There are codependent habits that destroy relationships, but here’s the truth you might not know…
Every relationship between two people who live together, love together, and are together as companions on the path of life is codependent to some extent.
But problems occur when this codependency becomes unhealthy.
Some people realize that their codependency is hurting their relationship, but others have no idea that their codependent behavior is destroying a really good thing.
The question you need to ask is codependency in your relationship healthy or not?
Here are four relationship-ruining codependent habits that people often don’t realize they’re doing until it’s too late…
1. Being a bully
Bullying your partner into doing what you want and what you believe will satisfy your needs and bring you happiness will put a strain on your relationship.
Nobody likes a bully (even if you don’t see yourself that way).
When faced with someone telling them what they “should” do, people either resist and fight or give up and retreat – emotionally and energetically “checking out,” even becoming passive-aggressive.
When this happens, you lose hope for what you want in your relationship.
You can’t be in a close, connected, loving relationship if your partner feels bullied.
They just won’t feel safe enough to open up to you and give you their whole heart.
2. Being all takers and not givers
There is always an ebb and flow in any relationship, but people who are considered “codependent” usually want to get much more than they give.
If one of the characteristics of codependent behavior is that the codependent person is overly dependent on others, then they need to make sure their needs are met, even at the expense of the partner’s needs.
When one person is perceived as “taking” too much in a relationship, eventually the other person will tire of the dance and move on either physically or emotionally.
3. Being pleasant
You can destroy your relationship with codependent behavior when you are happy.
When you’re happy, you can fool yourself into thinking that your behavior is selfless and that you’re just being nice and kind.
But there is always a hidden agenda that can be hidden even from yourself.
When you’re too “nice” to fulfill an unspoken agreement you make with yourself without telling your partner what you expect in return, it can create a dynamic that breaks down trust and certainly communication.
The pleaser becomes codependent on the other’s approval and gratitude.
And when that doesn’t happen, the happy person loses grounding and can feel lost.
4. Letting fear run the show
Codependent people let their fears run rampant and believe every thought that pops into their head.
This is especially true when jealousy rears its ugly head!
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They let their fears fester, and relationships that were once free, fun, and full of potential feel like a trap.
The codependent person fears losing safety, security, or what they think they have and is consumed by “What-If-Down” thinking.
What-If-Down thinking is immediately thinking (and holding onto) the worst possible thing that could happen instead of seeing even a small possibility.
When you realize that you don’t have to believe all the “worst” thoughts that come to your mind…
When you realize that holding on to the worst thought doesn’t protect you or prevent the pain (it just keeps it alive and growing)…
You can make other choices and “don’t know” is a great choice!
Codependent behavior doesn’t have to hold you or your relationship hostage or destroy your relationship.
You can make other choices that are healthier and create a happier, more peaceful and loving life!
