Hello friends,
We are almost three weeks into 2023… can you believe it?
The end of 2022 was wild for me and Alex. We made some big decisions as the year came to a close, both personally and for our ministry. We have seen God move in amazing ways and present us with opportunities, some of which we did not even have the ability to dream of. If you follow us on social media, you’ve already heard about some of these new things, and we’ll continue to share updates as time goes on. We also went through some difficult weeks with some pain in our bodies that showed us our need for the Father. Through it all the Lord was good and faithful. He appeared and spoke to us in wild and beautiful ways, and we are so grateful. So here we are and ready for all that 2023 has to offer.
Don’t be a Wisher in 2023
Although we are in a new year, with all the new possibilities, realistically nothing will change unless we do things differently. We can do all the hoping and wishing we want, but without major lifestyle changes there won’t be a significant difference in your marriage.
The truth is, there are a lot of people out there who wish their marriages were better. They see other couples and wish they had what this couple has, but the wish is as far as it goes, which means nothing really changes. When nothing changes usually the same couple will come up with excuses as to why nothing has changed, but at the end of the day, the real reason is that wishing gets us nowhere.
Let us not waste the time the Lord has given us in this new year wishing things were better. Let’s spend our time actively making changes that will ensure our marriage grows in 2023.
We all know what the proper care is for a plant to grow. It needs good soil, water and sunlight. When a plant has these three elements, there is no limit to the growth it can achieve. The same principles can be applied to your marriage. Your marriage needs proper care to grow and be healthy. When you invest in your marriage and take good care of it, there are no limits to the growth and influence your marriage can achieve.
Now there are many ways you can invest in your wedding this year and there are many resources out there for you to use. We encourage you to take advantage of as many of these resources as possible. Every wedding is different and requires different action steps, so find the ways that work best for you and dive in.
We will use this blog as a starting point where everyone can get started.
Below are three ways you can start taking care of your marriage in 2023.
Practice patience with your spouse
Be completely humble and kind. be patient, bear with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
For some reason, after people have been married for a while, it seems to be a common consensus that you no longer need to be patient with your spouse. As you examine your relationship, you may find that you have far more patience with a complete stranger than you do with your husband or wife. Our husbands should get the best from us, which means they deserve the most patience, not the least.
Now I get it, it’s easy to get frustrated with your husband. It is especially easy if certain behaviors occur frequently or if things are being forgotten on a regular basis. I’m sure if I asked you to tell me something that frustrates you about your husband, you could give me many examples.
We’re not asking you to respond perfectly 100% of the time, and we’re not asking you to ignore behavior that needs to change. However, instead of losing your temper, try to use your words to communicate your frustration in hopes of finding some resolution.
If there is something that is causing conflict between you and your spouse, being patient does not mean allowing bad behavior. Patience means communicating and dealing with frustration in a calm manner. You talk to your husband about what’s bothering you and discuss ways to change it in a way that isn’t demeaning to him.
Practical ways to practice patience
The next time something happens and you’re tempted to lose your patience.
Ask yourself this question…
Is it really a big deal?
If the answer is no, move on with your day. Don’t let minor annoyances ruin your day and your wedding.
If the answer is yes, instead of being impatient and short with your spouse, find some time and have a calm conversation with him about what is bothering you. The goal here is to find a solution so you can both move on.
Support your spouse in both big and small ways
Do not let any evil speech come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for edifying others according to their needs, so that it can benefit those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29
Your husband has hopes, dreams, interests and hobbies just like everyone else. At the beginning of most relationships, we find all the differences about our spouse fascinating and enticing. We want to hear everything about them and we think everything is great. As time passes, we lose interest. Especially if we don’t share the same interest or dream the same things. However, we can support our spouse whether or not we agree with him or even understand him.
We have seen in many marriages that both husbands and wives are guilty of being too negative towards their spouses’ interests, dreams and hobbies. It’s like they feel the need to reduce these areas as often as possible.
I’m not sure when this was accepted, but it needs to stop now.
Our marriage should be a safe space. A place where we can go and talk about our interests, hobbies and dreams and not be brought to our knees. We need to be our spouse’s number one support system. Because if they can’t come to us with the little things, they certainly won’t come to us when the big things come up.
Practical ways to support your spouse
When your spouse shares an interest, dream, or hobby with you, start by not being the first negative voice he hears. Even if you don’t understand it or even completely agree with it, don’t be negative first. Listen to them and show interest first and then you can ask questions clearly.
Bonus points if you can find a way to support them by doing their “interest, dream or hobby” with them. Remember that it doesn’t have to be your favorite thing to show support.
Take care of your husband’s needs
Love one another with brotherly affection. You outdo each other by showing honor.
Romans 12:10
Let’s wrap up this blog by talking about how to take care of your spouse this New Year. Caring is not a word you hear people use a lot in a marriage relationship. When we think of “taking care” of something or someone, most people usually think of something or someone who cannot do things for themselves, such as animals, children, or the elderly. While we care for them, we can also care for our spouses.
One definition of care is to attach importance to something. We take care of things we think are valuable. This is the kind of care I encourage you to show your husband.
Your husband and his needs are important. Our relationship with our spouse should come second to our relationship with God, so let’s be intentional this year about taking care of our spouse.
Don’t know how to do this? You are welcome!
At some point today, ask your spouse this – How can I take care of you today?
Since this is something you may have never asked don’t expect an answer right away. Give them time to think about it, but when they answer you, go all in.
Practical Ways to Care for Your Spouse
Make sex a priority this year. We all have physical needs and this is one way we can care for our spouses in an intimate way.
Take something off their plate. If there is something you can do for your spouse to lighten their burden, show them you care by helping them.
Speak their love language. Nothing speaks love and care like speaking your spouse’s love language. You can learn more about love languages by reading our blog – Marriage and the Five Love Languages.
New Year is here!
As we enter the new year, let’s leave wishing for 2022. Let’s stop using excuses. Instead, let’s make it a point to intentionally invest in our marriage. Remember…with proper care your marriage will grow this year.
You can do this!
We are praying for you!
