For as long as I can remember, I have had a tight foreskin.
When I was younger, I didn’t realize there was a problem and that everyone’s penis didn’t look like mine. As I entered my teenage years, I began to realize that it was very tight.
Since then, it has always been an issue. I was able to masturbate, although my experience of masturbating was different from that of other people with a foreskin that was not very tight. When it came time for sex with partners, I started having problems.
I was reluctant to have sex as a teenager for fear of tearing something or getting parafibrosis – a medical emergency that happens when the foreskin contracts and then can’t go back. I live in the UK where the age of consent is 16, and while I would never dream of judging anyone else for not having sex, I I felt insecure about not having sex at a time when most of my friends and peers seemed to be sexually active.
When I was 19, I had sex for the first time after explaining my anxieties to my then partner. It was pleasant, but I couldn’t relax properly. Actually, I would never was able to relax during sex. I was physically able to have sex with a condom on, but I had heard the horror stories of the gag and it stopped me from living in the moment.
I’ve seen doctors over the years and considered the idea of a circumcision, but their advice generally focused on trying various stretching exercises or applying creams. Nothing worked. I felt like I was being let down when I felt circumcision would be the best option for me. Circumcision is not very common in the UK and is often seen as a last resort in adulthood.
Then the pandemic started and I put things to the back of my mind for a while. After all, for most of the lockdowns we faced, I was either living alone or with my parents, so sex wasn’t particularly high on my radar.
But a year ago, I decided to take the bull by the horns and go back to the doctor. I was told that the waiting list to see a urologist was incredibly long, so I decided to go privately.
There was still some waiting time, but near the beginning of March I was able to have the surgery. I was nervous beforehand as I had only had general anesthesia once before, and as someone who is lucky enough to be in good health, I am not very used to hospitals.
But I had the surgery in the morning and in the early afternoon I’m recovering in bed with TV and snacks.
What I struggled with the most before the surgery was telling my now girlfriend. When and how should I do it? I didn’t know what he would think of me needing the operation or the fact that I wouldn’t be able to have sex – or do anything with my penis – for a few weeks.
However, when I got up the courage to tell her on a night out with friends, she totally understood and was fine with it. In fact, she was an incredible source of support and we made our relationship official a few days later.
After the operation, I was in pain and had to recover in bed for a few days, gradually walking more and more around the house day by day until I was back to normal. Looking at my penis minus the foreskin also took some getting used to. After all, he was there for almost 24 years.
After three or four weeks, I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon to check how my penis was healing. He was pleased – and told me he had sent the foreskin off for examination, confirming that there were no sinister causes for the gag – and gave me the ‘clearance’ to have sex again.
Having never had sex without a foreskin before, I was a little apprehensive, but I soon realized I had nothing to worry about. I started taking it slow and gentle, using a condom, and gradually allowed myself to stop worrying.
While having sex, I could now enjoy it in the moment instead of worrying about hurting myself or causing a gag. My sex life has improved – I’m happier to try different things as I’m less preoccupied with avoiding being ostracized – as has my confidence and mental health in general.
My penis is easier to clean now, too, and I love the feel of it. A few months before my operation, I had epididymo-orchitis, where a tube at the back of the testicle becomes inflamed, and this could have been caused by either an injury or a urinary tract infection – which in turn could have caused me help. to challenge. Since my circumcision, I have had no such problems.
I have lost some sensitivity, which allows me to walk without pain or tenderness, but I still have enough sensation during sex and masturbation.
Is circumcision right for everyone? I’m not sure – there are also alternative procedures like frenuloplasty, and nothing is right for everyone. For me, though, it was the right move and it’s something I feel good about. I’m so glad I didn’t suffer in silence any longer.
