The holiday season is a time of joy, fellowship and celebration. It is a time when families and friends come together to share love and create lasting memories. However, within the happy atmosphere, it’s important to recognize that not everyone experiences the holidays the same way. The holidays can prove to be a stressful and challenging time for many people for a variety of reasons.
For LGBTQIA+ people in particular, this time of year can sometimes bring unique challenges. In one report of over 1,200 LGBTQIA+ youth, 67% reported hearing family members make negative comments about their community, and less than ¼ of them felt they could be fully authentic themselves around family members their. Understanding and offering support to ensure an inclusive and affirming environment can make a world of difference and make the holiday season less stressful and happier for everyone. Here are some ways to be an LGBTQIA+ ally this holiday season:
Offer support and validation
Holidays bring people together who might not otherwise see each other often, providing a unique opportunity to foster understanding. A simple message that shows care and acceptance can make a big difference. In a recent literature review, Ryan and co-authors explained that individuals are more likely to feel comfortable expressing their authentic self and identity in settings where they believe they will be supported by others and, furthermore, that this social support is integral to their well-being. [1].
If someone feels comfortable expressing their identity to you, offer support and validation. Your willingness to listen and support can make them feel more comfortable being themselves this holiday season. You can also show your support by displaying LGBTQIA+-friendly decorations, symbols, and using gender-neutral language on your holiday invitations or cards to create a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere.
Respect boundaries and identities
Understand that not everyone may feel “out” or comfortable discussing their identity openly. Respect their privacy and allow people to share what they feel comfortable sharing, without pressure or assumptions. If possible, you may want to reach out before the gathering to see what ways you can make an LGBTQIA+ guest feel supported and accepted. For example, correcting someone else for using the wrong pronouns might seem like a good ally, but you might be unintentionally alienating the person if they’re not completely “out.” Protect their privacy and respect that different people may have different comfort levels discussing their identity with others.
An article in Out of Maine He also emphasized the importance of letting people decide what kind and level of participation they would like to have during the festivities. For example, if they are hesitant to attend certain gatherings or have developed new traditions that make them feel more comfortable, don’t push them to put themselves in situations that make them uncomfortable. Everyone is different and it’s important not to make assumptions. Be supportive while giving them the service to speak for themselves.
Embrace Inclusion in Traditions
One way to support LGBTQIA+ people during the holidays is to embrace inclusive traditions and be open to making changes to your own holiday customs. For example, the director of research science at The Trevor Project, Dr. Price, wrote that it might be worth skipping traditional holiday parties that can be uncomfortable for LGBTQIA+ people and opting for gatherings with supportive others or “choice families” instead. [2]. The holidays are meant to be a time of togetherness and celebration, so what better way to promote that than to create new traditions that bring people together!
Use gender-neutral language and gifts
It is important to be aware of the language used in the holidays. Consider using inclusive terms that cover all attendees. Instead of assuming someone’s gender identity, use neutral language or ask for people’s preferred pronouns. You can provide your own pronouns when introducing yourself to new people. This simple act of respect can go a long way in creating a welcoming atmosphere. It can also be extremely uncomfortable for people to receive gender-based gifts that are not gender-affirming. If you’re not sure, it might be best to gift something gender-neutral or ask the person if there’s anything they’d really like to receive during the holiday season.
Supporting LGBTQIA+ Organizations
Consider supporting LGBTQIA+ organizations during the holidays. Whether through donations, volunteering, or participating in their events, contributing to these organizations can help create an inclusive society year-round. There are many wonderful LGBTQIA+ organizations you can support, and you may find that there are local organizations making a difference for LGBTQIA+ people in your community.
Educate yourself and others
Take the initiative to educate yourself and others about LGBTQIA+ issues. There are many resources available, from books and documentaries to online articles and workshops. In fact, our site includes some great resources to get you started! Check out our blogs on current research on LGBTQIA+ people and common myths about sexual orientation. Share knowledge with others to promote a more understanding and inclusive environment.
Spread Love and Acceptance
Above all, the holiday season is about spreading love and acceptance. Embrace the diversity within your circle and celebrate each person’s unique identities and experiences. By cultivating an atmosphere of love and acceptance, you can create a space where everyone can feel accepted. Let’s remember to provide warmth and support to everyone, including LGBTQIA+ friends, family and community members. By promoting inclusion, respecting identities and creating a welcoming environment, we can ensure that everyone feels valued and celebrated at this joyous time of year.
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Bibliographical references:
[1] Ryan, WS, & Ryan, RM (2019). Toward a social psychology of authenticity: Exploring internal variation in autonomy, relatedness, and authenticity using Self-Determination Theory. Review of General Psychology, 23(1), 99–112.
[2] Myeshia Price, Ph. D. (2023, January 29). How to support LGBTQIA+ youth this holiday season. Parents.
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