For LGBTQ+ people, the pandemic has brought unique challenges, especially for those with difficult family situations
This content was originally part of ours Pandemic Support Series: to deal with the chaos and uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic and support young people through this difficult time.
Although many of us may feel like we are now in a post-pandemic era, this content will still be relevant to many people. There are still many people who rely on communication, relationship building and access to support online, whether they are continuing to protect themselves from COVID-19, have chronic Covid, or have any other chronic illness that means they have to limit in-person contact. There are still many reasons why we may need some extra support at this time and no one should feel excluded from society or unable to access the support they need.
The pandemic has been difficult for most of us. Everyone had to make compromises to protect themselves, their loved ones and other people. All experienced disruptions in their daily lives, suffered separation from loved ones, experienced social isolation and experienced deteriorating mental health. It was a very difficult time. But for many LGBTQ+ people, those challenges were more pressing and serious, especially when their identity intersects with poverty.
For me, the pandemic meant leaving my life and home to move in with my family for many months. I’m a young adult who hasn’t lived at home full-time in five years, so moving back home wasn’t a decision I took lightly. Actually, I had no choice.
Back to my family home with no other choice
My accommodation was closed when the national lockdown was announced. This meant I had no choice but to turn to my parents. At the drop of a hat, I left my friends, colleagues and support network to move into my parents’ house. I have been living independently for years, with my own life and the values I hold dear. smallo it is difficult to live for a long time with my parents. Common family issues of conflicting views, lifestyles and needs were magnified. I’m not out with my parents, and maybe I never can be. I felt isolated from my support network and, without many people to turn to, my mental health suffered.
For LGBTQ+ people who are out in their family, moving home can be just as difficult. Many people have family that does not accept their identity and some may even face violence. In these situations, small disagreements can explode into larger and sometimes dangerous situations.
In my case, after six months at home, many different events came together to create an environment where I did not feel safe or happy. I left, staying with other family members, before eventually returning to my hometown and finding a new place to live.
Find new support and community
I quickly settled back into my life—well, a new pandemic-shaped version of it—and found opportunities to reconnect with my friends and spend a lot of time with my partner. Being back in my supportive community was a relief. Community is a huge part of many LGBTQ+ people’s lives. This is certainly true for me, especially for my community on a personal level: the people I surround myself with every day.
My parents have very difficult views on LGBTQ+ people, to the point where I don’t feel like I can answer them. As a result, living at home and being physically separated from the people who accept me, love me, and let me feel really affected my identity, which in turn affected my motivation and happiness.
Community in a broader sense is also a huge aspect of LGBTQ+ people’s lives. In a world where LGBTQ+ people face discrimination and violence, community support and connection is vital to our health and well-being, to our existence. The pandemic has shut down many of the aspects of community that LGBTQ+ people depend on. Safe spaces such as cafes, bars and clubs have been closed. Personal support groups have been suspended or moved online. Social and community events have stopped.
For me, closing social safe spaces was very difficult. Nightlife and community events have been a huge part of my LGBTQ+ culture and life. As someone who only has 18 months to himself and his friends, it was definitely hard not to have the opportunity to meet more LGBTQ+ people and explore my identity with the comfort of people I can relate to.
Advice and reassurance for others who may be struggling
Last year was very difficult. But it will get better. Here are some little tips that I hope will help if you’re struggling:
💛 Reconnect with the LGBTQ+ people in your life.
People are there to support you. They have your back! If you don’t have an LGBTQ+ group, reach out to people you know who are allies and can talk. Video calls, text messages, and games are all great ideas for staying in touch when you can’t meet face-to-face.
💛 Explore online groups and in-person community alternatives
For example, Friend of London has many online social groups for different groups within the community. If you miss clubs, Queer House Party have your back! They host online queer parties – a safe space and lots of fun. I went to their event with the Young Barbican and had a really great time. Ask your roommates to join you!
💛 Explore LGBTQ+ resources online
This can help you feel connected to others in the community. Why not try Fumble’s Sexuality and Gender Resources for all LGBTQ+, or gal-dem articles tagged “Queer” to hear the voices of queer women and non-binary people of color.
💛 Counseling and support groups
Taking care of your mental health with an LGBTQ+ affirming service is a really positive step. Find support in your area with Stonewall’s search tool and check out Fumble’s list of LGBTQ+ counseling services.
💛 Explore LGBTQ+ TV, movies and podcasts
Fumble has put together a list of must-see movies to watch during LGBTQ+ History Month and beyond – this is a great place to start. Check out The L Word (00s drama series about gay women, set in Los Angeles) and It’s A Sin (BBC show about love and friendship in the midst of the AIDS crisis, set in London in the 80s). You could also listen to the Pants podcast in which two L Word stars talk about their friendship and casually interview (usually queer) guests.
Discover Fumble’s Pandemic Support Series
The pandemic has had a huge impact on all of our lives and we have all struggled to adapt to the changes that continue to happen all around us.
Our pandemic support series explores young people’s experiences of COVID-19 and helps you begin to make sense of the chaotic and uncertain times we live in. Discover the full range here.
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Last reviewed September 20, 2023
Image credit: Gemma Chua-Tran via Unsplash
