5 Signs Your First Date Is Worth A Second Date

I’d like to offer five first date green flags that suggest a second date might be a good idea. Before I do that, though, an important caveat: Many of us struggle on first dates, with nerves, awkwardness, and expectations. We want to do our best, but we may not come across as our best selves.

So be aware of the green flags and at the same time keep an open heart and mind. Stay tuned to your intuition and avoid quick judgments or knee-jerk reactions. Remember that the person sitting across from you or walking next to you on the first date is also human.

Now, on to the positive signs:

Your appointment shows up early or on time

Showing up on time is a sign of respect, and mutual respect is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. If your date is waiting for you when you show up or arrive on time, it means they value your time and that the meeting is important to them. We don’t want to reject people outright if they have a credible reason for the delay. That would be too rigid. We do, however, want to watch out for sleazy, untrustworthy or dishonest behavior.

Your date shows a healthy curiosity towards you

We’ve all been in the company of people who talk endlessly about themselves and don’t ask us questions. We feel invisible, unseen and disrespected. Ideally, your date will be as curious about you and your life as you will be about them, and the conversation will flow easily between you without one party dominating the conversation.

Remember, we’re looking for a healthy curiosity. We don’t want to feel like we’re in a job interview or under interrogation.

Your date respects your boundaries

Whether you want to avoid drinking alcohol, stop after a glass of wine, go home early, or maintain a physical distance, you have the right to set boundaries and protect your personal space. A healthy person will respect your boundaries. They won’t push them or try to get you to reject them. It’s also important to stick to your boundaries and not send mixed signals, so take some time to decide before the date what time you want to leave, how much you want to drink, and how close you’d like to get.

You feel comfortable with your date’s presence

You feel safe and secure when you’re on your date, rather than unsure, insecure or nervous. You feel like you can show up as your authentic self. You feel able to speak your mind, speak your truth and share your opinions without fear of judgement. Even if your date disagrees with your views, they do so respectfully. You are both willing to see the other’s perspective and can agree to disagree without conflict.

Your date communicates clearly

Whether in person towards the end of the meeting or via text afterward, your date clearly communicates with you, as you communicate with them. They say they want to see you again and suggest some future dates or end things politely. Watch out for confused or mixed messages and have the courage to communicate clearly yourself. This will save everyone time and pain. Nobody likes to disappoint people, but the disappointment will be greater if we are not honest from the beginning.

Along with these first date green flags, many of us want to feel a natural attraction to our date. That would be great, but while healthy chemistry is great, an intense spark can signal an unhealthy connection that may be rooted in deep emotional wounds. That’s why it’s important to be discreet, go slowly, ask others for support and try to discern God’s will for you through prayer and through talking to people you trust.

On the other hand, an attraction can grow. So, after a date, ask yourself if you had fun, if you felt safe, respected, accepted and able to be your authentic self, and if you’re curious to learn more about the person.

If that’s the case, try a second date, the purpose of which, of course, is to decide if you want a third date.

What are the green flags for your first date?

Did you enjoy reading First Date Green Flags: 5 Signs Your First Date Is Worth a Second Date? You can read more helpful first date posts here and check out our collection of date idea posts here.

About Katherine Baldwin

Katherine is an author, dating and relationship coach, midlife mentor, and motivational speaker. Her book, How to Fall in Love – A 10-Step Journey to the Heart, has helped single women and men around the world understand their relationship roadblocks, change their patterns, and date with courage, clarity, and confidence. Through 1:1 coaching, online classes, workshops and guided tours, Katherine supports people to create healthy relationships with themselves and others and create lives they truly love. She also writes for the national media on topics such as love and dating, well-being and personal development. You can learn more about Katherine’s work at www.katherinebaldwin.com and you can read her blog at www.fromfortywithlove.com.