cultivate hope:
Spend time on the promises of God’s Word: First and foremost, to gain more hope, we must put our hearts into the Bible, a book full of precious promises from the Creator. Max Lucado, author of Unshakable Hope says, “God’s promises are the pines in the Rockies of the Bible: abundant, unfailing, and perennial.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Choose a time to go through the scriptures with your spouse. Over coffee, share a favorite scripture from your individual quiet times or choose a simple devotional to read together.
Spend time with Jesus: The good news is that Jesus came out of love for you, for me. He lived sinless and then GAVE His life for our place. “…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). Max Lucado shares, “When Jesus died on the cross, so did your sin. when he rose from the dead, so did your hope.” Our deep, abiding, faithful hope comes from this, or rather in WHOM, we place our hope. God is sure to fulfill all His promises of hope. Your friendship with your Creator is the solid, gold and diamond, foundational wealth of eternal hope.
When you’re in the car, put on some hymnal music and worship your hope! Or at home, shout, “Alexa, play Christian music!”, then dance along and watch the smiles come back.
Spend time creating: Paint, sew, build, draw, sketch, shape, erase, carve and string your hope! While you write Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Bible Study Experience, we (my writers and I) decided to include creative expression and scripture coloring pages, in part because the science behind creativity is strong. In addition to writing the Bible study book, I did more research and wrote a blog for Dr. Saundra Dalton’s ichoosemybestlife.com about the many benefits of creativity.
Dr. Bea adds that coloring “relaxes the brain. When thoughts are focused on a simple activity, your brain tends to relax…we are not bothered by our thoughts and evaluations. The difficulties of life evaporate from our awareness…”. In addition, Dr. Joel Pearson, a brain scientist, adds: “Concentrating on coloring an image can make it easier to replace negative thoughts and images with pleasant ones.”
As a couple, make sidewalk graphics or paint rocks with encouraging words or scriptures and place them along your prayer path. Create your own backyard, “paint and drink” a blank canvas and create a piece of art to hang above your bed. My friend, Lexi, painted the features of 1 Corinthians 13 on her headboard as a gift for her military husband – what a nice welcome home!
Spend time in nature: We live on a boat and agree with the studies that show people who live near water are happy! “Water makes you happier, healthier, more connected to other people, and better at what you do,” says Wallace J. Nichols, Ph.D., author of Blue Mind.
As a couple, take the time to plan dates to gaze at a beautiful sunset, stand in awe at the sight of a majestic mountain, feel the tranquility of wading in a cool stream, rest under the stars, or feel the renewal of breath in the fresh air of the country. We, the created, connect with the Creator when we rest in creation. The Princeton researchers found that even “gardening at home had a similar effect on people’s emotional well-being (or happiness) as biking, walking, or eating out.” As a team, pick up a trowel and rake and plant some flowers, a vegetable garden or create a romantic outdoor garden oasis with twinkling lights and a bistro table for two.
Spend time with life-giving people: We are made for relationships. In our book, 10 Best Decisions Every Couple Can Make, we encourage people to create success in their lives by inviting positive, energetic, productive and philanthropic people into their world. “According to Psychology Today, face-to-face contact can reduce the risk of mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety.”
Invite a mentor couple for a double date, invite friends over for a backyard barbecue, or gather friends at a lake or beach for a bonfire, s’mores, and heart-to-heart talk. The best way to find a mentor couple is to simply make a list of 5 to 6 couples who have the type of marriage you desire and are a little further down the road in life. Then call each couple, one at a time, and see if you can just go for coffee together. Many couples with fantastic marriages may not call themselves mentors, but they have a wealth of knowledge to share!
Spend time moving: Exercise boosts your happy hormones! In studies reviewed in the journal BrainPiflexibility and movement “enhances mood, reduces stress levels and even improves cognitive functions such as attention, memory and problem solving. According to LiveStrong.com, these benefits may be due, in part, to exercise’s ability to grow our brains.” production of the chemicals dopamine and serotonin…” In our book, Red Hot Monogamy, we cite multiple studies showing that couples who exercise together have more “red romance.” Make a weekly date with your partner to walk, run, bike, dance, hike, kayak, paddle board, stretch, or take an exercise class. In short, exercise combined with these other preventive activities will help you both feel happier, healthier, and full of hope.
