Are you trying too hard in a relationship to win their love? Here are 5 signs you’re working too hard and what to do about it.
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Have you ever felt like you were trying too hard in a relationship? Maybe you were the one to plan everything or pick up the slack when your partner didn’t make it. Trying too hard is unhealthy for both of you. Here are five signs you’re working too hard in a relationship and three things you can do instead.
5 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard in a Relationship
1. You make excuses for their bad behavior
2. You overanalyze everything they do or don’t do
3. You overanalyze everything you do
4. You try to win their affection
5. You feel like they have all the power
How to stop trying so hard in a relationship
Remember your worth and ask yourself the following questions to assess if this relationship is working for you:
- Are they investing the same energy and time into the relationship as you are?
- Are you giving from a place of love and generosity or from a place of insecurity and fear?
- Why are you trying so hard to make the relationship work?
If someone doesn’t value you or what you bring to the relationship, they don’t value you.
If someone doesn’t invest the same time and energy into the relationship, they don’t value you.
Maybe they are too busy or busy for a relationship. Maybe they are afraid to be in a close relationship. Whatever the reason, it’s not your job to carry the emotional labor of a relationship alone. It takes two to make a wholehearted union.
If you’re trying so hard, especially at the beginning of a relationship, ask yourself why. Is it because you want to be liked or loved so much? Do you think exaggeration and over-giving will win you love? Is that something you learned growing up? If so, take some time to heal that part of yourself and fill your own void instead of hoping a partner will fill it for you.
People don’t fall for you because you try so hard. They fall in love because of who you are, not what you do. If you want to give your partner from a place of love, this is the right kind of incentive. If you’re giving from a place of fear and insecurity, it’s time to stop and think so you can stop the unhealthy behaviors and have a relationship based on equal effort from both parties.
Have you ever tried too hard in a relationship? Please share below.
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