A lot of men seem to care, but that’s just silly
I don’t think about my body that much.
It’s not too low. It’s not that high. Nobody would bat an eyelash if they heard that.
I’m just a girl who got some experience before settling down. And then he got a little more adolescent after that.
I know the number. Or at least, I would if I sat down and added everyone.
I just don’t care enough to do that.
Because my number or anyone else’s doesn’t make much difference to me.
But I know some people care. And they care a lot.
Even in this day and age, I still see men trying to shame women for having a high number. Or reading about guys who are too hung up on how many people their current or future partner has fucked.
And that confuses me.
Because sure, I love hearing about women’s sexual experiences. I want to know about all their sexcapades – in detail.
I have a bit of a soft spot for girls who kiss and tell. And an even gentler one for people who kiss and show.
But a woman’s body count – that’s just a number. And not to offend any math nerds reading this, but numbers are boring.
So if you ask me, it’s just stupid to make a big deal.
Why men say they are interested
I’ve pretty much always known that men care too much about a woman’s body. But a few years ago, I decided to see if I could figure out why.
I ended up finding some answers on Reddit, because that’s where the guys were at their most honest and anonymous.
I searched through a bunch of comments to find as many arguments as I could. All of them fell into four different categories – and none of them were terribly convincing.
A high body number means he is not serious about a relationship
This is basically the idea that there are girls who sleep around and there are girls who are husband material – and never the twain shall meet.
But the two actually meet. Very often, too.
In fact, some girls bulk up because they want to get married. Sometimes a girl has to look for love in all the wrong places before she finally finds her soulmate.
Other girls are just having fun until they get that promise ring, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They are single or dating and there is no reason to do that with a chastity belt.
Then there are the horny ladies who really love sex. They have drives and will find ways to satisfy them. And when they really fall in love with someone, they will direct all that sexual energy into their relationship.
That doesn’t make anyone an excessive spinster. That makes her a guardian.
He is more likely to cheat
Women cheat for a variety of reasons. But I doubt her sexual history is high on that list.
He can walk away if something is missing from the relationship. She feels invisible, the intimacy is gone and the passion is gone – so she tries to take it elsewhere.
It could be because she no longer feels attractive and desirable – except when she’s flirting with someone else.
Or if Jeremy Allen White makes a pass to her. You can’t expect him to deny it – he’s only human.
But a high body count doesn’t make her more likely to seek action on the side.
If anything, I would be more concerned about a lady with a low body count. Because a girl who feels she settled too quickly and missed out on her fun years might just be tempted to see if the bird is greener on the other side.
He doesn’t have enough self-control
Okay, I really wish that was true.
But that’s only because I find it too hot. The idea of a girl losing control and getting fucked as a result really upsets me.
Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s usually the case.
A girl with a few notches on her bedpost probably didn’t make it there because she just couldn’t help herself. Like he didn’t really want to she hits all her friendsbut the temptation was too strong.
It’s actually much simpler than that. Many girls with a high body count got there because they made a deliberate decision to have sex as often as they wanted.
That’s what bothers some of these guys, I think. It seems they really believe a girl should say no to the sex she wants to have.
And I really can’t understand why.
He wanted to have sex, so he had sex. That’s not a bad thing – that’s how it’s supposed to work.
There are too many people who are deprived of harmless fun as it is. There’s no need to freak out about the ladies who don’t.
Also, I can’t help but feel that poor self-control is a weird reason to discount someone as relationship material. Sure, it can hit the Oreos a little too hard. But if she’s sweet and cute, that doesn’t seem like a rule out to me.
He makes bad decisions
This only makes sense if you think sex is a bad decision.
Or, at the very least, that it’s never a good idea to take a casual fling. That fucking just because it’s fun and exciting is a big no-no.
And maybe I didn’t drink enough of the Sunday School Kool Aid, but I just can’t see it that way.
Plus, I had a one night stand that ended up being one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. Saying no to letting this semi-stranger in my pants would have been a huge regret, and I’m thankful I went through with it.
And sure, some girls do a lot of things they regret. But others will rack up body measurements like Rambo because they had plenty of great sexual opportunities and took advantage of them.
Besides, even if that were true, I really don’t see why it should matter. If nothing else, it’s a chance to be her white knight. You can romance her, chill with her, and she’ll be thankful that all those bad sexual decisions are behind her.
Because men really care
I searched for a logical explanation as to why guys don’t want to be with a girl who has a high body count. But none of the ones I found really hold water.
And I think it’s because they make sense, not reasons.
It’s the explanations guys give because they think it sounds better than the truth – or they don’t know the truth.
Because there’s really only one plausible explanation for why someone would be so concerned with the number of guys a girl has fucked. It only makes sense if they are insecure about themselves.
Well, okay, I guess it could also be that they have some really messed up ideas about women and sex. We’ve all been raised in a very negative sex culture, so it wouldn’t be surprising if many of us end up feeling uncomfortable around women who like to have a good time once in a while.
But I think for the most part, it’s just that some guys can’t handle the thought that they’re not the best he’s ever had.
Deep down, they know that if she fucked a lot of guys, there’s a good chance at least one or two fucked her better.
The odds that she’s been hit by a bigger bird increase with every man she’s suffered.
So is the possibility that some of them were too hot. Or as sweet as possible. Or so charming that they could turn her on just by looking at her the right way.
Which is all good, honestly. Every girl deserves to rock her world at least a few times.
But I know that many kids just can’t stand the idea that their partner has had these kinds of experiences. She’s okay with knowing she’s been fucked stupid or fucked so hard she’s done things she can’t think about without blushing – as long as she’s with them and only them.
And no, they might not say any of that. They may not require proof that she has never been with someone who is very hung or that he could make her come without even touching her pussy.
But usually it will come out in some other ways.
Like passive aggressive comments about her sexual past. He gets a face if he says something nice about an ex. Checking out emotionally after making a joke about an old fuckbuddy.
Or insisting that there is something unattractive about a woman who has made it into the double digits.
It’s really not a big deal – unless you do
It honestly doesn’t matter if he’s fucked two people or two hundred.
Either way, she could still be a great girl worth pursuing. She could be really playful and generous in bed. She could be madly in love and deeply devoted to you.
He might have had great sex with other people before you came along. But that’s good and you should be glad he had the kind of hanky panky he can look back with love.
If you feel weird about it, that’s honestly okay. It’s standard, and we all have our own sexual baggage that we’re working through. This happens to be part of yours.
And working on it is exactly what you need to do. Instead of worrying about your woman’s body count, get to a place where you can be safe enough that it doesn’t even bother you.
This will make your relationship stronger. It will make you feel better about yourself. And it’s a lot less stressful than crossing your fingers and hoping you’re the only decent dick he’s ever had.
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