We don’t know about you, but we love to read a good love story — especially one that’s true. (Love stories are especially on our minds with Valentine’s Day coming up this month.) And thank God, this love story is both true and inspiring! For us (and we’re sure for God), this is the best kind!
We read about it in a book that we highly recommend you read (if possible). Released a few years ago, it is written by Joni and Ken Eareckson Tada and is titled, Joni & Ken: If Unsaid Love story
We love how real and vulnerable Johnny and Ken are in this book. They are our kind of people! Both let you know the beautiful moments, but also the difficult and even stinky ones. As Dr. James Dobson says,
“This is truly a love story. It is not just a story of a man and a woman who have gone through incredible trials and struggles together. It’s a story of your love, commitment and dedication to each other through it all.”
And this is.
We are especially interested in learning more about Joni and Ken after reading an article titled, In this thing together, written by Ken Tada. Joni is a quadriplegic and often faces many challenges. But we love how her husband Ken stands by her through all the trials that come her way as a result of her paralysis.
In this love story article, Ken wrote the following:
“My wife and I are not marriage experts. We’re not even experts at doing the disability thing. But we do know this: suffering can either tear people apart in a marriage or it can bring them together.
“And just as God reveals tender, intimate things when we patiently hold on to him through our personal suffering, a marriage is tender when a couple patiently holds on to God—and to each other—through hardship.
“I say this to every husband and wife who is going through difficult times: God always reveals himself to us when we come together, we desperately need him. And when we cling to God out of necessity, one of the most satisfying fruits of the Holy Spirit—the fruit of patience—cannot help but take root in a marriage.”
We remember Inspiration
What an inspiration! We are always looking for testimonials from those who make it in their marriages in the most difficult situations. This is not just to help other weddings, but because of the inspiration we gain. We try to remember them in the difficult moments of our marriage.
Steve was an insulin dependent diabetic for most of our marriage. As a result, we’ve been through some really, really tough times. These types of traumatic experiences break up many marital relationships. And we understand why it’s hard to keep your fingers crossed sometimes.
But we thank God that we have and we still “hold fast” to God and to one another. Temptations hold those moments when you just want to “move on” and not deal with the difficult things that disability, illness, and hardship bring to marriage.
On this topic, we share a few quotes below that we pulled from Joni and Ken’s book. We hope they inspire and/or help you.
One thing Joni wrote that we found to be true is:
“We all dream dreams and we know very well that they don’t always come true. Life is especially difficult in high expectations. Things almost never turn out the way we would have written them. The fact is, if we put our hope in a certain set of circumstances that work a certain way at certain times, we are bound to be disappointed because nothing in this life is certain.
“So what’s the solution? Should I give up on dreams? No, it’s realizing that if we belong to God, there are even bigger dreams for our lives than our own. But to walk in those bigger dreams, we may face bigger obstacles than we ever imagined. And we will be forced to rely on a much more powerful and wonderful God than we have ever known before.”
Can you relate? Sure we can. How thankful we are that we have learned and are learning to draw closer to God! We have also learned to reach out to each other in difficult times. Throughout our marriage we have seen that, “Life is hard, but God is good.” You just have to lean into Him and keep leaning. And then, as you look back, you’ll be amazed at the ways God cares for us.
Learning opportunities
Another thing written in Ken and Joni’s book is that life, in all its brutality, can teach us many things. We learn even though we may not like the way these learning “opportunities” present themselves. Joni writes:
“If there were lessons from the years of pain and now cancer. If there was any knowledge they needed to learn, it was this: suffering was—and would continue to be—the thing God would use in their lives to draw them closer to Jesus. It is to show them His power to sustain. And shine brighter through them. Brighter than ever.”
In this book about the lives of Johnny and Ken:
“Ken Tada thought back to the earlier days of their marriage, when ‘all he had to worry about’ was Joni’s paralysis. He reminded him of what the Lord had said to Jeremiah after the prophet had complained about some issues of injustice in his country. ‘So, Jeremiah, if you’re exhausted in this foot race with men, what makes you think you can compete against horses? And if you can’t keep your wits about you during periods of calm, what’s going to happen never problems dissolve like the Jordan in the flood?‘ (Jeremiah 12:5 MSG)
“Good question! In other words, ‘If you can’t handle a few skirmishes with the enemy today, how are you going to handle all-out war?'”
This is a good question. It’s something we can apply to our marriages as well. If we can’t handle small disagreements that arise between us, if we can’t find a way to build bridges of communication through “fights” and small irritations, how will you handle it in your marriage when the big stuff hits? We talk about things like the illness or death of a child or loved one. We are talking when a serious illness strikes one of you. Or you may be facing unemployment, the loss of a home to a storm, or a severe economic downturn. Life happens. It’s best to work on your marriage in the smaller moments so you’re better able to stick together in the tough times.
Using tests that Joni and Ken meet
Joni wrote:
“Thirty years have passed since Ken and I began our journey together. And God has used every trial—every hurt and heartbreak—to bring us together far more closely than we ever dreamed the day we were married.
“And the more devastating the trials, the more He has wrapped us both around Him. God has used depression and chronic pain and cancer. He has used it far more than quadriplegia—to bind us tighter than ever. One to the other. In him.
“This is the ‘cord of three strandsThe Bible talks about it (in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Husband, wife and the Lord himself. If the man and woman wrap their lives around each other in marriage, that is good. they will be stronger for it. But if both are woven around the living God, that is the best of all. It’s a union that will last through anything life can throw at them—even hell.
“It’s a beautiful picture. But we know that’s not true for everyone. It is especially difficult for couples dealing with a severe disability. So many of these marriages simply don’t survive the test. The fact is that we live in a society that does not know what to do with suffering. We do everything we can to escape it: we medicate it, cover it up, surgically remove it, entertain or drug it, institutionalize it, divorce it, or even euthanize it — anything but living with it. The suffering, however, is not going to go away. And marriage just magnifies it.”
He continues to write:
“They are trials that really press you to the bosom of your Saviour. It is the cord of three strands. Realize that your enemy is not your spouse or even disability or bankruptcy or disagreement or whatever is troubling you. The enemy is Satan himself.
“He hates marriage and has hated it since the very first union in a fragrant, misty garden called Eden. This fierce rival will do everything in his power to stifle married love. So be alert! Keep throwing yourself on Jesus Christ, relying firmly on Him, even when you don’t feel like it.”
Joni refers to the book in a quote from Dr Robert Mounce:
“Marriage has a way of improving,” says Dr. Mounce. “In a sense, the best life is a life invested in someone else. It is not a life invested in yourself… love is putting the well-being of another before your own.”
In closing:
Here’s a video I’d love for you to watch because it seems to sum up a lot of what they talk about in the book. In this video Joni and Ken share some essential insights on some things they’ve “learned through”:
They have certainly been tested by fire in many ways. As we said before, it’s a really quality pair! FYI: Here’s a link to the book for The Love Story of Joni and Ken (along with additional descriptions and reviews):
Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story
Additionally:
Here’s a link to more wedding inspiration you can read about in the article:
• INSPIRED WEDDINGS
At your wedding:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you overflow with hope in the power of the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 15:13)
Cindy and Steve Wright
– ADDITIONALLY –
To help you further, we give many personal stories, humor and more practical advice in our book, 7 ESSENTIALS to grow your marriage. We hope you’ll pick up a copy for yourself. (It’s available both online and in print.) Plus, it makes a great gift for someone else. It gives you an opportunity to help them grow their marriage. And who doesn’t need that? Just click on the linked title or image below:
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