All of us are hard to love – Dave & Ashley Willis

All of us are hard to love. It’s not true; If you’ve been married for more than a few days, you can see this is true. “In this funny and practical YouTube video, Dave and Ashley Willis explain why everyone starts marriage with baggage. Because of this, we are all sometimes hard to love. The reality is that your husband needs your love the most when he deserves it the least.”

Is it hard to love you too?

And the same goes for you. But God wants us to love one another because He first loved us. “While we were yet sinners, he died for us.” Dave and Ashley point this out, which is important.

So, to continue with these thoughts, we’ve posted a few more below on the topic of loving your spouse when it’s hard to love. Glean through them, asking God to show you what relates to the state of your marriage. Please prayerfully consider:

• “We love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” (Sam Keane) “No, you don’t marry the perfect person, but you can love perfectly [as Jesus] and in this love, make them perfect” [to the degree that this is possible]. (Rena Willis) As Jesus said, “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you…” (John 13:34) (Rena Willis)

• “Marital love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because he sees more, he is willing to see less.” (Rabbi Julius Gordon) “Make it a habit to see your partner as God sees him. God sees everything and loves us anyway.” (Rena Willis) “We love because he first loves us.“ (1 John 4:19)

When it’s particularly difficult, consider:

• “Seeing our spouse as God’s son or daughter helps us to love them despite their imperfections. I know my kids aren’t perfect, but I still want them to be loved.” (Gary Thomas) “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

• “Love needs to be stubborn. Love isn’t always easy. It can be hard to love sometimes. The key to true love is being too stubborn to ever let it go. If you don’t stubbornly insist on loving your spouse, then it’s easy for that love to slip away. Love must be stubborn to survive.” (Kelsey Robertson)

• “For most couples, the love they started with is not gone. It’s buried under years of anger, misunderstandings and resentment.” (mybettermarriage.com)

Despite any difficult obstacle to loving your spouse again, remember:

• “Having made bad choices in the past does not mean that we must continue to make them in the future. In our relationship, we can say, “I’m sorry. I know I’ve hurt you. But I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you and meet your needs.’ Confessing past failures and expressing a desire to make the future better is a choice. I’ve seen marriages saved from the brink of divorce when couples choose to love and then learn to speak each other’s love language.” (Dr Gary Chapman)

• “Love isn’t just what you feel, it’s what you consistently do over time.” (Matthew Jacobson) “Love endures love is kind. He is not jealous, he does not brag and he is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not selfish, it does not get angry easily, it does not keep a record of mistakes. Love does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices in the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

• “You can give unfair love to your husband because God gives you unmerited love. Repeatedly, continuously. Ask God to fill you with the kind of love that only He can provide, and then give it to your spouse in a way that reflects your gratitude to the God who loves you. This is the beauty of Christ’s redemptive love.” (Steven and Alex Kendrick) “May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and the patience of Christ.” (2 Thessalonians 3:5)

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