We’ve all heard that women hate handsome men. But is it true? And why? Is it because all women have cold hearts?
Women don’t necessarily “hate” handsome men, they’re just not romanticized by them.
I used to be a typical nice guy. I mean, if you knew me, you’d probably be like, “Tony, he’s a really nice guy!” And most women would say that too.
But I’m a different kind of nice. I’m a nice guy with boundaries, a life mission, and a strict set of personal standards for the type of people I allow into my life. And so should you.
Just because she has perky tits and a button nose doesn’t mean you have to kneel down and submit to her every whim. That would make it simple for you.
Now, let’s get into the nice guy traits that women secretly hate.
- Authenticity
You know that feeling when someone is too nice to take something from you? All that fake politeness? Yes, it’s a terrible feeling, like when the priest touches your knee in the confessional and says, “Come closer, my son.” www.
Being insincere or too good at impressing girls often ends up feeling insincere and actually turns them off.
Think of it as that insincere politeness from a beggar when they want something – it just doesn’t fit. It feels fake.
Solution: Be true. Say what you really mean. State what you want. If someone farts, say “Far?” If someone is lying to you, call them out. This is especially true if she is beautiful. Women are so used to men being “fake nice” around them. Your straightforwardness will be a relief.
- Passivity
It’s important to take the lead with women. Being too passive, hesitant, or not expressing yourself confidently comes across as weak or insecure.
Confidence and initiative attract more interest, especially from women who are looking for someone assertive (as every woman is).
Solution: Get more action in your life. Make the decisions about where to go on dates, suggest what food to order, go on spontaneous adventures with her like a road trip to the beach, the mountains or a concert. If you’re trying to increase attraction, instead of waiting for her to make a move, touch her, tell her she’s hot.
- Opportunity
Resorting to overly symbolic gestures, rather than being straightforward about feelings, can backfire. It gives off an air of desperation that doesn’t make any girl feel all hot and bothered.
For example, he doesn’t respond to your text, so you send three more texts in the next hour. Or you argue, so you immediately buy her a dozen flowers instead of sticking to your guns or giving everyone time to cool off.
Neediness is a repellent to attraction to beautiful women.
Solution: Develop your sense of abundance mindset. Learn how to approach women or create a lifestyle that introduces you to more women. You won’t feel so attached to the outcome every time something goes wrong in your life.
- Lack of boundaries
Setting boundaries is critical with women. If you don’t get clear on what you’re okay with and what’s not okay in a relationship, things can get messy. It’s about respect and making sure you’re not taken advantage of.
If he’s constantly late, ignores your texts, asks for special favors, or flirts with other men in front of you (before sleeping together), then you need to set stronger boundaries. You have to be a little more No Man.
Solution: Stop being such a “yes” man. Learn to say no. Say what’s on your mind (calmly, logically), instead of bottling it all up and acting like everything is fine.
- Expecting rewards
Expecting something in return for favors, especially in relationships, is just lame. Sometimes it can make you seem more like a provider than someone really attractive.
For example, you take a girl out for an expensive dinner and then you’re upset because she doesn’t want to make out or see you again. Or you help her paint her house and she doesn’t want to suck your dick for it.
This is just weak sauce, beta male behavior.
Solution: Do nice things because you want to, not because you expect a reward in the form of attraction from it. I helped a girl move house once, not because I wanted to sleep with her, but because I was spending too much time on my laptop and wanted a day of hard work. And I slept with her.
- Hiding Emotions
Being open and honest about feelings tends to work better in the long run. I’ve had some positive results from being upfront about how I feel.
This doesn’t mean crying like a little bitch when he doesn’t text you back or declines your offer to suck your child.
Showing your vulnerability doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means being honest when honesty is beneficial to your relationship (even if it’s new).
Solution: Just try to be more authentic and more vulnerable about how you really feel. If you don’t like her vegan cake, say so, if you don’t want to come for a 3am booty call, say so.
- Not mysterious enough
The first big pickup truck called itself “Mystery” for a reason.
Have you ever shared too much about yourself upfront and felt like you killed the attraction? Finding that balance between being open and keeping some mystery is key.
Solution: Don’t give her every information about your life. Not at first. Make her work a little for it and she’ll be addicted to you.
- Too agreeable
Being too pleasant and not talking about your opinions or desires will reduce your attractiveness. It’s all about balance – being open to others but not at the expense of losing your own voice.
Controversy is often just an unpopular opinion. Look at a guy like Donald Trump. Love him or hate him, he’s a master at using resentment. It led him to become the President of America.
Solution: Try saying no to a change. If you like her and she wants you to paint her fence or drive her to the airport and she hasn’t slept with you yet, it’s okay to say “Thanks, but no thanks.”
- Lack of Initiative
Having goals and being proactive in life is much more attractive than going along without any ambition. Women are attracted to men who actively pursue their dreams.
The good guys tend to coast, providing other entrepreneurs with docile or cheap labor. It’s okay to be an employee, but be the best employee. Be a problem solver, not a docile cow in the herd.
Solution: Start your own business, throw a party, join Toastmasters, write a novel, start a band. Do something that will help you grow, improve your life and make you a more attractive man.
- Always available
Being constantly available without personal boundaries is not sexy. It means you lack independence and seem needy.
Some women want what they can’t have. Being unavailable makes your time more valuable. This doesn’t necessarily mean pretending to be busy, but actually being busy.
Solution: Don’t be available 100% of the time for anyone. This doesn’t mean ignoring a girl if she invites you over for homemade gnocchi and pipe. Get some hobbies that keep you busy. Start epic projects and spend time on them.
- Putting Others First
Being considerate is great, but going overboard and sacrificing too much of yourself makes you seem desperate or not really caring.
Do things for people because it’s the right thing to do. But refusing to kick someone out of state or move their apartment doesn’t mean they won’t still love you tomorrow.
Solution: Don’t be a doormat. Spend more time on yourself. Decline that request to move someone’s apartment for pizza when you have a cold. Say no to overtime if it keeps you sane. Make yourself the number 1 person in your life.
- Expecting specific results
It is better not to be too attached to specific outcomes in relationships or social situations. Getting too hung up on what you want (her validation) can come across as desperate, and that’s not sexy.
Just because you bought her a nice dinner and drinks, doesn’t mean you deserve her affection. And if it feels like you’re expecting a trade, it can be a huge turn-off.
Solution: Don’t shower women with gifts or freebies. Save it for special occasions, and only if you like it. And don’t expect anything in return.
- Passive-Aggressiveness
Nice guys won’t address issues directly because they fear conflict or want to avoid hurt feelings. So instead of communicating directly, the likable guy uses a passive-aggressive approach.
If he’s rejected by a girl, he might whisper under his breath, “You’re not my type anyway.” Or if he has a girlfriend and is dating someone else, he will try to undermine their relationship by talking shit about him behind his back. No cool.
Solution: If you feel something strongly, say it calmly. If saying something doesn’t do anyone any good, let it go. Move on with your life and find other women to approach and date. If you feel the need to express your feelings, say it calmly, without emotion, and let the cards fall.
conclusion
Unfortunately, the nice guy really does finish last.
This doesn’t mean you have to become a sociopathic narcissist, but you will benefit from a deep introspection about what has made this enjoyable in your life.
If you want to break that cycle of nice guy rejection, consider me your personal coach. Just book a free 15 minute consultation and we can discuss coaching options.
Tony Depp.
PS Here is the accompanying video for this article.
