A big problem men have in dating and relationships is that they confuse emotional connection with sexual attraction. That’s why I urge every guy out there to try to connect with people emotionally, regardless of whether they want to sleep with the other person or not.
If you do this – if you try to connect emotionally with people you meet, without the ulterior motive of sleeping with them just because they’re hot – you’ll have a much easier time attracting people when you really want to.
This is a pretty complicated topic, but bear with me because it has a huge impact on how successful you are with women. And people in general.
Create an emotional connection with people whether you want to sleep with them or not
Well, I get a ton of emails from guys complaining about women showing them attention, but then rejecting their advances.
Seriously, too many men think that when women pay attention to you and want to connect with you emotionally, that those women want to sleep with you too.
And then the same guys get very upset when they mistake this politeness for sexual desire and get rejected when they ask the girl out.
This rejection obviously hurts men’s egos and has a negative impact on their self-esteem. But truth be told, these guys are doing it to themselves because they can’t tell the difference between someone who is genuinely friendly and interested in them as a person and sexual desire/attraction.
You see, there is a lot more to sexual desire and attraction than showing interest or being friendly with someone. And a lot of kids don’t understand that. Especially those who don’t have much experience with women.
Too many men have it in their heads that if a woman is nice to them and tries to get to know them or connect with them emotionally, she wants them sexually.
And so many pieces of entertainment like rom-coms, music, various series, movies, books and the like play into this delusion, making men think this way. At the expense of their mental health and understanding of social dynamics.
Some guys even proclaim unbelievably stupid things like “Why would he even pay attention to me if he doesn’t even want to fuck me?” Revealing that they have no idea about women and generally don’t have good social skills.
So how do you deal with this? What is the main issue here?
Mainly lack of social experience and being around women in general.
You are genuinely interested in connecting with other people emotionally
Here’s an idea: I want men to learn to connect emotionally with people they don’t intend to have sex with.
Sounds strange at first, right? So why do that? Why bother?
But it’s just that type of thinking, like “Why bother getting emotionally attached to this girl if I don’t even want to jump her?” which will ensure you fail with women.
So here’s a hot headline from the press: Not everything in life is about sex!
And the sooner you realize and accept it, the better your life will be.
I want men to stop assuming that women are planning to have sex with them because women are trying to get emotionally involved with them.
Some women are JUST FRIENDLY. And if you mistake that friendliness for sexual attraction and think that women “want you” just because they show a genuine interest in you as a person – YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BAD TIME.
This is because too many men, especially the most desperate and needy, virgins, “basement dwellers” and those living sexless lives, feel PERSONALLY BETRAYED by the fact that some women are deeply and sincerely into them, but DON’T DESIRE THEM REALLY SEXUAL.
Some guys just can’t understand why any woman would do that. But it immediately betrays a simple fact about these guys: They think women are just a life support system for a gimmick and aren’t real people.
Simply put, guys who think this way are objectifying women.
And when you objectify women, you will never succeed with women in any endeavor, except exploitative. Which is very sad.
Emotional connection does not equate to sexual attraction or lust
This is why so many beautiful women don’t have many boyfriends. Simply because 90+% of these “friends” secretly want to sleep with her.
How do you think that makes women feel?
It makes them feel like an object – like a piece of meat.
It makes women feel aggrieved, that they must be protected from all men at all times. They just can’t relax with men because they know the majority see them as pieces of meat.
This perpetuates various harmful stereotypes and things like sexual harassment and similar bad things.
This is why women are often on high alert when approached by some random guy. Because in the vast majority of cases, if the woman in question is beautiful, the guy wants to sleep with her and isn’t really interested in her as a person.
So here is a powerful quote for you from a woman:
“I want men to stop feeling personally betrayed by the fact that I am deeply and honestly involved with people, regardless of whether I desire them sexually. Because I value people and seek to understand and connect with them regardless of sexual attraction.”
So what does that mean? And how does this help you on your journey to becoming successful with women and learning about dating and seduction?
The answer is simple: You must do the same thing!
Connect with people even if you don’t want to sleep with them, and especially if you do.
When you really, really try to connect with people emotionally, regardless of whether you want to sleep with them or not, it will change your game for the better.
First, you will feel much more comfortable with beautiful women.
Second, women will never see you as desperate or needy when they notice you’re actually interested in hooking up and not just sex. Women will NOTICE that you want to connect with them emotionally without any ulterior motive. So they will relax around you too.
Third, you will make a LOT of girlfriends who do this. Some of it will be attractive and some won’t, but who cares?
And what do girlfriends do to guys they really like but don’t want to sleep with? They introduce them to their other girlfriends and set them up! Which means you’ll get a LOT of rest just from your new social circle.
As you can see, it is in your HUGE interest to start treating women, ALL women, as people. And to really care about them as people, connect with them on an emotional level, without ulterior motives.
Besides, one of these days you will get a girlfriend or wife. What will you do then? Will you suddenly go from a total cuckold who chases women to a normal guy who suddenly cares about them as people? This is incredibly disingenuous and just shows that you are not really a good person if you act this way.
And if that doesn’t do it for you, think of all the benefits you’ll get when you start actually talking to women like you do with your friends. It is very attractive, sets you apart from other men and makes you look confident, self-assured and high value.
Connecting with people emotionally is also good for your self-esteem.
