Welcome to Dear Sybersue today! One of the biggest reasons some people jump from one relationship to another is because of rebounding after a breakup.
Moving on quickly to another relationship helps men and women get over their ex’s disappointment faster, or at least they THINK they do. Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case because there’s still so much emotional baggage that hasn’t been dealt with. This is done on every new connection made along the way.
If you keep going from one partnership to another with no time in between, you’ll end up stuck in one loveless situation after another.
You may not even know that you are holding onto emotional pain from past relationships, even short-term ones. If you don’t have proper closure or take the time to acknowledge what happened to end a relationship, it can become an unresolved, deep-rooted issue for many years. Every scenario with a new partner becomes a bandit that comforts you temporarily. This will keep you in repetitive, unfulfilling situations until you learn to take responsibility for your choices.
The second reason some men and women choose this type of relationship pattern is because they are commitment-phobic and don’t want a full-on relationship. This could be the result of a terrible breakup that they are still dealing with, or a childhood issue that has caused them some lingering pain that keeps them emotionally unavailable.
Some people continue to choose this pattern because they become addicted to the excitement that each new relationship brings. After each experience, when the euphoria wears off, they finish the script and look for their next conquest.
It’s not unusual for some people to already have someone in mind before they leave. This happens so there is no time gap between partnerships. When you’re in this behavior pattern, you often end up leaving each new encounter before things get too routine or your heart has a chance of attachment.
Some people choose this repetitive situation so they can be in the driver’s seat and have the power to pull away before their partner does. It’s an unhealthy safety net to protect them from heartbreak.
Dear Sybersue
People who jump from one relationship to another often choose someone they can easily walk away from.
They may like the person, and also be attracted to them, but not excited enough to have a long-term relationship with them. The bottom line, when it comes to any of the situations mentioned in this post, is that if you choose this lifestyle, you probably aren’t comfortable being alone. You may think you are independent, but it is quite the opposite.
When you are confident and content with who you are and when the time is right, you choose to be in a relationship, you it doesn’t have to be in one.
One great thing about being in a relationship is that it teaches you valuable information about yourself and what you look for in a potential partner. That’s hard to do when you don’t invest enough time with anyone to ever get to know them. Over the years, this is not a very satisfying way to live because you are not challenging yourself to be in a mutually loving relationship. After a while, every short-term situation you end up in, it all starts to look the same! There are no rewards, just a repetitive regimen that keeps you hooked.
This can become a damaging pattern that is hard to break because you develop a dependency on always having to be with someone.
You become dependent on the excitement of a new relationship to give you a temporary buzz until it starts to become predictable and loses some of the initial sparkle that attracted you. When you don’t allow yourself to get stuck with someone, it’s not as painful to deal with when things suddenly end. The big problem with this scenario is that you end up leaving people hurt afterwards, and they’re left trying to figure out why you left.
This is not a good situation for you or the people you spend time with. There is no fulfillment for anyone because you are only there for a good time, not for long.
Like any kind of pattern you go on in your life, it takes on a monotonous tone that ends up making you even more confused and lonely. It’s always better to have a two-way romantic partnership where you’re both emotionally available than to have multiple 3-month situations that have no real meaning.
It’s often lonelier to be in the wrong relationship than it is to be single while putting energy into meeting a potential partner who is a better fit for you.
When you take some time away from being in a relationship all the time, it allows you to grow and figure out what’s important to you.
It’s hard to grow into a higher place in your life when you don’t change the dynamics of what doesn’t suit you. At the end of the day, many of these shaped relationship choices are based on fear. You’re afraid of getting your heart broken, so you keep walking away from every situation as protection.
Unfortunately, you are constantly diminishing your happiness by not allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Being in a satisfying partnership scares you because you have to let your guard down to accept them into your life. I’m sure you’ve heard the popular cliché: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.” I can vouch that this is a very true statement after many of my own trials and tribulations in the romance department!
You may think you’re getting what you want with these temporary flaps, as they keep you from getting hurt, but I can promise you from my own experiences, your heart is looking for something more. Never be afraid to step out and find the love you deserve. The experience is worth every lesson you learn along the way.
*Please watch the video posted below for more information on today’s topic!
Thanks, Sybersue xo <3
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