What is a sensual massage?
A sensual massage is a bonding time for couples to experience romantic atmosphere, relaxing sensations and pleasant touch. It often involves partners taking turns giving and receiving a soothing, relaxing massage.
7 sexy massage tips for a sensual massage
Step #1: Decide who will be the first giver or receiver
A sexy massage starts by deciding who will be the giver and who will be the receiver. It is important to have defined roles because some people are so focused on giving that they forget to receive while others are so focused on receiving that they forget to give. Therefore, designing roles for each clarifies expectations and ensures that both partners are doing their part. It may help to set a timer for 10-15 minutes and then switch roles when it rings. The job of the giver is to provide the sensual massage to his partner. For example, start with the legs, then move to the legs, then the stomach, then the back, then the shoulders, then the arms, then the arms, then the head. All sexual parts are off limits during the massage because this is sensual touch time and not erotic contact time. I will discuss in step #7 whether or not things get romantic after the massage is over. The giver’s job is to experiment with different types of touch, such as light tickling, kissing, light massage or firm massage. The receiver’s job is to provide positive redirection with acknowledgment. This means that if you don’t care about the kind of touch you’re getting, nudge your partner toward the kind of touch that would feel best, then tell them how good it feels. This trains your partner on how to touch your body. For example. If your partner uses light tickling on your back and you don’t care, gently tell them “tight massage”, then when they switch to a firm massage, confirm it by saying “yes, it feels so good”. This keeps the experience positive and enjoyable for both partners. Also, when you’re on the receiving end, keep asking yourself “where do I want my partner to touch me next?” This question will help you stay in the “here and now” and focus on what your body desires.
Step #2: Optimize vision
We are visual creatures. Therefore, it is vital to optimize your visual senses during a sensual massage to optimize your pleasure. Consider all your visual options. To begin, consider the level of illumination. Would you like candlelight for a low glow? Would you like the bright lights to actually see your partner? Wish there were no lights to feel more relaxed? Discuss this with your partner and find a compromise that works for both of you. Next, how would you like to decorate your room to make the massage feel more romantic? Would you appreciate looking at rose petals, pillows, photos of you and your partner? Third, what would you like your partner to wear? Would you like them to have regular clothes, PJs or silk underwear? Think about everything you will look at and what you will enjoy the most. I recommend wearing your underwear during the massage because this is sensual touch time, not love time. If you’re both naked, the low-libido partner will likely feel pressured to get sexual, which will undermine his relaxation during the massage. Also, if you’re both naked, the high-libido partner will likely feel frustrated if things don’t turn sexual. Therefore, wearing your underwear during the massage is a visual reminder to both partners that this is a sensual time, not an amorous one. I will discuss in step #7 whether or not things get sexual after the massage is over.
Step #3: Optimize the smell
Next is the smell. What would be more pleasant for you to smell? A first step for some might be to ask your partner to show up for the sexy massage with a fresh shower so you can smell soap on their body. What about incense or candles? Some popular candle scents include vanilla, lavender, roses or lemon. You want the massage to be a multi-sensory experience, so optimizing the smell is important.
Step #4: Optimize the flavor
Next comes the taste. Do not forget that a major source of pleasure is what we taste. So incorporate flavor into your sensual massage. Think about what would be more pleasant to drink or bite during the massage. For some this may be dark chocolate pieces or drinking red wine. Anything that would feel pleasing to your palate is fair game. A word of caution. Be sure to prop yourself up on something as you conjure or sip so you don’t choke during the sensual massage. Talk about a mood killer!
Step #5: Touch Optimization
Next is touch. Your entire body is a sensory organ through touch. So think about what would optimize your pleasure through touch during the sexy massage. Consider what type of surface would be best to lie on for the massage. Would you prefer carpet, pillows, throws or sheets? Also, what clothes or underwear would you like to wear that would make you feel more comfortable? Being relaxed and comfortable is the key to massage. When you are relaxed, you will remain in your parasympathetic nervous system, which will allow you to enjoy the sensual massage much more. Also, what kind of lotion would you like your partner to use when massaging your body? One of the most popular choices is coconut oil because it smells good, rubs in easily, and doesn’t make a mess like baby oil does.
Step #6: Optimize the audio
Next is the sound. What would you like to hear during the sensual massage? First, think about what type of background sound or music would be most enjoyable for you. Would you prefer silence, crickets, crackling fire, ocean waves, romantic songs or hip hop? As with all sensations, be sure to discuss your partner’s preferences to find a compromise that works for both of you. If you can’t find a compromise, consider asking the recipient to choose their preference as they get the massage, then switch it as the other partner gets their massage. Also, what kind of sounds would you like to hear from your partner during the massage? Would you like silence from them or would you like to hear them make noises to indicate how the massage makes them feel. For example, your partner may make a soft moaning sound as you rub their shoulders because it feels so relaxing. If you prefer your partner to make sounds in response to your touch, be sure to discuss how comfortable they would feel with that and find a compromise that works for both of you. Being sensitive to both partner’s preferences and seeking compromise is always the goal.
Step #7: Decide if touching will happen next
This may be the step you are most curious about. When the sexy massage is over does it lead to sexual intercourse? The short answer is, it depends. Some nights when the sensual massage ends, the high libido partner may be aroused, but not the low libido partner. On those nights the partner with a high libido can go to a different part of the house and pleasure himself if he chooses. On other nights after the massage both partners may be aroused or open to being aroused. On those nights things may get romantic, but it’s relegated to the partner with a low libido. Think of intercourse as a buffet and not just intercourse. If the options are sex or nothing, partners with low libido often choose nothing. Some options to consider are some nights you do everything above the waist, other nights it’s all manual below the waist, other nights it’s all oral below the waist, other nights you lie next to each other while enjoying yourselves and other nights you do everything. intercourse. The low libido partner chooses what they are open to and that determines what the couple does. This approach is beneficial for partners with low libido because it restores voice and choice so they can be fully present during sexual activity and provide full consent. This approach is beneficial for partners with a high libido because their partner will be more committed during intercourse and they will have more frequent intercourse of some type. Therefore, it creates a win/win for both partners.
So there you have it, the top seven sexy massage tips for an amazing sensual massage. First, decide who will be the donor or recipient. Second, optimize your viewing pleasure. Third, optimize your pleasure with smell. Fourth, optimize your pleasure with taste. Fifth, optimize your pleasure with touch. Sixth, optimize your audio enjoyment. And seventh, decide if the erotic touch will happen after the sensual massage is over.
Most couples rarely touch and when they do it’s for sex. This may work for high libido partners but not for low libido partners. Low libido partners need regular non-sexual touch to feel close and connected. Skin-to-skin contact also releases the neurotransmitter oxytocin in your brain, called the love drug. This is why newborns are placed on their mother’s chest after birth to begin the bonding process. When you and your partner have skin-to-skin contact, oxytocin is released, which bonds you together. Therefore, prioritizing massage is essential to bond you and your partner. Plus, getting a sexy massage is a great way to bring romance back into your relationship, which is what many partners desire most.
Click below for more resources to improve intimacy with your partner.
Learn how to avoid a sexless marriage
Find out why it’s useful to vary your sex positions
Learn how couples can optimize sex in marriage
Learn about the top benefits of mutual masturbation
Learn the top ways to optimize sex for wives
Find out the top four sexy games you should try
Get my FREE PDF on 4 Steps to Better Communication. Click here to get it!
What other sexy massage tips would you recommend for an amazing sensual massage?
