If you’ve read the New Testament, you probably know one of its major contributors, an Apostle named Paul. He was highly educated, knew many languages and cultures and made his way to the heights of the religious society of his time. Then the Lord stopped him in the middle of the road and changed his life completely. The Lord raised Paul up as a leader in the early Church and, through the Holy Spirit, gave him wisdom beyond his years, his education, and even his personal experience. God used Paul to speak about many things to many different audiences.
In all the books of the New Testament that Paul wrote, he spends a lot of time dealing with the relationships that fill our lives. In some relationships, he had first-hand experience to offer advice or caution, while in others he relied on practical, God-given principles as he taught the communities he was sent to reach.
Celibacy was a subject he was intimately familiar with, as there is no indication anywhere in Scripture that he ever married. As we look 1 Corinthians 7we get a front row seat as he speaks passionately about the single life and makes statements that still seem amazing hundreds of years after they were inspired and written.
After an introduction to the principles of marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul makes his first “surprising” statement about celibacy in verse 7: “I wish that all were as I am” (ESV). He repeats himself in verse 8 and expands his scope to include those who are single again after widowhood. “It is good for them to remain free.” From the context of scripture, we learn two things about this statement. First, he doesn’t write this as a command from God for EVERYONE to remain celibate as they are, but simply observing that if it were possible, then life would be less complicated in many ways. Second, we see that he declares celibacy to be a gift given by God in the same way that marriage is.
Paul picks up again towards the end of the chapter and makes his second “surprise” in verse 38: “So then, he who marries his betrothed does well, but he who abstains from marriage will do even better.” In the verses just before, Paul spends time explaining exactly what he does and does not mean when he says this. Again, he reminds us that he is in no way saying that no one should marry, nor is he advocating that anyone who is already married should leave that marriage. It reminds us all, married and single, that living the life God has called us to is always the best life. Here, he spends some time explaining WHY he believes the single life is “even better” … it allows for an undivided commitment to living a life of mission and pleasing the Lord.
When you read the passage as a whole, Paul seems to be writing about the goodness of celibacy and then doubling down to make sure no one misunderstands him as saying that marriage is in any way an inferior state. However, many times when this passage is taught in our churches today, this theme does not seem to shine through. Usually, about as much time is given to explaining the “better” single life as the verses about servants. Is this being ignored or added as just a footnote on purpose? I don’t think so, but it needs to start becoming part of a larger conversation going forward for both single and married believers.
If you’re like me and unemployment has become a bigger issue in your life than you ever imagined, then you’ve probably read these verses many times and thought (or maybe dared to say out loud), “Okay, Paul, I hear you, but what does that really mean it?’
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1. It reminds us that we are made for more than NOW. We are humans. we are born with the limitations that come with being finite beings. Our human needs sometimes scream so loudly that if we are not careful, they can drown out the voice of the eternal spirit that lives within us. Paul seeks to remind us that what we see around us now is not what we should be living for or trying to fulfill. If you are married with children, the needs and intensity of the NOW can become exponentially greater, and finding the time to focus on the eternal requires more effort. It’s simple math.
While being single is no guarantee that you will live a more fully committed life for God, I believe it comes with a call to strive to do so. Jesus Himself modeled the single, focused, missionary life. Are we living our single lives on purpose? Or do we just wait out the days until God changes our marital situation? Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians should challenge us to embrace this life to which God has called us, whether we are free for the rest of our lives or just for this current season.
2. It is a call to the Church to embrace and even affirm celibacy in the same way that God does. If we could look through Paul’s eyes, I believe we would see a vision for the Church today regarding celibacy that looks very different from the present reality. I believe he envisioned a place where “Singles Service” was at the heart of the Church. A place from which leaders flow to minister to the whole body, not a never-ending “purgatory” for singles that follows youth ministry and college.
Unfortunately, in many of our churches, it is assumed that marriage is a gift that God wants to bring to all, and the fulfilling, purpose-driven calling of celibacy is not taught until much later in life and to a much smaller audience. Leaders, teachers, missionaries, and single counselors are often encouraged to find a spouse to enhance their ministry or expand the scope of their gifts. If this is also God’s calling on their lives, then they should do it, but as Paul has warned, if it is not, then they should be encouraged to “remain as they are.”
What if, instead, churches could find a way to teach about committed singleness with the same enthusiasm and purpose that they teach about the importance of marriage and families?
If you’re single today, then know that celibacy is many things, but an “inferior state to be avoided at all costs” is not one of them. Living life as a party has its challenges, and sometimes it’s easy to crave the noise of the now rather than work to see the gift hidden deep beneath the surface. I pray that these amazing words of Paul will sink in and take root as you strive to live your life with a more focused purpose in what God is calling you to. I pray that God will drown out the noise of unfulfilled expectations and create a community around you to encourage and challenge you in the coming year.
If you are a church leader, I pray that God will give you the courage to encourage celibacy with the same passion as the Apostle Paul. I pray that you will look for ways to raise up individual leaders within your fellowship and that God will bless your entire community through this effort.
If you are a parent, please know that your son or daughter may be doing everything in their power to find a spouse and have their own family, but there is a very real possibility that God is calling them to live extended periods of celibacy as an adult. My prayer is that you don’t fear this for your child, but raise him to know the gift he can be. I pray that you will invite singles to be a part of your life and community and that God will bring them godly examples to follow.
Celibacy can be a gift both to the single man and to those in community with him.
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Stephanie M. Kozick has been living and working in Europe since 2008. She spent her first nine years abroad working with various ministries in Dublin, Ireland. In the last five years, he served outside of Athens, with national and refugee ministries. Currently, she enjoys teaching English, connecting internationals with ministry opportunities, and learning to cook food inspired by all the people groups that cross her path!
