Last month, the inaugural Securing Sexuality conference was held in Detroit, Michigan. Possibly the first conference of its kind, Securing Sexuality brought together experts from various fields to delve into issues of sexuality, technology and navigating our increasingly digital world. The Securing Sexuality conference was organized by author, sex therapist and regular guest on the show Dr. Stefani Goerlich and cyber security expert Wolfgang Goerlich. Stefani and Wolfgang hosts a podcast of the same name where they explore emerging dilemmas and practical solutions at the intersection of sex and technology.
At first glance, the idea of bringing self-proclaimed hackers, cyber professionals and sexuality experts together for professional networking may seem unconventional. However, as the conference progressed, the similarities and crossover between everyone’s work seemed more and more apparent. The Internet is becoming an inevitable part of our romantic, sexual, and personal lives these days, and often in ways we might not even think twice about. People meet potential partners on dating apps, send nudes on social media platforms, watch porn online, use Bluetooth-enabled sex toys, and engage in many other online-based sexual activities. With all of this in mind, understanding how digital safety practices interact with one’s sex life is really, really important!
THE CONGRESS
The conference hosted 160 participants from a wide range of professions – psychologists, social workers, consultants, hackers, lawyers, philosophers and many others. Stefani stated that this was slightly above their predicted turnout, as organizers aimed to “hold [the conference] Deliberately small and intimate, to really encourage relationship building across disciplines.”
The presentations covered a wide range of topics ranging from using the internet to connect with sexuality-based communities to safety tips for internet professionals. There were sessions on digital security for individuals, as well as helping professionals and their clients, creating an atmosphere of both self-care and caring for others. Each presentation was accessible, understandable and adaptable to each individual’s needs. Rather than simply presenting the potential dangers of online engagement, presenters often provided practical solutions and ways to navigate the digital space with greater awareness.
The conference featured two keynote speakers at the event, Dr. Nicole Prause and Eva Galperin. Prause, a neuroscientist at Indiana University, presented “Manosphere For Sale,” covering the growing movements of incels, men’s rights activists, and how businesses profit from the men who participate in these groups. On day two, Galperin, director of cybersecurity at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, spoke about proposed legislation that may hinder digital and personal safety for vulnerable populations.
Galperin opened her keynote by saying “Usually when I give a keynote speech… I say, ‘I’m here to radicalize you’… I’m not here to radicalize you, that work is already done… you’re my people. Instead, we’ll talk about what’s next.” This sentiment was true throughout the conference. the Securing Sexuality conference truly felt like an interdisciplinary convergence of minds, addressing issues related to bodily autonomy, personal safety, anti-surveillance, and promoting empathy and understanding in the face of oppressive systems. Everyone there was ready to talk about what was to come.
A GATHERING OF INFORMED PROFESSIONALS
The overall ethos of the conference encouraged a move away from fear-based models of sexuality education and cyber security risk assessment, promoting instead an empowered and informed decision-making process. In many ways, this approach was philosophically parallel to the Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). Whether talking about Internet-connected sex games, online dating sites, digital sex work, or another topic that combines sex and technology, each speaker made a clear presentation of the potential risks and practical safeguards one could use in his life. Instead of saying, “Don’t do this,” the message was characteristically, “Here are some risks you should be aware of, and here are some ways to promote safety if you choose to do it.”
There is something very special about connecting with a community when you feel like an outlier. This feeling is common among sexual minorities, confused exercisers, polyamorous individuals, and more. A sense of relief often accompanies the opportunity to join a community of like-minded individuals with shared and related experiences. The Securing Sexuality Conference created it for a diverse niche of extreme, cross-disciplinary professionals who focus on sexuality in their work. It can often feel isolating to specialize in sex, an extremely taboo and stigmatized subject. Having the opportunity to connect with others through this shared experience can be affirming and empowering.
This conference presented a beautiful example of what happens when people who usually feel left out come together and share knowledge with each other. There was a baseline of familiarity and camaraderie that people might not often experience in their day-to-day professional lives or even in their day-to-day personal lives. Stephanie shared that this was an experience felt by many participants, writing that a surprising number of people approached her and Wolfgang that “Sexuality Assurance was a space where they could just relax and be their most authentic selves, without worry about judgment, harassment or stigma” and that the conference “provided an incredibly unique experience for them in that regard”.
COMMUNITY MATTERS
Over meals and drinks in the evenings, the room was filled with people discussing the days highlights or talking about sessions that others might have missed. Whether it was laughter over Midori’s presentation of “pre-social sadism” to combat online trolls or deep philosophical discussions about the ethics of artificial intelligence and sex, there was always a sense of eagerness and curiosity in the air. Looking around, there were people in shirts preaching the decriminalization of sex work and sitting next to others wearing hacking slogans. There was a real mix of interests and professions, and the mixing of them all showed the beauty of interdisciplinary practice and how much we can learn from each other.
If you want to hear more about some of the highlights of the event, Stefani and Wolfgang recorded one live podcast episode during the conference, where attendees recounted some of their staple meals and Stephanie and Wolfgang told a story about how they almost became victims of cybercrime during the conference.
“We are incredibly passionate about this project, the importance of this information, and the impact that sharing it can have,” Stefani wrote to us about the Securing Sexuality conference. He said they are currently working to host the event again, but that it will depend on partners and sponsors, “We would encourage anyone who believes in what we’re doing or who would like the opportunity to do it again to reach out to us.”
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Image courtesy of Stefani Goerlich
