It goes all the way to the beginning. Genesis 2 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And his man and his wife were both naked, and he was not ashamed.”
We may not always feel shameless when we are naked. We may have insecurities or feel uncertain, but we can ask God to continue to deliver us from them, help us fully enjoy physical intimacy with our spouse, and we can build greater trust with our spouse us to help us feel more comfortable.
5 ways to improve your married sex life
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Read the Song of Solomon and notice the way the couple thoroughly enjoy each other. The language isn’t modern, but yes, everything means what you probably think it does! There is no inhibition, only pure enjoyment. Our bodies were created to fit together perfectly. God created us. no wonder sex is great! He created our bodies to enjoy touch and experience sexual pleasure.
2. Talk about what you want in your sex life with each other. Another thing we can learn from this couple is to we talk about what we want in our sex lives together. So no, I’m not necessarily recommending comparing your husband’s hair to goats or his teeth to sheep, but it’s helpful to share with each other what you want in your sexual relationship. Many couples never talk about sex – they just argue about it. Talking about sex outside of the moments you’re having sex will help you see more of what you want to happen in your sex life and help you stay on the same page about it. (If you need help talking about sex, try our Love Creation Research).
3. Stay at the comfort level of the one who feels least comfortable. No matter what you both want and decide to try, always stay within the comfort level of whoever feels less comfortable. Both spouses’ comfort level is equally valid, but because it takes two to tango, always defer to the less comfortable spouse’s limits. Your husband needs to know that he is respected and can fully trust you with this. Confidence in the bedroom is essential for great sex.
4. Connect the remaining 23 hours of the day. Your connection level throughout the day carries over into the bedroom. Be sure to keep accounts short: apologize and forgive freely. An unresolved conflict will block your connection. Make sure there is plenty of non-sexual touch every day. Hugs, hand holding, back rubs, kisses. All of these are connected and help you connect.
5. Make your sexual relationship a priority. Decide to unwrap the gift and keep unwrapping. Don’t miss out on the growth and closeness your marriage can experience from great married sex. Pray for God to help sex in your marriage be exactly as He created it. Remember, He knows what He has given us in this gift. Enjoying your sex life helps your marriage not just survive, but thrive.
For ideas on how to have more fun and connect in your sex life, check out our Spice it Up Sex Challenge! It’s easy to get into a daily routine and forget how to have fun and excitement in the marriage bed. We created this challenge as a fun way to try some new things and have a playful goal to work towards.
